


More Than You Know

by nilshki



Series: More Than You Know [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, firefam - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-01-16 13:51:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 44,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21272087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilshki/pseuds/nilshki
Summary: Eddie's forgiven Buck, and things are back to normal between them. By normal, we of course mean they are in love with each other but haven't confessed to anyone yet. After a bad call, Buck goes over to Eddie's to keep him some company. Except Eddie isn't home. And when Eddie does arrive, he bruised and bloody.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Axwell /\ Ingrosso

_ This is dumb _ , Buck thought, not for the first time that night. He was standing outside Eddie’s house, but it was completely dark inside. Not even the porch light was on. Buck wondered where Eddie and Chris were. He’d knock, but if Christopher was sleeping he didn’t want to wake him. And the whole point of this was to surprise Eddie, so calling would kinda ruin it. He put down the six pack and leaned back against the porch railing, sighing. _ This was a dumb idea. What do I do now? Do I wait around, do I call, do I knock? Or do I just say screw it and go home? Ugh, crushes are so DUMB! _

It had been a bad call that day. Some stupid teenagers had been partying, celebrating Halloween or something. And they got in the car. Drunk driver. Multiple deaths before the 118 had arrived, and more that they couldn’t save even afterwards. Only the baby in the backseat of the other car had survived - the baby that now didn’t have a mom. Buck couldn’t help but think of Shannon, how similar the events had been, how that must have affected Eddie. To see another kid lose their mom. If Buck felt it so keenly for Christopher’s sake, then Eddie, his actual dad, must have it much worse. Buck just didn’t want to be alone that night, and he figured Eddie might want some company too. Sure, Buck could have gone to hang out with Maddie and Chim. Maddie had taken the 911 call and Chim had been there so they would have both gotten it. But he would’ve felt like he was third wheeling. Hen had Karen to lean on, and Cap and Athena had each other. And damn it, he just wanted to chill with Eddie, sue him. _ Ugh why are feelings like this?? _

Buck was just picking up the beer and turning to go to his Jeep when he saw headlights turn into the driveway and Eddie’s truck park directly behind him. _ Well I guess that’s that decision made for me… _

**

Eddie was dizzy. He knew he’d made it home, somehow, but he couldn’t remember the drive at all, except in flashes of traffic lights and stop signs. He could only vaguely remember even getting up off the pavement and getting into his truck. He groaned and leaned his head on the steering wheel. _ It’s miracle I didn’t cause another fucking tragedy on my way back. _ He would just sit here for a second, get his bearings, and then go into the house. And shower, bandage up, take some meds and sleep for as long as he could. _God__, everything fucking hurts. _He jumped when he heard a knock on his window and winced when that jostled his arm. 

_ Shit _. It was Buck, smiling a bit sheepishly and talking a little too fast. “Hey, you’re just coming home? I figured you could use some company while Christopher was sleeping, I brought beer, where is Christopher by the way...Hey are you okay, you don’t look to good, hey hey Eddie come here, I got you, I’ve got you…”

Buck grabbed Eddie as he started to fall down getting out of the truck. Eddie groaned at the pain in his head and arm as Buck propped him up. He pressed his face into Buck’s chest and just stood still for a second. His head spun every time he moved, and he wished Buck would just let him go inside and pass out on the couch. He may have said so out loud, based on Buck's response. 

“Shit Eddie , I’m not taking you inside like this. You’re bleeding and bruised all over, I’m pretty sure your arm is broken and I’m like 99% positive you have a concussion. We’re going to the ER. What the hell happened man?!”

Exactly the question Eddie was hoping to avoid. “I’m fine Buck, seriously, I just need to go inside and clean up.” 

“Bullshit man. I’m taking you to the hospital, no arguments. Where are your keys? You kinda blocked me in.” Buck started going through Eddie’s pockets looking for the keys to his truck. When he reached the front pocket of Eddie’s jeans, finally, locating the keys, Eddie laughed humorlessly. “Careful there cariño, or you’re going to find out just how much I like your hands on me,” he muttered into Buck’s neck. _ Shit, he shouldn’t have said that out loud. _

“What’d you say dude? You’re basically incoherent right now, I can’t make out anything you’re saying.” _ Thank the lord. _“You definitely have a concussion,” Buck continued. “We’re going now, get in the car.” Buck managed to get Eddie in the passenger seat and ran around to get in and start the car. 

**

“C’mon Eddie, stay awake, we’re almost there.” Buck reached over and took Eddie’s face in his hand, shaking a little, switching between watching the road and watching Eddie. “Seriously man, just stay with me, you’re gonna be fine, we’re almost there.” Buck was starting to feel a little desperate. It had been several minutes since Eddie said anything and Buck was really worried about him. _ Shit, he's going to be okay, he has to be okay. _

“Street fight,” said Eddie suddenly, sullenly. “Bad day, bad call. I needed to let off some steam.”

“Eddie what the fuck! Are you insane, you know those are illegal, and dangerous, and God what about Chris, what if something worse happened to you-” Buck broke off as he glanced at Eddie and saw the shame clear on his face. “Never mind, it’s not important now. We’re gonna get you to the hospital, get you fixed up and back to Christopher good as new. Okay buddy? You’re going to be okay, I’m going to make sure.” Buck kept one hand on Eddie’s face, stroking his cheek. _ To keep him awake. And to reassure myself that he’s still here. _Eddie nodded a bit and leaned his face further into Buck’s hand. 

They finally arrived at the entrance to the emergency room. Buck found the closest spot he could possibly park and ran around the car to get Eddie. Eddie was slumped in his seat, his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his breathing heavy. Buck was pretty sure Eddie wouldn’t be able to walk at all, even with Buck supporting him. He contemplated throwing Eddie over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold, but he was seriously worried about jarring Eddie’s head, with the concussion and all. He contemplated the situation for half a second more. _ Screw it. _ He put his arms under Eddie’s back and legs and lifted him up. _ Bridal style. Even when I’m freaking out the gods of irony are laughing at my expense. _

He carried Eddie into the ER and looked around for a nurse. “Hey, excuse me, over here? He needs to see a doctor, NOW.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm seriously not a writer at all, but this story has been brewing in my head for a few days now and I figured I would try to write it out. So I'd appreciate some slack on the quality :)  
This is literally just the first scene of like a dozen that I've thought up in this storyline, and I'm planning on writing the rest but we'll see how it goes. Its basically just gonna be them realizing their feelings for each other after Eddie gets hurt and working out this new relationship. I just wanted more Buddie content, both conflict stories and everyday life with them and their adorable son! So I'm making some content. Enjoy and let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance for spelling and grammar mistakes, and my general ignorance of how Spanish works means I’ve only sprinkled a few worlds here and there to try to limit the amount I embarrass myself :)

“Excuse me sir, but if you aren’t family you can’t go in there.” Buck just stared at the nurse in disbelief. “But he’s my friend, he shouldn’t be alone…” Buck started to panic when the nurse’s expression didn’t change from firm determination. 

  
  


“We’re going to call his emergency contact, so someone should be with him soon.” He turned and walked back to his desk to make the call. Buck followed. “I’m pretty sure that would be his grandmother, I don’t have her number, could you give it to me and I’ll call her?” 

“I’m sorry sir but I’m not allowed to give out any patient information.” 

“Well then can you at least let me talk to her when you call?” 

“That’s against hospital policy sir.”

“Please, I’m pretty sure she has his son with her, she won’t be able to leave him, and Eddie won’t want Christopher here in the middle of the night. Can I please just talk to her so we can figure things out?” Buck asked desperately. 

The nurses features softened a bit. “All right,” he said. “I will ask if she’s willing to speak to you after I explain what’s going on.” The nurse motioned for Buck to sit on one of the chairs while he made the call. From there, he could make out the nurse telling Mrs. Diaz that Eddie was injured and that she should come. He was too far away to even make out a little of Mrs. Diaz’s responses. Suddenly the nurse was gesturing for him to come back and handed him the phone. 

“Hi Mrs. Diaz, this is Evan Buckley, Eddie’s friend, I’m not sure if you remember me?”

“Yes of course m’hijo, Eddie and Christopher talk about you all the time.”  _ Wait, what, they do?  _ Buck shook himself out of his thoughts while Mrs. Diaz continued speaking. “Dios mio, what did that boy get himself into now? Is he okay? They won’t tell me much until I get there.”

“They unfortunately won’t tell me anything either, I’m not family. He was pretty beat up when I found him but I think now that he’s under care he’ll be okay? I hope. Anyway, I figured I would come by? And stay with Christopher? That way you could come here, Eddie shouldn’t be alone in the hospital and they won’t let me stay with him…” Buck trailed off as he heard the desperation creeping into his voice.

“That’s so thoughtful of you cariño, yes I think that’s the best option.”

“Great, I’ll leave now and be there soon.”

**

Mrs. Diaz took one look at Buck when she opened the door and gathered him into her arms. Buck melted into the embrace and tried not to start sobbing.

“Oh sweet boy, you must be exhausted. Come in, come in.”

Buck followed her into the house and sat in the kitchen chair she pointed to. She already had her bag and was reaching for her keys on the counter. “What happened?” she asked. Buck told her about how Eddie came home, all bloody and bruised.

“But he was able to drive, and I think he lost consciousness earlier but while I was with him he was awake. The doctors wouldn’t tell me much except that he’s stable.” 

She nodded and swallowed hard, holding back tears. “Did he tell you how it happened?”

Buck looked at the floor and hesitated. “I think he should be the one to tell you, it’s not really my place…” 

“Nonsense m’hijo, he’s your best friend, and my grandson is a good boy but he isn’t perfect. What happened?” 

“He said he was street fighting,” said Buck softly. She closed her eyes and sighed. 

“That silly boy, he always did bottle up his feelings to deeply…” she took a deep breath.

“Okay, practicalities. Christopher usually wakes up around 7 in the morning. He likes eggs for breakfast, though you probably know that. It’s Sunday so we don’t have to worry about school....”

“What should I tell him? How do I tell that little boy that his dad’s hurt? And he’s going to want to see Eddie, but I don’t think Eddie will want Chris to see him like that…”

“You’re going to tell that little boy that his father was hurt but is going to be fine. And in the morning during visiting hours you’re going to bring him to the hospital. He needs to see his father, see that he’s awake and okay, for himself. Otherwise he’s just going to worry here all day.”

Buck sighed, and then looked at her. “But what if he’s not okay?”

She looked at him with sympathy and sat down. She grabbed his hand and looked right into his eyes.  _ Jeez her eyes look just like Eddie’s. So much trust in them...how do they do that? _

“M’hijo, you’ve got to have faith. He’s going to be fine. From what you told me he’s badly beaten up but it’s not life threatening. He just needs some good medical care, and that’s what the doctors are for. And I’m going to go make sure they do everything in their power to heal him. It’s all going to be alright.”

Buck squeezed her hand and smiled ruefully. “I should be comforting you Mrs. Diaz, not the other way around.”

She tsked and shook her head. “I’ve seen enough beaten up boys in my day to know exactly the right amount to worry. And I have faith in God.”

She stood up to leave, then turned back to Buck. “Also, I’ve decided that you should call me Abeulita from now on.”

Buck looked up, shocked. “What?”

“Here give me your cell phone number. I will text you when I arrive at the hospital.” Buck was speechless, but took her phone to add his number.

“Thank you m’hijo. I’ve just texted you so you have mine. And don’t forget - put my contact under Abuelita! I’m the only one you have so you should know who it is.”

She grinned and walked out of the house, leaving Buck sitting at the kitchen table with his whirling thoughts and jumbled emotions. He put his head down on the table.  _ Damn feelings!  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am absolutely blown away by how much support and how much people seem to like this! I’m so glad I’m not the only one obsessing over this couple lol. Anyway, hope you like chapter 2 also. I’m probably not gonna be posting in any sort of regular schedule because of my real job, but I will try to continue this story as long as I can 😊. Thanks again for all the love!


	3. Chapter 3

Eddie wished they had let Buck back with him. He was trying to follow what the doctor was saying but his head was spinning.  _ Everything hurts.  _

“Mr. Diaz, I suspect you have a concussion based on the disorientation you’re exhibiting. We’re going to send you for an x-ray for your arm first, so we know what the damage is. Then we’ll get a CT to assess how much swelling is going on in your brain. Okay? But the consent forms need to be signed first and I don’t think your signature would count as informed consent right now. I’m going to have the nurse call your emergency contact so that we can get things rolling.”

_ Well damn, I should’ve made Buck an emergency contact. _

“My grandmother...but she’s with my son...can’t leave him…” Eddie muttered, unable to gather his thoughts more than that. 

“I’m sure they will figure it out. I’m going to give you some painkillers to make you more comfortable, and try to get some rest until your grandmother gets here.” 

“Sure, thanks doc,” Eddie managed. He swallowed the pills the nurses handed him and closed his eyes.  _ God, I wish Buck was here.  _

He eventually drifted off to sleep.

**

Buck sighed and leaned his head back into the couch cushions. Mrs. Diaz -  _ Abuelita  _ \- has just texted him an update. A broken arm and confirmed concussion. Some bruising on his ribs and face, along with some cuts that needed stitches. Observation required because of the head injury, but otherwise Eddie was going to be okay. 

Buck sat for a second, absorbing the news. Then he dropped his head in his hands and started sobbing. Most of it was from relief. Relief that there was finally news, that it was mostly good news. That he wasn’t going to lose his best friend.  _ I’m not going to lose Eddie. Christopher isn’t going to lose his father. God that hurts to even think about.  _

Another part of him was scared and overwhelmed. Here he was at Abuelita’s house in the middle of the night, Christopher sleeping soundly. For now. What if he had a nightmare and woke up? How would Buck explain everything to him when in all likelihood he would just want his dad to hold him and tell him it was just a dream.  _ I’m a poor substitute for Eddie, or even Abuelita. And then I’ll have to tell him where they are, when he’s already feeling scared and lonely...God help me. _

He would just have to hope that Christopher slept through the night tonight. Buck didn’t think he was going to be able to sleep. But in case, he set an alarm so he would be awake before Christopher was. He didn’t want the kid to wake up with nobody else home and Buck asleep on the couch. Then he turned the TV on low for some company and laid sideways on the couch. Eventually the emotional and physical exhaustion of that day and night caught up with him, and he fell asleep.

**

Eddie woke to his head pounding and his abuela stroking his face. 

“Well hello there m’hijo. How are you feeling? Should I get the doctor?”

“No, I mean my head kills and I’m nauseous, but the doctor said that was normal for a concussion. It’s why they’re keeping me here for observation.”

His abuela said nothing, just looked at him with that look. The one of love and disappointment.  _ Like she expects better of me. As she should. I have Christopher to think about…. _

“I know we need to talk Abuelita, but do we have to now?” 

“We don’t need to talk Eddie. You need to listen to me. I know why you went to those dumb fights. You’re like your Abuelo was, like your Papá is. You boys bottle in all your feelings and forget there are people who love you who you can talk to. And professionals who can help you. You brought Christopher to a therapist when he was going through trauma didn’t you? And you saw a counselor when you got back from Afghanistan, so you know what the right thing to do is. You’ve been through so much since Shannon’s accident. Evan getting hurt, Evan and Christopher in the tsunami, the lawsuit, and Evan told me about that awful accident yesterday. It makes sense that you needed an outlet. But you need a healthier place to put your feelings m‘hijo, or you’re going to end up in a worse state than you are now. And what will happen to Christopher and Evan then?”

Eddie hesitated before questioning, “...What do you mean, ‘and Evan,’ Abuelita?”

She looked at him with a knowing smile. “Is that all you took away from my speech?” Eddie looked down sheepishly and started to apologize, but his abuela kept speaking. “Cariño, that boy looked like his world had been turned upside down when he showed up at my door. His face when he asked what would be if you weren’t okay? It broke my heart.”

Eddie’s heart started beating faster at his abuela’s words. Unfortunately for his ego the machines he was hooked up to started to beep faster as well. His abuela just smiled smugly.  _ She sees too much.  _

Eddie cleared his throat and tried to calm his racing heart. “How is Buck doing with Christopher by the way? Any issues, any nightmares?”

“I told Evan to try to get some sleep about an hour ago and he hasn’t texted me since, so I assume he and Christopher are getting some much needed rest. Don’t want them falling asleep when they come to visit tomorrow.”

“Wait, no, Abuelita, Christopher can’t see me like this! It’s bad enough I’m in the hospital, but I know my face looks like sh-,” Eddie broke off. “I mean, I know I look awful. I don’t want him to see me and worry.”

“He’s going to be so much more anxious if he knows his dad is in the hospital but he isn’t allowed to see him. Can you imagine, a boy with an imagination as good as his? He’s going to fear the worst, when in reality you’re just a little roughed up. He needs to see you and talk to you m’hijo, it’s the best thing for both of you. I told Evan to bring him, and I won’t take any arguments from you,” she finished firmly. 

Eddie didn’t have much he could say to that, except, “Will he tell Chris about the fights?” 

“I guess we’ll find out in the morning won’t we?”

**

Buck woke with a start. At first, he thought his phone was ringing, and panicked that Abuelita was calling with bad news. Then he realized it was 6:30 and the alarm he had set was going off. He silenced it quickly, hoping the sound hadn’t woken Christopher. He also shut off the TV still playing in the background.  _ Shit I can’t believe I actually managed to sleep.  _

He walked into the kitchen and quickly located the coffee. He felt gross and rumpled. He was pretty sure some of Eddie’s blood was still on his shirt, but he didn’t have a change of clothes.  _ God I wish I could shower.  _ He would have to wash out the stains before Christopher woke up. And maybe he could find some mouthwash or something, to get the horrible morning taste out his mouth. He put the coffee in the brewer and walked to the bathroom. After washing his face and shirt, he felt marginally better. All he wanted to do was go home and curl up in his bed. But he also wanted to be there for Christopher, and that meant being strong. Also, he really needed to see Eddie for himself. Hearing that he was okay was one thing, but Buck hadn’t seen his best friend since he handed his limp form over to the doctors last night. He needed a little visual reassurance.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror. After a minute he scrubbed his hands over his face harshly.  _ Get your shit together Evan. There’s a kid who’s going to be awake soon and he needs you to be calm and unruffled.  _

He decided to hang his shirt on the shower rod until it dried enough to wear. He quietly opened the bathroom door and started back down the hall to the kitchen.

Then he heard movement from Christopher’s room. He turned just before he heard a loud thump, and his heart dropped.

He burst into the room. “Hey, hey buddy are you alright?” It seemed that Christopher had been reaching for his crutches and stumbled a bit. Buck frantically looked him over but Chris didn’t seem any worse for wear. 

“B-Bucky? I’m okay, I just fell. What are you doing here? Where is my bisabuela?”

Buck swallowed hard. “It’s a bit of a long story kiddo, do you wanna wash up, and I’ll make you breakfast and tell you what’s going on?”

“Is everything okay Bucky? You seem worried. Can you just tell me?” 

“Everything is okay Christopher, I promise. Come let’s sit down.”

Buck sat next to Christopher on the bed. “Listen buddy - your dad and you’re bisabuela are in the hospital, but they are both  _ okay  _ , alright?”

“Then why are they there?” 

“Your dad is a little hurt, kiddo. He’s got some bumps and bruises and the doctors are keeping him there to make sure they are healing properly.”

“Buck, if he’s okay, why do the doctors need to keep him there? Why can’t he come home?” Christopher was starting to look very distressed, so Buck gathered him into his arms. 

“Shh shh buddy. I promise he’s going to be okay, your bisabuela texted me and told me so. It’s just that he hit his head pretty hard - you know that head injuries are kind of tricky right?”

“Yeah, I remember after the tsunami the doctors asked me a lot of questions about whether I hit my head or if I was dizzy or felt sick...I heard them tell Daddy to watch me for that.” 

Buck squeezed the kid a little tighter, then let go and looked him straight in the eyes. “That’s right. Your dad has that, it’s called a concussion, it means his brain is a little swelled up, like what happens if you jam your finger or something? And he’s going to heal just fine but the doctors want to watch him and make sure he rests properly so it can heal.”

“That makes sense Buck. I’m still worried though, can we go see him now?”

“It’s a little too early in the morning kiddo, they won’t let me in until visiting hours. But if you really want I can take you to the hospital and drop you off with Abuelita. You’re family so they’ll let you stay with him.”

“But you’re family too Buck! Why won’t they let you in? That’s stupid.”

Buck chuckled a bit even though his heart hurt at Christopher’s sweet words. “I’m not officially family kid, and the hospital has rules about visiting, because patients need a lot of rest to get better. But do you want me to take you?”

“No Buck I want you to be there with us, we’d miss you too much.” Buck choked up a little at that and blinked back tears. “Are you sure buddy? Because it would totally make sense if you wanted to see your dad right now.” 

“I’m sure Buck. Let’s have breakfast. Also, you smell a little? We should go to your house so you can shower and change. You don’t want to be smelly when we visit Daddy.” Christopher’s smile was angelic. Buck couldn’t help but hug the kid again.  _ How did I get so lucky with this kid? This family? How do they trust me so damn much?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally spent the whole weekend thinking about this story which is why I keep posting, but I’m expecting that the actual work week will get in the way, so sorry in advance if I don’t post for a while after this! Then again, I can’t stop thinking about this so who knows? Thanks again for all the positive feedback, it’s so so appreciated, I smile at every single comment or kudos or bookmark ☺️


	4. Chapter 4

It was only 7:30 in the morning by the time Buck and Christopher had finished breakfast, driven to Buck’s place, and Buck had showered and changed. So Buck suggested they stop by Eddie and Christopher’s house, since he had Eddie’s key anyway. “That way you can pack up some books and games to take so you have something to do all day. And your crayons and markers are at home - maybe you can make Daddy a get well card like you made me?” 

“Yeah Buck I really want to! Let’s go.” So Buck grabbed his wallet, keys and phone. They hopped back into Eddie’s truck and drove the few minutes to the house. 

“All right Buddy, I’ve got to make some calls okay? You go put whatever you want into your backpack and then you can color until it’s time to go, okay?” Christopher made off towards his room and Buck walked into Eddie’s kitchen. The shower and change had really helped, as had the few moments alone to break down again before being strong for Christopher. Now he had to tell the rest of the team, especially since both he and Eddie were supposed to be on shift today. 

He called Bobby first. He figured he should get the practical shit done. He also really wanted to hear Bobby’s voice, to get his reassurance that Eddie was going to be okay and Buck was doing the right thing with Christopher. Bobby was a dad too, he’d be able to help Buck navigate Christopher for as long as Eddie was laid up. 

“Hey Bobby, how’s it going?”

“Hey Buck, what’s up? Everything okay? I thought you and Eddie were going to come in a bit early to work out, but the gym was empty when I arrived.”

“Yeah Cap, about that…” Buck filled Bobby in on the events of the previous night. Bobby listen sympathetically, expressing shock and caring at all the right points in the story. Buck felt better just getting it all out into the open. He had told Christopher and Abuelita already, but not from start to finish, all the dirty details included.  _ Well I didn’t tell Bobby everything...like why I really stopped by Eddie’s place last night…  _ Nevertheless, talking to Bobby was cathartic. Bobby was someone he didn’t have to hold back with. 

“Buck, I'm going to make some calls. I’m going to try to move the shifts around so that we can all come see Eddie today and check in. And I’ve got to find a short term replacement for him while he heals up…”

“Well since I’m back Bosko is an extra hand isn’t she? I know they haven’t quite put her team back together yet so she might be able to take Eddie’s shifts for a while.” 

“That’s a good idea Buck, but you have shifts most often with Eddie, are you sure you’re going to be okay working with her? I know you two didn’t start off on the best of terms.”

“Yeah well neither did Eddie and I, Cap, remember?” Buck smiled. “Anyway, I’m sure we can figure it out. That way after today you don’t have to shuffle the entire schedule.”

“Thanks Buck, that would really make things much simpler. Listen, Hen and Chim just walked in so I’m going to let them know what’s going on. We’ll meet you at the hospital later after I figure out the shift schedule for today.”

“Thanks Cap, I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you guys. Just, don’t chew him out for the fighting? I think he gets that it was a bad idea, and since nothing happened on work time you don’t really have an obligation to do anything…”

“Don’t worry Buck, I’m not going to make this harder on him with a lecture. I’ll just express my concern for his well being, and his son, and you.”  _ What does Cap mean, and me?  _ Buck was about to ask but Bobby continued speaking. 

“And Buck? Call me if you need anything else - I mean anything okay? Hen and Chim will say the same, but Athena and I are here for whatever you need kid, okay?” Buck choked up a bit at Bobby’s words. He knew he could count on Bobby for a lot but it was nice to hear every once in a while. 

“Th-thanks Bobby. I really appreciate it. You go tell the team, I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Bye Buck - oh and call Maddie, since I’m gonna fill Chim in here.” 

“Will do Cap, seeya later.’

Buck hung up the phone and took a deep breath. At least he would only have to make one more call, since Bobby was with the others. He picked up his phone again and dialed Maddie’s number. It rang a few times before Maddie answered with a sleepy “Hello? Evan what’s up?” “Shit Maddie did I wake you? I figured you’d already be out of the house by now.”

“Some stuff is going on at work, I had to take a leave…” Maddie cleared her throat before continuing. “Anyway, I’ll tell you all about it a sibs dinner this Wednesday. But why are you calling so early Evan, is everything okay?” 

“Wait Maddie you can’t just say that and expect me to ignore it! If I didn't have more pressing things to think about right now I’d totally be getting this out of you, but right now I gotta tell you - Eddie is in the hospital and I’ve got Christopher, I’m not going to work today either, I’m going to take him to see Eddie.”

“Woah Buck, is Eddie okay? What happened? Were you and Christopher with him? God, are you both okay?”

“We’re fine Maddie, we’re both fine. Eddie was...going to this fight club? Illegal street fights or whatever. I went over to his place last night…” Maddie coughed, and he knew she was trying not to laugh. “Not like that Maddie!”  _ Though I kinda wish the night had turned out that way rather than how it did… _

Buck’s thoughts started to drift towards drinking on the couch, getting closer, maybe moving in for a -  _ snap out of it Buckley this isn’t the time to be fantasizing about your best friend.  _ He cleared his throat and heard Maddie actually laughing at his short lapse in concentration. “Evan you still there? You went by Eddie’s place…”she prompted. 

“Yeah, I stopped by with some beer but he wasn’t home. I was about to leave when he showed up, looking really rough, cuts all over his face and holding his arm like it was broken. After talking for a minute he also seemed really out of it. I was worried about the arm and his head so I took him to the hospital. Then I went to watch Christopher so his grandmother could be with him. They - they wouldn’t let me stay so I knew he needed her there.” 

“Oh Evan you poor baby.” 

“Not a baby Maddie.” 

“You’re my baby brother, always will be Evan. Anyway that’s not the point. I’m coming over to you right now, I’ll be there in five. Don’t leave for the hospital without me okay?”

“Maddie, Christopher wants to see his dad, I was going to leave as soon as we hung up so we could get there as soon as possible. I want to already be there when visiting hours start.” 

“Five minutes Evan. I know you are more than capable of taking care of Christopher on your own but I’m not doing anything anyway and I want to be there for you. Promise you’ll wait.” 

“I promise Maddie. Thanks. See you soon - seriously it better be soon!”

**

Eddie tapped his fingers against the sheets nervously. “Where’s Christopher?” He asked his abuela. He wanted to ask about Buck too but he didn’t want to see that knowing smile on Abuelita’s face when he did. 

“Evan said that Christopher didn’t want to visit until Evan was allowed to come in as well. Seems like that smart boy wants all three of you to be together really badly.”  _ I guess I can’t escape that look no matter what. Good lord Abuelita, where did you learn to do that? It’s like you see right through me.  _

Eddie cleared his throat. “That’s sweet. I’m glad he loves and trusts Buck so much, or this ordeal would probably be even worse for him.” He felt guilty again, knowing that without Abuelita or Buck, Christopher would be an absolute wreck. But from all accounts Buck was keeping him calm, and Eddie could only be grateful.  _ Well not only…there are some other feelings floating around in here too.  _ His abuela stroked his arm, comforting him. 

“You are both very lucky to have Evan. He would do anything for you two. And he is so good with Christopher. Don’t worry m’hijo, it’s only a little while longer before they can come. Do you want something to eat in the meantime? I can go talk to the nurse about some toast and juice.”

“That actually sounds great Abuelita, the nausea isn’t so bad right now so I should probably take advantage. Thank you.” After eating his light breakfast, Eddie felt okay. Not amazing, but at least he could keep it down. As long as he didn’t move his head too fast. Or jostle his broken arm. Or move much at all. 

He checked the time on the TV clock.  _ 8:59. They should be allowed to come in any second now.  _ His foot jiggled nervously and he tried to stop it so he wouldn’t feel too sick.  _ What did Buck tell Christopher? How much does he know? Is Christopher disappointed in me like Buck and Abuelita are? Shit I don’t think I could handle him being upset about this, I’m supposed to be a good role model for him…  _ Eddie looked up as he heard the door open. His heart skipped a beat as he saw Christopher, followed closely by Buck, entering the room. 

It was silent for a minute except for the sound of Christopher’s crutches as he approached Eddie’s bed. When he got there, he took a long look at Eddie, then turned to Buck. “Bucky, can you put me on the bed? I want to hug Daddy.” 

“Sure, sure buddy. Eddie, is that alright?”

“Of course,” said Eddie, about to cry at the sweetness in his son’s voice, and the fact that Buck felt he needed Eddie’s permission for this. “Just, put him on my right, the left is a little...bruised.” 

Buck hefted Christopher up and arranged him so Christopher could hold Eddie while Eddie held the boy. Christoper buried his face in Eddie’s chest. Eddie winced a bit as his kid squeezed his bruised ribs but he wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything in the world. He looked over at Buck, who had sat down in a chair next to the bed, and leaned forward towards Eddie and Christopher with his arms resting on his thighs. His face seemed a little wistful, though Eddie couldn’t figure out why. 

He and Buck then simultaneously noticed that Christopher was crying. Buck made a move towards Christopher, but hesitated. Eddie caught his eye and nodded, and Buck started rubbing Christopher's back while Eddie ran his hand through Christopher’s hair. “Shh buddy, it’s okay, I’m alright, I promise,” murmured Eddie, placing kisses all over his son’s face. 

“I-I know Daddy, Buck told me you were and he wouldn’t lie to me.” Eddie saw Buck swallow hard at those words and blink back tears. He was a bit confused.  _ Does he feel guilty because he told Christopher the whole truth? Or guilty because he didn’t tell him how I got hurt?  _

“I knew you were okay Daddy, but I was still worried. Now I get to see you and I’m not sure why I’m crying,” Christopher sniffled. 

“Hey buddy, that’s totally normal, I promise.” He shifted so he was looking at his son right in the eyes. “Sometimes our bodies and brains put our feelings completely away when we’re unsure what’s going on, and then when things are resolved our body has to let out all the stress. That’s why we cry when we’re relieved - the knowledge of what could have happened but didn’t suddenly hits us. It makes total sense that you need to cry now. Just lie back on my shoulder and cry as long as you need to, okay m’hijo? I love you so much.” 

“I love you too Daddy.” He snuggled back against Eddie. 

Eddie looked over at Buck. Not wanting to disturb Christopher, he mouthed, “How much did you tell him?”

Buck spoke out loud. “Christopher knows that you got hurt and you’re here mainly because of the head injury. He was so brave all morning, right buddy? You don’t have to hold in the fear anymore Christopher. Like your dad said, you’ve got to cry it out now.” Christopher turned and smiled at Buck through his tears. He reached out a hand and Buck moved a bit closer to hold it. Eddie smiled at the picture they must make, Christopher lying against him and holding Buck’s hand. It made him feel warm inside. He was going to have to talk to Christopher about his mistakes eventually, but right now he just wanted to savor this moment when they were all safe and together. The kid really knew what he was doing when he asked Buck to wait. 

His suspicion of the cuteness was confirmed when he realized Maddie had entered the room, and he thought he saw her snap a quick picture. Her face was the one people get when they look up cute puppy videos. Eddie blushed. Maddie smiled, and Buck followed Eddie’s gaze to see her in the doorway. But she put her finger over her lips as she backed up. “I’m just going to sit outside with Abuelita and wait for the others. Let you three have some...family time.” She smirked as the blush on Eddie’s face increased and Buck turned bright red. She softly closed the door, leaving their...family...together.  _ Hmm I like the sound of that.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's amazing to me sometimes the things that come from just a little daydreaming about this ship - like I had envisioned all of these scenes but the details that come out when I write it down are so unexpected. Anyway, hope you like this chapter! We'll probably have another chapter with Eddie in the hospital and then we'll move to the aftermath of this whole incident. Not sure when the love confessions will come but rest assured they will!


	5. Chapter 5

For a while after Maddie left, they all sat in silence, except for Christopher’s sniffles. Buck was kind of pissed at Maddie.  _ Even if she knows, but, like, how would she know? To say that in front of Eddie, what if it made him uncomfortable to think of us as a family? I mean, I want that...but what if Eddie doesn’t?  _ That thought hurt, so Buck drew himself out of his inner musings and back to the people he was with. He caught Eddie’s eye and blushed. Eddie was blushing too, but he didn’t seem all that uncomfortable. A smile smile played around Eddie’s lips.  _ Huh, maybe he...no couldn’t be. He doesn’t think of me that way.  _

“Hey Daddy, Bucky? I think I’m done crying now. Can I go see if the others are here yet?”

“Sure m’hijo,” replied Eddie. Buck helped Christopher out of the bed and handed him his crutches. The kid ambled out of the door. Maddie and Abuelita were in the chairs right down the hall, so Buck only watched Christopher until he made it to the end of the hall. He saw that Maddie had seen Christopher so he turned back to Eddie. “He’s good, he’s with Maddie and Abuelita.”

“Abuelita, Buck?” 

Buck blushed and grinned sheepishly. “Hey man, she told me I wasn’t allowed to call her anything else. Gotta respect her wishes right?” A look crossed Eddie’s face, sort of soft and tender, but disappeared before Buck could be sure. 

“Yeah, she's like that man, she takes all lost souls under her wings and all that.” Buck blushed again, and then so did Eddie. “Not - not that you’re a lost soul or anything, that’s not what I meant!” Eddie put his good hand over his face in embarrassment. “I just meant that she’s generous with her love when people deserve it, and Buck, you deserve it.” 

Buck blushed even harder but he said, “I know what you meant, man. It means a lot to me that she cares about me that way, even though we’ve only met a few times. I didn’t know any of my grandparents so it’s nice to have someone like her in my life.”

“Yeah she’s pretty amazing,” Eddie smiled. 

They lapsed into silence, both unsure what else to say. “Are you going to tell Christopher how you got hurt?” Buck asked. Eddie grimaced. “I think I’ve got to, don’t I? He’s a really perceptive kid, if you noticed my bruises at work then he definitely did at home. He never asked, which now that I think about it is kind of worrying? He would usually ask but he’s been so reserved since the tsunami, even with all the therapy…”

“Hey, Eddie man, it’s gonna be okay. He’s a tough kid. He just needs to know that it’s okay to worry about you, and you let him know that it was. I’m sure he’ll ask you about it later, but it might be better if you bring it up with him? I mean, if it was me I’d want to be told before I had to ask, ya know? But I’m not his dad, you should do what you think is best.”

“Is that why you didn’t tell him what happened Buck?”

“I mean, yeah. It’s not my place to tell him things you might not want him to know. I only told him what he needed to know to understand what happened and to reassure him you were okay. Everything else is your call.”

Eddie looked guilt stricken. Buck assumed it was because he was debating whether to tell Christopher about the fights. He was about to reassure Eddie that Christopher would understand. But Eddie opened his mouth to speak first, so Buck waited. 

But they were both interrupted by the door opening. Buck turned and saw Christopher, Maddie, and Abuelita come in. Right behind them were Bobby, Athena, Hen, Karen, and Chimney. 

Eddie’s face lit up. Man, Buck loved seeing that face on Eddie.  _ Shit man, keep it together! _

Everyone gathered around the bed to talk to Eddie and teasingly berated him for ending up in the hospital. Everyone was happy-go-lucky and chatty, now that they knew Eddie was going to be okay. Buck took in the scene with a smile but stood a little apart from the rest of the crew. Something suddenly twisted in his chest and he knew he needed some space. “Hey everyone, I’m going to go hunt down some coffee and snacks, anyone interested.” There was a chorus of yes pleases and his phone chimed with everyone’s coffee preferences. He forced a laugh. “You guys are ruthless. I’ll be back in a bit.” Both Bobby and Maddie were looking at him funny but he ignored it. 

He stepped out of the room and into the hall. He walked a bit until he heard the door to Eddie’s room close. Then he let out a huge sigh and leaned against the wall.  _ Shit, he’s okay. He’s really okay. He’s up and talking and coherent…  _ Buck slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor and buried his head in his hands. He didn’t want to cry in the middle of the hospital hallway but he couldn’t seem to help himself.  _ You’d have thought I got all this out, between last night and the shower this morning. How do I still have tears?  _ But he did remember what Eddie had told Christopher. He knew he needed to feel these things. He just wished they’d waited for a more convenient time, not when everyone he loved was gathered so close by.  _ If it wasn’t for the fact that I want to be near Eddie, I would seriously just go home. I want my bed.  _

He sat there for a few minutes to let the worst of the sobs out. Suddenly he heard a door open and the voices from Eddie’s room got a bit louder for a second. He panicked and quickly wiped his face. He looked up to see Bobby coming towards him. He ducked his head, trying to make it less obvious that he had been crying. Bobby didn’t say anything, he just sat down next to Buck. After a minute, he put his arm around Buck’s shoulders. Buck resisted for a second, but then leaned into Bobby’s shoulder and let go. Bobby rubbed circles on his arm. “That’s right Buck, let it out kid. He’s okay, you’re okay, Christopher’s okay. Let it go now.” He continued murmuring comforting words while Buck cried himself out. 

After a couple of minutes the door opened again and he hear Athena’s voice. “Oh you poor boy.” She sat down on his other side and wrapped her arms around them. Buck let himself cry in their embrace for a little longer. 

When he felt he could take control of himself, he sat up. “Wanna talk about it Buckaroo?” Athena asked? 

“I’m just overwhelmed,” said Buck. “I was expecting to just decompress with my friend after a bad day. And then he was hurt and there was so much blood and he was so out of it...and they didn’t let me stay with him...so I had to be in charge of Christopher, like who thought it was a good idea for me to be the one to tell the kid his dad’s in the hospital? Then I couldn’t be worried because I couldn’t worry Christopher but I was so scared we would come here and he’d be in like a coma or something? What would I have told Christopher then? And then we got here and he was okay, he was really mostly fine, just banged up pretty bad, and he was awake and making sense and comforting Christopher and I just-” Buck broke off as he heard the pitch of his voice rise and felt his eyes tear up again. 

Bobby hugged him again and Athena squeezed his shoulder. “Of course you’re overwhelmed kid,” Athena said. “You’ve been through hell worrying about the people you love. It’s an overwhelming situation, and you’ve handled it so admirably. Eddie’s grandmother was just telling me how grateful she was that you were able to take Christopher, that the kid had someone he trusted to be there so she could be here for Eddie.” 

Buck looked up at Athena. “She really said that?” He asked. 

“She knows that if she or Eddie couldn’t be there that you would take care of Christopher like they would, like he was yours,” said Bobby. “They know you love that boy like he’s yours.”

Buck swallowed hard. “He’s pretty hard to not to love. Christopher. He’s just, amazing. I’m always astounded by him. I wish...nevermind.”

“What were you gonna say kiddo?” 

“It’s nothing Bobby, just thinking out loud.”

Bobby gave him a knowing look. “Does Eddie know how much you care about him?”

“About Christopher? I mean he told me he trusts me with him so I assume he’s realized to some extent.” 

“No Buck, does Eddie know how you feel about Eddie?”

Buck froze, then looked frantically from Bobby to Athena. Then he sighed. “Is it that obvious?”

Athena grinned. “Only to your family Buckaroo. We know you too well.”

**

Eddie was touched that everyone had taken off today to come and see him. He also felt guilty, seeing as it was entirely his fault that he was in this situation and they really shouldn’t have gone out of their way. Bobby, Athena, and Buck weren’t in the room but he voiced that thought to Hen and Karen, and Maddie and Chimney. 

“Nonsense man,” said Chimney. “You’re family, and we needed to see you. Right Christopher?” Christopher grinned and met Chim’s fist bump. 

“Yeah don’t be an idiot Eddie, of course we’re gonna be here for you. You’re part of the team,” said Hen firmly, and Karen nodded. 

“Chris and Denny have gotten real close, you guys are basically family,” Karen added. “We’re here for you.” She smiled and ruffled Christopher’s hair. 

Suddenly Eddie said “Buck’s taking a real long time with the coffee, does someone wanna call him and see if he needs help?”

The other adults in the room exchanged knowing glances, but Hen took out her phone. “I’ll text him...one sec...he said it’s all good, Bobby and Athena came with him. They’ll be back in a few with everyone’s orders completely right...ha ha...and donuts! Yes!” Hen pumped a fist in the air then high fived Christopher. He giggled and she started tickling him. Eddie looked on fondly.  _ It’s still a little weird that it’s taking so long, isn't it? No one else seems too worried though.  _

Just then Buck, along with Bobby and Athena, came through the door. “We come bearing gifts!” Hen and Chim whooped and went straight for the donuts. Eddie winced at the loud noise but didn’t complain. Buck looked at him sharply though, as though he knew he was in pain. Eddie just smiled and shrugged. He noticed Buck’s eyes were a little puffy. He doubted anyone else could tell, but... _ had Buck been crying? Did something else happen? Maddie is here, so she’s okay...what’s upset him so much?  _

Eddie tilts his head in a question but Buck sent the smile and shrug right back. Then Buck sat in the corner, as far away from Eddie as possible. That stung a little, but Eddie reasoned that the others were just taking up too much space. He was about to mention something about quiet when the doctor walked it.

“Well hello everyone. You’re very lucky to have such good friends and family Mr. Diaz. Now, if we could send everyone out for a minute, I can give you an update on your status.”

Normally Eddie would have argued that they could stay, but his head was kind of pounding from all the excitement and he could use the quiet. “Buck,” he said, just as the other man was leaving. “Can you stay?” Buck looked at him oddly, like he couldn’t figure Eddie out. “I-I mean, in case I’m not understanding something the doctor says or whatever? I’m concussed, it’s good to have an extra pair of ears around, right doc?”

“If you’re comfortable with Mr. Buckley knowing your medical information then that’s alright from my perspective.”

“Great, thanks, c’mere Buck.”

Buck came to sit in the chair directly next to his bed. Eddie hesitated a minute, then reached out his hand. Buck looked surprised, but took it with his own. Eddie squeezed and whispered, “Thanks Buck.” He didn’t let go of Buck’s hand.

“Well Mr. Diaz, as you know the initial CT scan did show some brain swelling, though thankfully not as bad as we had feared, based on your disorientation. We’re going to send you for another scan later this morning to check up on it. I’m going to put you through the other concussion tests now in the meantime. If you pass and the scan is clear, I think you can be discharged this evening.”

Eddie felt Bucks hand tighten around him. Eddie was pretty happy with that news himself. 

“Before you get too excited Mr. Diaz, I do have to tell you that you will need someone to supervise you for the next couple of days, even if the scans are clear. Sometimes symptoms can flare up. So I can’t in good conscious discharge you without knowing you’ll have a caretaker for about a week.”

At this, Eddie stole a quick glance at Buck, who was listening intently to the doctor.  _ I can’t ask that of him, can I? _

“Also,” continued the doctor, “you’ll need to limit the amount of activity you do that requires focus and concentration for a few weeks. And of course you can’t work until that arm heals.”

Eddie nodded. “I think I got all that doc, thanks.” 

“You’re very welcome Mr. Diaz. Work on finding that person or people to keep an eye on you. From the looks of things you should have plenty, so I’m very optimistic about discharging you today. Now Mr. Buckley, I’m sorry but I’m going to ask you to leave for the concussion tests, if that’s alright with you Mr. Diaz? It’s best if we can have as simple and quiet an atmosphere as possible.”

Buck looked questioningly at Eddie. Eddie squeezed his hand again then let go. “I’m alright Buck. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

Buck looked like he’d rather not leave. _ I’d rather he didn’t leave. Damn it Eddie can’t you spend two minutes away from the guy? Man you’ve got it bad. _

Buck moved slowly as he made his way towards the door. He turned back with a glance at Eddie, and looked like he was about to say something. But instead he stepped outside to wait with everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this story has really got its hooks in me. Hope y’all are enjoying reading as much as I’m enjoying writing!


	6. Chapter 6

Buck broke the news to everyone outside that it looked like Eddie would be able to leave by the end of the day. Everyone was ecstatic to hear that. 

“But he’s going to need someone to watch him all the time for a week or so, we’re going to have to figure that out.”

Bobby spoke up first. “Well what about Carla, Buck? She’s a home caretaker, Eddie could hire her for the days when you’re on shift. I mean, I assume, you were going to volunteer when you were free, but I can’t juggle the schedule around if both of you are out.” 

Buck cleared his throat. “Yeah Cap, no I get it. When I’m not on night shift I’m happy to keep an eye on Eddie.” He looked at Abuelita for confirmation, and she smiled approvingly. 

Then she said, “As long as Carla is there during the day, I can take the night watch when you’re working, querido.” Buck smiled gratefully at her, and then ducked his head at the endearment. 

Then he turned to Christopher. “All that sound good Buddy?” 

“Can’t I stay home to watch Daddy? I know Carla is a grown-up, but I can do it! That way Daddy doesn’t have to pay her.”

Buck chuckled at the boy’s eagerness. “That’s really thoughtful of you Christopher, but tomorrow’s Monday and you’ve got to go to school. It’s really important for you to go to school, and I know for a fact that your dad wouldn’t want you to miss it just to take care of him.” 

“But Daddy is more important than school Buck!” Christopher seemed to be getting really agitated, so Buck pulled him off to the side and sat down so they would be at eye level.

“Hey buddy, what’s going on? I know you love school, and you know your dad’s okay right? He needs some supervision but he doesn’t really need taking care of.” 

“But it should be his family Bucky. If you and Abuelita are at work then I’m the next family member!” Buck was unsure how to respond, and stayed silent for a minute. 

Then he said, “Listen, Christopher, I get it. You can ask your dad, but I’m pretty sure he would rather you go to school. There’s not much to do at home with him and he wants you to learn and see your friends. You know I’m right don’t you?”

“I know Bucky. It’s just...I don’t want to be away from Daddy until he’s better.” Buck drew Christopher into his arms for a big hug. 

“That makes a lot of sense buddy. But he’s going to be okay even if you’re at school for a few hours every day, I promise, okay?”

“Okay Bucky.” 

Bobby and Maddie came over to where they were sitting. “Hey Evan,” said Maddie, “I’ve got an appointment to get to, but you’ll call if you need me right?” 

“Of course Maddie, thanks. And don’t think you’ve gotten out of telling me what’s going on with you. I’m going to make you spill everything at dinner this week!” Maddie smiled, though it looked a bit strained.

She bent down to kiss Christopher’s head. “See you soon kiddo, okay?” 

“Bye Maddie!” said Christopher. She walked over to Chim, gave him a quick kiss goodbye, then waved to everyone else and walked out of the waiting room. 

Bobby was still standing there. “What’s up Bobby?” Buck asked. “Listen kid, I managed things so that we could be here for a little while but to make sure we have fresh people on every shift I’m gonna need us all to go back now…”

“No problem Bobby. We’re good here. I think Eddie really appreciated you all here but the quiet is probably better for him for the rest of the day.”

“That’s what we thought too. Thanks for understanding kid. We’ll see you later.”

Hen and Karen came over and gave both Buck and Christopher big hugs, as did Chimney. Then suddenly, it was just Abuelita, Buck, and Christopher, waiting outside to hear what the doctor was going to say. Buck wondered if he should leave too, and let it just be family. _ But I know Christopher wants me here. And honestly, I want to be here too. Holding Eddie’s hand earlier, that just felt...right. Like I’m meant to be a part of this family. _ Buck sighed. _ Don’t get carried away dude. It was just a comfort thing. You aren’t actually his boyfriend or anything. _

They sat in silence for a little while, Buck and Abuelita dozing a bit to make up for the sleep they missed last night. Christopher seemed content with the video games on Buck’s phone for now, though Buck wasn’t sure how long that would last. 

After about half an hour they looked up to see the doctor coming towards them. He was smiling, which lifted Buck’s spirits a little. “Well, Mrs. Diaz, Mr. Buckley, Mr. Diaz,” he said, looking at each of them in turn. “The patient wanted me to tell you all that he has passed all of the concussion tests. They are taking him right now for another CT to confirm. After, we’ll probably keep him for a couple more hours just to make certain he’s okay, and then we can discharge him. That is, of course, if you have figured out who will observe him?” 

Buck looked at Abuelita, but she gestured for him to speak. “Thanks doctor, that’s really good to hear. For today his family will be home with him, and we’re going to call a friend of ours who is a home caretaker and work out a schedule for the rest of the week.” 

“That sounds like an excellent plan,” said the doctor. “I’ll start filling out the paperwork so that we can get things moving after the scan.” He started to walk away, but turned back for a moment. He glanced at Christopher before speaking, who was absorbed in his game. The doctor spoke to Buck and Abuelita softly anyway.

“I’ve already said this to Mr. Diaz, but he was very lucky. His injuries could have had many more complications than they do. I know he’s a firefighter, but he definitely needs to take it very easy for a few weeks, and he should be more careful about his personal safety when it comes to the job. I’m hoping hearing it from a doctor will make him take it seriously, but a little reinforcement from his family wouldn’t hurt.”

Buck nodded, and looked at Abuelita who was also making sounds of agreement. Buck stuck out his hand and shook the doctor’s. “Thank you so much for everything doctor, we really appreciate it.”

**

After being poked and prodded and screened and tested, Eddie was more than ready to go home. So when the nurse came in to unhook him from the machines, he was feeling a little giddy. _ Of course, that could be from the painkillers. Or the fact that Buck has been in that chair next to me all day long… _

Finally, finally, he was completely unhooked from all the IVs and machines. He signed some papers and the nurse helped him into a wheelchair. Abuelita had left so she could meet them at the house. When they got outside, Buck first helped Christopher into the back of his Jeep. Then he looked at Eddie. “You gonna need a hand man?” He asked. 

“Just getting out of the chair, I think, here give me your arm.” Buck reached out his arm and Eddie grabbed on for leverage. He managed to use Buck’s arm to get out of the chair, and Buck walked with him and helped him climb into the passenger seat. Eddie leaned his head back against the headrest. _ Shit that short trip really took a lot out of me. It’s going to be a long week. And boring, according to the doctor’s instructions. _

That had been a bit of an awkward conversation, Eddie recalled as they began the drive home. The doctor had given him a list of things not to do, like play video games, watch too much TV, or even text or read if that started to make his symptoms worse. And no physical exertion. Of course the broken arm made work a non-option, but the doctor had ruled out any gym or cardio for a least a couple of weeks, and then he was to start slow and work his way back. Which was going to be hell. At that point in the conversation Christopher had started to get restless, so Buck had taken him to get a snack. _ Which, I mean, gracia a Dios _ . Because the doctor had continued with the list of things Eddie couldn’t do. And he glanced at the door Buck had just walked out of, then looked back at Eddie and cleared his throat. “And Mr. Diaz, you should let your boyfriend know, you shouldn’t have sex for at least two weeks. No activities that will get your heart rate up too high, okay? It could trigger your symptoms.” Eddie had blushed, hard. He didn’t realize he had been acting that obvious to the doctor. _ But...is Buck acting the same way? Why does he think we’re together? _

The doctor had given him a knowing grin, and finished with his lecture on resting being the only treatment for a concussion. 

Eddie was jerked back to the present when he realized they were back at home. Buck looked over at him with a questioning face, and Eddie said, “I think I’ll need some help getting in the house, get Christopher out of the car first.” Buck still looked a little confused, and Eddie realized he was probably blushing from remembering the doctor’s assumption. But after a minute Buck ran and unlocked the door to the house, helped Chris out of the car, and then came around to help Eddie. 

He probably didn’t need to lean on Buck as much as he did on the way to the house. _ Classic move Diaz, playing the damsel in distress. Could you get any more cliché? _

Buck took him all the way to the living room and arranged him on the couch. “You comfortable man?” he asked. 

“I’m good for now. I’m probably going to want my shower and bed in a little bit, but for now here is good.” He noticed that Buck was a little flushed. _ Probably just the exertion of carrying me, but...I wonder. _Buck was still looking at him, so he leaned his head back and groaned, “God, I’m so looking forward to a shower.” He opened his eyes to see Buck’s face bright red. 

Eddie lifted one eyebrow and was about to say something - he wasn’t yet sure what - but Buck cleared his throat, looked away, and called Christopher. “Hey buddy I’m going to make dinner, how does mac n’ cheese sound?” Eddie heard a cheer from Christopher’s room and smiled at Buck. Buck had a tender smile on his face too, and said “Man that kid is great.” 

“Yeah he is pretty awesome, isn't he?” The two of them stayed there for a second, smiling at each other. Eddie hoped Buck was feeling what he was feeling, complete contentment that they were all together. 

Just then the front door opened again, and both of them cleared their throats and turned to look as Abuelita walked in, bags of groceries in hand. “I heard Evan was going to make mac n’ cheese, so I brought the ingredients, as well as some meat for a little protein. Come Evan, let's go start cooking. Are you feeling alright m’hijo?” she asked Eddie. 

“I’m good Abuelita. I’m just going to rest here until dinner is ready.” He leaned back and closed his eyes and was soon fast asleep.

**

It turned out that Buck really liked cooking with Abuelita. When he was visiting Eddie and Christopher they would usually take turns cooking. But now he and Abuelita were cooking together, and he really liked the camaraderie that came with it. Abuelita had put on some of her favorite music and was dancing and singing as she cooked. Buck didn’t know the words but he hummed along and moved his body to the beat. It was nice. 

Christopher had eventually wandered in after hearing the music, and Abuelita had put him to work chopping vegetables. “This meat needs some pico de gallo to go with it, and I’m going to teach you both my recipe. Cut those tomatoes into big chunks Christopher, and the onion into smaller ones.” 

“Okay Abuelita!” She smiled and ruffled his hair before turning back to the stove. 

They worked for a while and soon all the food was almost ready. Christopher had started singing with Abuelita - apparently he knew the words - and Abuelita had started teaching Buck the correct way to dance to this music. He was moving and laughing as she spun him around. He stopped facing the doorway to see Eddie leaning against the frame, smiling that soft smile of his. _ Jesus Buck could you be any more sappy. _ He locked eyes with Eddie and the look in Eddie’s eyes turned a little...heated? _ Must be imagining things. _

“C’mon Evan m’hijo, you’ve got to move your hips more than that!” 

“Yeah Buck, you’ve got to shake your hips,” said Eddie. Buck snapped his face to look at him and saw him smirking. He blushed and said, “Oh you wanna see hip movement, you two? I’ll show you.” He grabbed Christopher by the arms and pulled him into a dance where he tried - he really really tried - to shake his hips. Abuelita was laughing and calling out more advice. Eddie was making fun of him as well, but the look on his face was a bit funny. _ That heat again...I must be projecting. _

Eventually Christopher collapsed into giggles, effectively ending the dance. Buck dropped into the seat next to him, also laughing. “Dinner’s ready!” said Abuelita. “Evan come help me bring the food. Christopher please set the table quickly. Eddie, querido, sit down before you fall.”

They all followed Abuelita’s instructions and were soon sitting around the table together. Buck looked around. Despite the circumstances that had precipitated this dinner, he was glad to be here. He felt safe and warm and loved by the people around him. Like he belonged with them, like this. He caught Eddie’s gaze and somehow knew that Eddie was thinking the same thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been a bit since the last chapter, real world responsibilities did actually interfere as expected. Updates probably won’t be as frequent as they were but I’m still going to continue! 
> 
> Also, fair warning, there is *smut* at the end. I didn’t up the rating because it’s not super explicit, though I’m still thinking about changing it, especially if I write more as the story progresses. (Also it’s my first time writing smut so please take pity on me.) Skip the last like six (?) paragraphs if it’s not your cup of tea! 
> 
> As always I love to hear your feedback and really hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> ALSO song credits is “Friends Don’t” by Maddie & Tae. Because it’s perfect for this relationship.

Eventually the day caught up with Christopher, and Eddie saw him yawning at the table as they were finishing the meal. He looked at his abuela who nodded and said to Christopher, “Come, mi bisnieto, I think it’s time I tuck you into bed.” She picked up the sleepy Christopher and carried him down the hall.

Eddie noticed that Buck was suddenly a little fidgety, and saw the other man get up and start clearing the table. 

“You don’t have to do that Buck. You look just as exhausted as Christopher.” 

“No it’s fine, I don’t want to leave it for you guys for later. I’m happy to put the food away and wash the dishes.” 

“Alright well at least let me help then.” 

“Eddie you’re currently one-handed and must have a monster of a headache.”

“Nah,” said Eddie, “The painkillers are actually working right now. How about I put away the leftovers while you wash the dishes?”

Buck nodded and got started. They worked in companionable silence. There wasn’t actually much to clean, so they were done quickly. 

Buck cleared his throat. “Well, I’m just going to go say goodnight to Christopher before he falls asleep, if that’s cool?” 

“Of course man, he’ll want to see you before he conks out.”

Eddie watched Buck pad down the hall to Christopher’s room, where he could hear Abuelita singing a lullaby. It broke off when Buck knocked and he heard soft voices murmuring.  _ My family. _ The thought popped, unbidden, into Eddie’s head. He shook it off and followed the voices to see Christopher.

They all looked up when Eddie entered the room. Christopher smiled his angelic smile. “Hey m’hijo, I came to say goodnight. You all good?” 

“I’m alright Daddy. Abuelita said she would stay until I fell asleep so I wouldn’t get nightmares.” Eddie’s heart squeezed and he leaned down to give Christopher a kiss. 

“I love you buddy. Sleep well, okay?” 

“Love you Daddy. Love you my Buck.” Buck’s face mirrored Eddie’s feelings from a moment ago. Heart strangling love for the little boy. 

Eddie hadn’t quite realized it before the tsunami, but the events of that day had made it clear that his son had totally fallen in love with Buck. Like he was his parent.  _ Like father like son I guess. _

It seemed the feeling was mutual, even if Buck hadn’t quite realized it yet. 

Eddie and Buck made their way back down the hall toward the living room. “Um, I guess...I guess I should get going then. Shift in the morning and all, gotta get some sleep,” said Buck.

Eddie’s heart dropped with a bit of disappointment as he thought of Buck leaving. Then, he remembered Buck;s reaction when he had mentioned showering, he had a brilliant idea to get him to stay just a little while longer.

“Hey Buck, listen, I really need to shower, between the street and the hospital I’m pretty gross.” Buck looked a bit confused and apprehensive but Eddie continued. “I think I’ll be fine but if I fall or something I don’t really want my abuela to be the one to pick my naked ass off the floor, ya know?” 

Eddie saw Buck swallow hard and he inwardly smirked. “Anyway, would you mind just sitting in the bathroom while I shower, just as a precaution? Also this way I don’t have to wait until Christopher is asleep and Abuelita can help me.”

Buck just stared at him, his mouth opening and closing like he was trying to speak but couldn’t find the words. Eddie found it hilariously endearing. He snapped his fingers in front of Buck’s face. “Hello, dude, you with me? Help a guy out?”

Buck choked a little bit, but managed to get out, “Ye-Yeah man, sure.”

“Great, give me a minute to get in, I’ll leave the door unlocked. Just, like, sit with your phone for a couple minutes, the shower won’t take long, I’m too tired.” Without looking back Eddie made his way towards his bathroom.

He quickly stripped off his torn and bloody clothes and threw them in the hamper. He turned the knobs in the shower so the water would be as hot as he could stand. When it was warm enough, he stepped in, calling out to Buck, “All clear.” And heard the door open and close as Buck came in.

It felt really nice to shower. For a minute he just forgot everything else and just stood under the hot spray. Letting it wash away the dirt. The blood. The pain. After a few minutes, worried he might actually fall asleep in the shower, he grabbed the soap and began to wash up. He did as best as he could one handed. 

The water was starting to cool off so he shut it and stuck his hand out of the curtain. “Hey man, can you pass me that green towel.” He heard Buck stumble around a bit and grinned. The towel hit his hand and he dried himself off before wrapping it around his waist and pulling back the curtain.

He had halfway expected Buck to have dashed out after handing him the towel, but he was still in the bathroom. Frozen. Staring at Eddie.

Eddie raises one eyebrow and Buck sheepishly looked away. “I-I’ll just...go home now?” He said, his voice a little strangled. 

“Sure man, I’m good now. Let me walk you out.”

“Naw Eddie you should go to bed, I’ll be fine.” 

“I’m going to walk you to the door Buck, stop arguing.”

Buck blushed and grinned and opened the bathroom door to let them both out. “By the way dude that water must’ve been burning hot, the entire room is filled with a ton of steam!” 

Eddie laughed. “Listen man there’s a lot of bruises and sore muscles!” 

He saw Buck look down at Eddie’s still bare, still wet chest. At first there was just heat in his eyes.  _ Dios that’s a really hot look. _ But then it changed to one of concern and Eddie realized Buck was looking at the bruising all over his side. 

Buck brought his eyes back to Eddie’s full of concern. Eddie reached out his arm and put it on Buck’s shoulder, right in the crease of his neck. Like that day, only a few weeks ago.  _ There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you. No one I trust more with me, with my family.  _

“Buck, man, I’m okay, I promise.” He looked straight into the other man’s eyes. “This will heal, I’m gonna heal, and we’re all going to get through this. This and everything else,” he added, knowing the trauma of the tsunami still wasn’t far enough behind them. He pulled Buck in for a hug. 

Buck was careful of his injuries but still held Eddie tight. He leaned his head in the crook of Eddie neck and Eddie mirrored his best friend. They stood there for a minute.  _ This feels so right. How can something feel so simple and so profound?  _

Buck pulled away first. Eddie noticed he was looking a little uncomfortable but the expression quickly faded as Buck opened the door and waved goodbye. Despite the fact that he was still only in a towel, Eddie leaned against the doorpost and watched as Buck got into the car and drove away. 

**

Buck drove home with his head spinning, trying to process all the emotions of the day. 

Sitting in the bathroom during Eddie’s shower had been...excruciating. He spent the whole time on his phone looking up pictures of puppies in an attempt not to think about his best friend. Naked. In the shower. The hot shower.  _ The hot, wet shower. Like two feet away from me. And then he came out and the water was just...dripping. Rolling down his hair and neck and chest...and oh god man you’ve got it bad.  _

He really should think about something else, since getting hard in his car probably wasn’t the best idea. He did have neighbors. 

He quickly turned on the radio to try and distract himself. It seems that Maddie had been the last one to tune the radio, because it was a country station.  _ I can’t believe she likes country music. That girl is such a rural Pennsylvania cliché. _ He was going to change the station when he picked up on the lyrics of the song that had just started.

_ “They don't cancel other plans/Have conversations with nothing but their eyes/They don't hear each other's names and forget to concentrate/Hits a nerve and lights you up like dynamite./ _

_ Friends don't call you in the middle of the night/Couldn't even tell you why/They just felt like saying "hi"/Friends don't stand around, playing with their keys/Finding reasons not to leave/Trying to hide the chemistry/Drive a little too slow, take the long way home/ Get a little too close/We do, but friends don't” _

Well shit. The universe was really screwing with him. He’d heard this song before but never paid too much attention. 

_ “They don't almost say "I love you"/When they're downtown somewhere, just a little drunk/They don't talk about the future and put each other in it/And get chills with every accidental touch.” _

It was like the song was written about how felt. Buck had never been that cheesy dude who heard his life story in every dramatic song, but this was literally describing his life. Except, to Eddie, they  _ were _ just friends. And Buck didn’t want to screw with that.

_ “I keep telling myself this might be nothing/But one look in your eyes and, God, there's something/You can lie to me and say you don't/But I know you do, and I love you too.” _

Well that part wasn’t quite accurate. He knew his feelings for Eddie but the other man’s were a mystery. 

He pulled up in front of his apartment building and turned off his car. He kicked his head back into the seat and sighed hard.  _ Shake it off Buckley. He’s your best friend, and his son loves you. That’s enough. It has to be enough. _

He pushed himself out of the car and made his way into the building. Up the stairs. Into his apartment. He tossed his keys and wallet on the entry table and walked up his loft, stripping off his clothes as he went. 

All he wanted to do was get into bed. But despite the shower this morning -  _ God was that this morning? It feels like forever ago  _ \- he felt grimy and gross from the hospital and seriously needed to rinse off. 

He turned on the water on autopilot and finished undressing. He was about to step in when the steam fogging the room reminded him of a different shower. One that had occurred less than twenty minutes ago. When his best friend, the one he was in goddamn love with, was on the other side of curtain.  _ Shit. Just get in the shower Buckley. _

It wasn’t like that was the first time he’d seen Eddie coming out of a shower. The team changed around each other all the time. The showers at the station were private but no one was overly modest about coming and going from them. Sure, common courtesy was not to  _ stare _ at your teammates when they were getting dressed or undressed.  _ And I only  _ might _ have snuck a couple of glances… _ But everyone had seen a lot of everyone else and no one was particularly prudish about it. It was part of the life.

But seeing Eddie at home, in his own shower, dripping wet? That was doing something to Buck. And since he was in his own apartment, thank you very much, in his own shower, he decided to not overthink it. Or rather, not to over-analyze. There were going to be thoughts. Lots of thoughts.

He was so tired but he could feel the tension in his body. He knew between the tsunami nightmares and now the hurt Eddie situation his mind would be whirling for hours unless he did something to relax. To release. 

_ You should finish your shower and go look up some porn in bed. You’ll get off quickly and be able to just fall asleep. _

But he was already hard, and he didn’t want to watch some strangers fuck. That wasn’t going to do it for him tonight, and he would never fall asleep if he stayed this frustrated. So he allowed his hand to slide down his body as he stood under the hot spray. 

He imagined Eddie. He started with that gorgeous image of him pulling back the shower curtain in the steamy bathroom.  _ Except this time, he isn’t wearing a towel. And he doesn’t step out of the shower. It’s still running. And look he’s giving me. Invitation. Heat. A little bit of sheepishness. “Hey man, I’ve been trying to get off but I’m having some trouble.” I drag my eyes down his body, his gorgeous body, and can’t miss that dick. The huge, hard dick. With Eddie’s hand still on it. “Well we can’t have that can we?” I say with a grin, and quickly take off all my clothes. I’m in the shower with him. I back him up against the tile and kiss him. We’re kissing, our hands are wandering all over each other’s bodies. Our hips grind together in the most perfect rhythm. He spins us so now I’m the one with my back to the wall and grinds harder into me. It’s just our dicks rubbing together but god it feels so good. We move faster and harder and faster and - _

Buck came with a strangled gasp. He leaned his forehead against the wall and kept jerking himself through the orgasm, unable to do much more than that. 

He then rinsed himself clean and shut off the shower. He dried off and brushed his teeth at the same time, then turned off all of the lights and dropped into his bed. He lay on his stomach for a minute. 

Then he curled up on his side and hugged his arms around himself. Wishing they were Eddie’s arms. Heart hurting from the force of the want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🙈🙈🙈🙈  
Sorry for the sad end but crushes be like that right? One minute you’re high on just being in the persons presence and the next your crashing when you realize you aren’t actually together.  
And, okay so Buck’s fantasies are like a bad porn clip. Can you blame the dude? Asking your best friend to stay in the room while you shower - is there any more transparent of an excuse. I bet if Eddie hadn’t been beat up and dead in his feet he’d have worked up the guts to get Buck in the shower with him. (Also if Abuelita hadn’t been there...). Like I said, crushes man. They make people do dumb shit.  
Comment and freak out about this couple with me!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in two days? Who am I? Featuring our adorable idiots getting some actual mental health help because the show hasn't been good about that. 
> 
> Therapy is really important kids! Find someone who you feel comfortable and can be honest with, because everyone's got shit to work through and it helps to have someone who know's what they're doing. Trust me on this one babes.

Eddie felt like he wanted to jump out of his skin. It had been a week. A friggin week of alternating between the couch and the kitchen table and his bed. Of being woken up every few hours to make sure the concussion wasn’t getting worse. 

He just wanted a full night’s sleep and to go into work in the morning. Or at least just leave the house, and go do something. Anything. 

He was so grateful to Buck, Abuelita, and Carla. They were putting up with all of his grumpiness and doing their best to keep him entertained at home. But he had a serious case of cabin fever. At least he had a doctor’s appointment today, so that would get him out of the house.  _ And I still haven’t had a real conversation with Christopher. Or Buck for that matter.  _

As soon as Carla had found out the situation, she chewed him out for being so stupid and then gave him a firm hug. She never brought it up again, and as much as he loved Carla he didn’t think he could work through all his reasons for going to the fights with her. He should probably get a therapist. He did suddenly have lots of free time over the next few weeks. 

Carla walked into the living room where he was sitting on the couch brooding. “Hiya handsome. Buck just called and said he that has the afternoon off so he’s going to pick you up and take you to the doctor.” 

“Sounds good Carla. Thank you so much for everything. You should take the afternoon off too, do something fun. I’ll let you know what the doctor says later.”

She bundled over and gave Eddie a kiss on his forehead. “Alright sweetie pie, I’ll pack up my stuff and walk you out when Buck arrives.” She helped Eddie off the couch so he could get dressed. 

He was dozing on the couch again when he heard the door knock and Carla open it. “Well hello there Buckaroo, how are you today?” she asked. Eddie heard them chatting as they walked into the living room. 

“Hey man,” said Buck. “Ready to go?”

“Oh am I ever. I am so ready to get out of this house.” Buck and Carla chuckled. Between the three of them they managed to get Eddie into Buck’s Jeep. “Why are they so high off the ground?” Eddie complained. “How is anyone supposed to get in with one hand?” 

Buck grinned. “I don’t think the designers at Jeep were really thinking of that. Car corporations aren’t exactly known for their accessibility features.” Eddie grumbled some more but eventually fell silent as they drove. 

Buck had the radio on and seemed content to drive without the need for conversation. But Eddie felt awkward. In general, he was comfortable sitting in silence with Buck. But now he felt like he had so much to explain and didn’t know how to begin. 

“Listen, Buck…” he started. 

“Yeah Eds, what’s up?” Buck responded casually. Eddie tried to work up the nerve to start this conversation, but found he couldn’t. So he opted for talking about Buck instead. “How have you been, man? I know you were going through a lot before all this happened.” Eddie gestured towards himself as he spoke. 

Buck smiled. “Who me, going through a lot? Nah the lawsuit was just for kicks, not like I was lashing out or anything,” continued, though he looked a little nervous now. Eddie turned to face him. 

“Is that what is was Buck? I know you told me a little before, how you felt so much anger and had nothing to do with all of it. Is that it?”

Buck rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s part of it. Like, I've been seeing this therapist, right? She’s pretty awesome actually. And we’ve been working through the stuff that lead up to all of it. So I’m doing a lot better.”

Eddie clapped Buck’s shoulder. “I’m really glad to hear you’re seeing someone about it man. It’s good for you.” He was going to say more, he wanted to hear more, but they had reached the doctor’s office. 

“Do you want me to wait in the car or help you get inside?” Buck asked. 

Eddie looked at him. “Come with me dude.”  _ Mi amor, I want you with me _ . “Two heads are better than one, especially when one is concussed, right?” 

“You’re probably not still concussed Eddie.” 

“I know but can’t hurt, right? C’mon man I want you with me.”

Buck nodded and they walked inside together. Eddie went to a primary care practice that worked with veterans, and it was actually a really great clinic. Since it was a random Friday afternoon there weren’t that many people around and the doctor saw them soon after Eddie checked in. 

Buck stayed in the waiting room while the doctor did Eddie’s physical and mental tests. Eddie would have asked him to come but his doctor had a pretty strict policy about people in the room. Something about medical privacy and making sure her patients would be able to talk to her about anything. 

But when they sat down to talk he insisted that Buck was allowed in the room. The doctor smiled at the determination in his voice and said, “Of course Mr. Diaz. Partners are allowed when I’m giving you information as long as you are okay with it. I’ll go get him.” Eddie blushed but didn’t correct her assumption. Buck came in and sat in the chair next to Eddie, across from the doctor.

“Well Mr. Diaz,” she began, “I must say I’m incredibly pleased with your progress in such a short time. Looking at your CT scans from the hospital, it seems that the brain swelling was minimal, so I think you are well on the road to recovery.” Eddie breathed a sigh of relief and reached out his hand to Buck. It took a second of surprise and confusion but Buck took his hand and squeezed. They smiled at each other while the doctor continued.

“I think another week of observation by your family is called for, but we can forgo some of the stricter measures like frequent wakeups and no activity. Some light excursions - nothing to strenuous, mind you - should help you start building back up to normal brain function. But you should still limit it and pay attention to your body. If any symptoms occur you need to let me know so we can reevaluate. It’s possible that this is it, but it’s also possible you will feel lingering effects for the next several months and we need to keep on top of it. Do you two understand?” 

Both men nodded, still holding hands. “Good. I’m going to have the office staff give you some packets about what you can and can’t do in the next couple of weeks, at least in terms of your head. You’ll have to come back for another X-ray to see how that arm is healing.”

“Hey doc,” said Eddie hesitantly, “What about going back to work?”

Buck snorted. “Oh look who’s talking now,” he said, and Eddie shot him an unamused glance. 

“Look, Mr. Diaz. In terms of your arm? It’s going to be awhile before that heals up enough to go back to active duty. But next week I’m going to see you again and see how your head is doing. If I can give you the all clear, then talk to your captain and see if there’s a way you can work without too much overexertion.” 

Eddie felt Buck trying to hold in a laugh as he asked the doctor, “Like, light duty?” 

“Yes Mr. Buckley, something like that.” Eddie rolled his eyes at Buck’s smirk and stood to leave.

“Thanks for everything doc, we’re going to go now.”

“See you next week Mr. Diaz. Please speak to the staff about setting up another appointment.”

Still holding Buck’s hand, Eddie moved to leave. Then he remembered his conversation with himself earlier, and what Buck had told him in the car, and turned back. “Um, one more thing.”

“Yes Mr. Diaz?”

“Are there any psychologists or psychiatrists associated with this practice? I...I was thinking about seeing someone and I’d prefer someone who gets it, you know?”

“Absolutely Mr. Diaz. We have several therapists who are also veterans who work with us. I will have my staff give you a list with your other information and you can set up an appointment at your convenience.”

Eddie felt an unexpected amount of relief. He looked at Buck, who smiled softly and gently squeezed Eddie’s hand. “Thank you doctor. See you next week.”

As they left, Buck knocked his shoulder against Eddie’s and whispered, “I’m really proud of you man.” 

Eddie smiled. “Thanks Buck. I think it’s the right move. C’mon lets pick up Christopher from school early and go for ice cream.” 

Buck immediately perked up. “Yes, Christopher  _ and  _ ice cream? With the afternoon off? Could this day  _ get _ any better?” 

“Hey man what am I, chopped liver?” Buck blushed and glanced at their still intertwined hands. He looked into Eddie’s face for a moment, and Eddie could swear he leaned in a little.  _ Is going to kiss me? _ But then Buck backed off and dropped Eddie’s hand. He wouldn’t meet Eddie’s eyes, but he sounded normal when he said, “C’mon, let’s go get Christopher.”

**

“Hey Buck, come on in, I’ll be right there.” Buck walked back into his therapist’s office. Dr. Martin was a middle aged woman who did all kinds of therapy. But he’d really clicked with her after trying a bunch of people who specialized in trauma, so he felt like specialization wasn’t really a requirement. 

Dr. Martin walked in and shut the door before sitting in her chair across from Buck. “So Buck, how are we doing this week? Last time we talked you canceled to take care of your friend. How is he?”

“Eddie is good,” Buck began. “Well, he’s good now. He was in pretty bad shape when I called you.” 

“Seems like so were you. What were you feeling?” 

Buck described the roller coaster of emotions he had felt, from the minute he found Eddie in the car right up until Eddie had held his hand in the doctor’s office two days ago. Dr. Martin listened understandingly. “Buck, that’s a lot, especially after all of the emotions that lead up to your anger at your captain and your team. How are you handling that?”

“Well, I’ve been acknowledging my emotions a lot more, like we talked about? Like letting myself feel scared, at least when I don’t need to be there for Christopher. And to be sad and mad when I think about what Eddie is going through and how he chose to deal with it. Like, I get it, I do, you know?” Dr. Martin nodded and he continued talking. 

“God knows I do dumb shit when I feel helpless, that’s kind of what got me here in the first place? Feeling so alone, cut off from the one thing I felt good at? So I took it out on the only people I care about, which, hello Buckley, dumb move.

And Eddie has been through  _ so _ much shit this past year, you know? He got back together with his ex, decided to break up, and then she got in that accident? And his son lost his mother for good. And then he was still there for me through the whole ordeal with my leg and physical therapy and getting back to myself. I couldn’t have done it without Eddie and Christopher. And then he trusts me with his son - with that perfect little boy? And we get caught in a damn tsunami. And I, I couldn’t  _ find _ his kid? And I had to tell him that? And even though it turned out okay there was still that moment when he had lost his son, and god how that must’ve stopped his heart. I saw in his face the second his heart stopped. But he  _ still _ trusted me with Christopher. And then I pulled more dumb shit, and I wasn’t there to help them when Christopher needed me. When I needed Christopher, and Eddie, I had isolated myself from them. And he still forgave me. He takes care of everyone else all the time. No wonder he snapped.”

Dr. Martin listened quietly to his long-winded rant. “But you are still angry with him, aren’t you? You have to acknowledge those feelings too.”

“I love him, doc. So much. I realized that day when he told me how much he trusted me. I’m so angry that he did something that could have taken him away from me forever. Something that could have left his son with no parents, something no kid should ever have to go through. And even if he hadn’t gotten hurt but had gotten arrested? What if they took Christopher away from him?”

“That makes a lot of sense Buck. It’s okay to be angry with the people we love. Have you talked to Eddie about it yet?”

“No, I’ve been kind of scared to? I don’t want to rock the boat, we’re in a pretty good place right now. And it’s only my business if he makes it, isn’t it? I don’t want to intrude on his life, I’m happy to be in it just as much as he wants.”

Dr. Martin was silent for a moment. “Buck, we’ve touched on this in our previous sessions, but if you’re ready to talk about it, I think we need to figure out why you are constantly battered by these thoughts of inadequacy. Because I think that’s behind this hesitation you have with being in Eddie’s life, when he’s given you no indication that he wants you out of it.”

Buck looked at his lap. He was a bit surprised to realize his eyes were filling with tears. He didn’t speak for a while. “I mean...I was never really...enough...you know?” 

“What do you mean by that, Buck? Who or what weren’t you enough for?”

“It’s dumb, it’s dumb and I  _ know  _ its dumb, but it’s like, I’m never enough for anyone to stay? I don’t remember my dad all that much, I was only like eight when he walked out? But I was a scrawny little kid and I remember him being frustrated that I didn’t run as fast as the other boys in soccer practice or couldn’t hit the ball as far in little league. My mom wasn’t involved in any of that stuff, so it was only ever his disappointment. Then he left, and for a long time I wondered if it was because he had such a let down of a son. I told Maddie that once. She told me he was just a dumbass didn’t deserve a family. But I still thought it was because of me for along time. Hell, I know it wasn’t just because of me, but I still think a big part of it was his disappointing excuse for a son.”

“It’s very normal for kids to feel like it’s their fault when a parent leaves, you know that don’t you? Even when it definitely isn’t?” 

“Yeah I know. But then it felt like everyone kept leaving? My mom got sick when I was sixteen, and she was in and out of the hospital until I graduated. Part of me felt like if I got my diploma and got into a good college she’d find the will to live? Like, she had this perfect daughter in nursing school and a son who had almost flunked out of high school because dyslexia wasn’t a thing they diagnosed people with in backwater Pennsylvania. But I didn’t get into any colleges. And she died. We had never been really close and now she was gone and it was like she didn’t care about me enough to stay. Which is a stupid thought, I know, but I still thought it. I still think it sometimes.

And then there was Maddie. I love her so much and growing up she was always there for me. The one person I could count on for anything - homework help, to take me to a friend, to listen to my teenage drama. She met Doug. I didn’t realize at the time that it was because of him, but they moved away from us after Mom died and she stopped being in contact with me like she used to. There was just enough so I wouldn't look too hard at their relationship, but Doug really isolated her from me. It wasn’t until I was already in LA and older that I realized that wasn’t normal and started to suspect what was up with Doug. But before that, it felt like she had just left me too. Like she found real love, so a little brother wasn’t enough anymore.

That’s when I tried to join the navy. But it was before I had started taking care of my body, and I didn’t have the best grades? And they wanted people who could shut off their emotions, and I can’t do that. Don’t want to. So I wasn’t enough for that either.”

“And that’s when you moved to LA?” 

“I had seen some ads that the LAFD was looking to recruit people and the city was giving stipends for people who would move out there and make a go for it. I registered for the courses and hit the gym so that by the time the training started I was ready for it. And I made it. That was the best feeling in the world. This was something, finally, that I was  _ good _ at. People who I was enough for, who eventually became my family.”

“And that’s why losing your job was so hard?” Buck nodded. Tears had been falling for a while now and he felt exhausted. He had never spoken about all of that, not all at once. Not to anyone. 

Dr. Martin smiled and leaned forward. She made sure Buck was looking at her before she spoke. “Listen Buck, when you cry? That’s how we know we’ve hit the important stuff. The really important stuff.” Buck nodded again. It seemed like all he could do right now. “This was a lot for today, I know. We can stop here if you want.” He nodded again. “Is there anything else I can help you with today Buck,” she asked gently? 

He snorted.  _ Finally, a different reaction. _ “Not unless you know how to get rid of a crush.”

She smiled. “I don’t think you need to get rid of this one. Just give it some time, you both have things to work out. But I have a good feeling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that Buck's therapist is Linda Martin from Lucifer. Because LA, and FOX, and she's amazing and I love her. And I think she'd actually be a really good person for Buck to talk to. After putting up with Lucifer, Buck's non-supernatural trauma must be a piece of cake :D  
Tell me your thoughts and obsess over this with me in the comments!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back with another episode of these babies just need hugs and therapy.  
Featuring Lena Bosko, because I don't really understand all the fandom hate. Sure she's not the best influence on Eddie in this state, but I think she's kind of badass and I want her to be friends with the 118.

Buck threw a few last things in his duffel in preparation for the 24 hour shift coming up.  _ Toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant...I think that’s it. _ It wasn’t like he needed all that much, but he went to the bathroom to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. 

His phone chimed and he saw a text from Eddie. 

**Hey dude, have a good shift. And text me when you’re bored because I am going to be bored out of my mind here and could use some entertaining stories about the rest of the team. **

**Will do buddy! Thanks, and try not to drive Carla and Abuelita crazy while I’m at work.**

**No promises. **

Buck chuckled and threw his phone in the bag with the rest of his things. 

When he arrived at the station and went to change into his uniform, he saw Bosko was already there. He grunted in greeting but otherwise didn’t acknowledge her. He guessed Eddie would have been on this shift with him, so this was a whole 24 hours he got to bond with Bosko. Wonderful. 

_ It’s not like there’s anything about her I actually don’t like _ , Buck mused as he changed.  _ She actually seems pretty cool. But like Cap pointed out, we didn’t exactly start off on the right foot. That’s probably mostly my fault. Shit, I should apologize.  _

He turned around to see Bosko glaring at him with her arms crossed. “Um, what’s the problem Bosko?”

“You’re asking me? I was just gonna ask you what your problem is man? We’ve had three shifts together already and you always give me the cold shoulder. I get that we’re not friends but there’s no need to be a jerk about it.”

Buck was speechless for a minute, and Bosko just continued staring at him. Finally he managed to speak. “Listen, Bosko…” She looked at him expectantly. 

“It’s not, personal? Like I was going through some things when you showed up and I felt like you were replacing me. I know everyone said it was temporary but you seemed to just fit in with the team. You do kind of fit in with the team already, so I was jealous. I would have been jealous of anyone.”  _ And you got along so well with Eddie so fast.  _

“Buck, that’s obvious. I want to know why you  _ still _ act like this, even when it’s become clear that I am not sticking around that long and that literally no one could ever take your place on this team.” Buck scratched the back of his head awkwardly. 

“I guess I kind of resent the fact that you were there for Eddie when I was being a dick? He eventually forgave me but the fact that he was clearly turning to you? It kind of hurt, since you were already the temporary me.”

“Well, get over it Buckley. You seem like an okay dude in general and I’d really like to be able to get along with my partner for as long as I’m here.”

“I’m working on it Bosko, I promise. I’ll make more of an effort.” 

“Call me Lena, I prefer Lena,” said, cracking a smile. 

Buck returned it. “I promise to stop being a jerk, Lena.” He stuck out his hand and she shook it firmly. 

“Well thank god that’s out of the way,” she said. “What is it with you boys and needing me to fill in for you anyway? The minute one of you comes back, the other is MIA. What happened to Eddie anyway?”

“He didn’t tell you? I thought you guys were good friends.” 

“We’re good coworkers Buck, and I was happy to be there when he needed someone. But he isn’t really in a place to be good at making new friends right now. Or to be a good friend in general I guess.” She sounded sort of bitter, and Buck was going to ask more, but decided against it. 

“I found him coming home last week after that bad crash? He was all beat up. His arm was broken and he was clearly out of it. So I took him to the ER.”

Lena had gone white. “Shit, shit, shit, that stupid bastard.”

Buck looked at Lena suspiciously. “You - you already know how he got those injuries, don’t you.” He was angry again, and he knew Lena could tell. 

“Listen, listen to me Buck, okay? That day you guys fought in the grocery store? Well the day before that, he had gotten into a fight with some asshole about handicapped parking and ended up in jail. I had to go bail him out.” 

“Wait that was an actual thing he was referring to? Shit.”

“Yeah, and so later that night I took him to this place I go when I need to vent.”

Buck was surprised. “Lena you actually fight in those? You must know how dangerous that is, how it could go wrong.” 

“Buck, I’m not an idiot. I know the organizer of these fights. Nadia only abides by fair fights. There’s no knockouts, no broken bones or irreparable damage allowed. It’s bare-knuckled sure, but if things start to get out of hand, her refs make sure it’s stopped. She doesn’t need the kind of attention a bunch of dead idiots would get from the cops. And she’s badass enough that the people who come the fights respect her. Or she doesn’t let them back.”

“But it’s still illegal, and it only takes one psycho to get out of control before someone stops them to do serious damage!”

“I go very rarely Buck. I see a therapist like a normal person, because the job we do requires someone on the outside who can help you through it, and leaning on family instead of professionals can be a tricky thing. Hell, I’ve talked about the fights with my therapist. Most of the time I’m fine, sometimes things just get too much. That’s when I fight. And it’s for the sport and the exertion and a little bit to put the hurt and anger somewhere else. It’s not the healthiest coping mechanism in the world, but it’s the healthiest thing that works for me.”

“Why did you take Eddie there?” Buck got what she was saying, but he still stood with his arms crossed and glared at her. Her methods were her business, but why did she have to drag Eddie into it?

“Well now that I look back, it was a dumb idea. He was not a place where he could be in control of how he used fighting. But he only watched that first time I took him, and he didn’t ask me to go back. So I figured that was the end of it.”

“And you didn’t notice when he kept coming into work with random bruises and shit?” 

“Like I said Buck, Eddie wasn’t exactly in a place to be a good friend to me? And sue me, I was hurt by that, so I stopped being so invested in his drama. So no, I didn’t notice. 

But Buck, he must have found other fights. I told you, Nadia doesn't stand for broken limbs and severe head injuries. She would have put a stop to it long before it got there.”

“So if it’s not the place you took him, where is he going.”

Lena swallowed hard and looked a bit ashamed.  _ Finally _ . “A couple of weeks back, before you started working again? I was covering someone else’s shift and we got a call about a guy who had a bad broken nose. Like, a piece went into his brain and then blocked his airway bad. When we got to the site we saw that it was an underground ring. Everyone who goes to those things had cleared out before the cops could arrive. But the guy was propped up against the fence, and the piece of his nose that had broken off was on the floor next to him. Someone with medical experience had to have done that, I guess before running off so they wouldn't get caught. And someone called 9-1-1 in the first place, which isn’t exactly typical of a place like that.”

“And you think that was Eddie,” Buck said flatly. 

Lena sighed. “Well at the time it didn’t even cross my mind. Like I said, I thought the first time had been the end of it. But looking at the situation now, and knowing what happened to Eddie? I think there’s a good chance it was.”

She looked up at Buck. “I should have realized he was more unstable than he was letting on. I fucked up with that, I’m sorry.” 

Buck looked at her for a minute. “You’re coming to dinner tomorrow night.” 

“What?” 

“I’m gonna arrange playdate for Christopher with Denny, and you are going to come over to Eddie’s. And we are going to have dinner and we are all going to talk about what the fuck has been going on. Because if I’ve learned anything from all this crap, it’s that, like,  _ two  _ honest conversations could have prevented most of this.” 

Lena smiled and patted Buck’s arm. She looked like she was going to say more, but the bell rang and they both ran to get on the truck.  _ But this time we’ve got each other’s backs, for real.  _

**

Eddie sat awkwardly on the couch in the psychiatrist’s office. He normally would have his hands clasped together, but the cast prevented that. It had only been a few seconds of staring at the older man in silence, but Eddie was already starting to be nervous about coming here. 

“Good morning Mr. Diaz, it’s really nice to meet you.” 

“Hey Dr. Klemke, it’s, uh, it’s good to meet you too. Thanks for seeing me so soon.”

“So, why have you come to see me Mr. Diaz? You gave your doctor permission to talk to me so I have your medical history. Is this just about working through your injuries?”

“No I - I’ve been through a lot in the past year? And my injuries were a result of an underground fight club. A lot of my friends have expressed concern about why I chose that outlet, and honestly I’m kind of concerned myself.”

“I see. Can I call you Eddie?” Eddie nodded. “Eddie, it sounds like you have a lot you want to talk about. We don’t have to go in any particular order, we can start wherever you want. But I want to have a full picture, so let’s try something. You game?” 

Eddie looked at him skeptically, but said, “Sure?”

“Ordinarily, I would ask you to decide where the starting point of your story is, but you were seeing a therapist when you got out of the army before moving to LA. So for now, I want you to begin with your move to LA. Hit the highlights - what significant things have happened in the past two years?”

Eddie hesitated. “A-a lot’s happened since I got here doc. Hell there have been two natural disasters in the two years I’ve been here.” 

“We aren’t going to analyze each event, at least not yet. Indulge me, please.”

“If you want,” Eddie shrugged. “Let’s see. Um, two years ago, against my parent’s advice, I moved away from them in Texas to LA, where my grandmother and some other family live. I signed up to train to be in the LAFD, since my army medic experience seemed like it would be put to good use that way. I joined the 118 for my probationary period. On like, my second day on the job, the earthquake hit. So that was a couple of days of crazy stunts and chaos. And then there was figuring out how to make things in LA work best for Christopher, my son? In terms of school and his disabilities, he’s got cerebral palsy. My best friend Buck was huge help with that. That was really the beginning of our friendship actually. Then there was a whole thing with Christopher’s school, they needed to meet his mom before they would admit him. So I called up Shannon, who had left two years earlier, with the excuse of taking care of her mom in California. So now my ex, who I’m technically still married to, is around again. She wants to be part of Christopher’s life, and I was hesitant, but it felt good to be around her again. Like I could put my family back together, for my son. And then? Then she asks for a divorce. So she’s not as into this as she said she would be. And then get gets hit by a car and  _ dies _ , leaving my son without his mom, who had already left him once. I finished my probationary period with the LAFD and my parents wanted me to move back to Texas, but Christopher and I are happy here. So I stayed. And then there was the incident with the bomber, and Buck got trapped under that firetruck. There was a minute when I was terrified we wouldn’t be able to get him out. And then he couldn’t work for months, but he’s still my best friend. So on my off time I was going over and taking Christopher so that we all had a chance to see each other. And then Buck was in a funk because even after he healed he was having complications and couldn’t come back to work. So I left Christopher with him for the day. The day of the tsunami. I didn’t think they were there, but then in chaos I found Buck. And for a minute, he was telling me that Christopher was gone. I saw a woman holding my son only a few moments later, but for a minute he was just...gone. And now Buck and Christopher have so much trauma from that day, they’re still both working on it. Buck in particular was not handling it well - he sued the department when our captain wouldn’t let him work. So I couldn’t talk to him for over a week. That’s when I started going to the fights. Which continued, even after Buck came back and I forgave him, until two weeks ago when I ended up in the hospital.”

Eddie took a deep breath and realized he had been rambling for several minutes. Dr. Klemke had just listened with an understanding expression, taking notes every so often. Eddie fell silent. 

The doctor smiled at him. “That seems like a pretty thorough recap Eddie, thank you. I think I have enough background that we can focus on whichever issues you want to.”

“Well, I actually spoke to my captain this morning? It seems like he came straight from his 24 hour shift to my place, and he wanted to check in on me.”

“That’s very considerate of him.” 

“Yeah, well at first I figured he was there to fire, or at least suspend me. For the fighting. But he had talked to Buck, and Lena, another friend who was the one who introduced me to fighting. And he wanted to...he asked me if it was about control.”

“And was it? Have you thought about the reasons you got so involved with the fighting?”

“It - he said something about me being always strong and in control for everyone else. So I retorted that I had to be in control, for Christopher’s sake. I couldn’t keep letting that kid down. And he asked when I’d let him down before.” 

“And did you tell him?”

“Yeah. Doc, I’ve failed that kid so many times? I joined the army when he was a baby, and it was really just running away from the responsibility of having a kid with CP. And that ruined my relationship with his mom. So when I got back, his mom left us. Because of me. And then I let her back in, even when I was worried about what it would do to him. And I wasn’t - I didn’t do  _ enough _ , couldn’t be enough of a husband for her to stay,  _ again _ . She wanted out. And then she was killed. And I’m angry at her, and I’m angry at me. And then only a little later, Buck, this guy that my kid looks up to so much? He engineered a situation where he cut himself off from us. So my son was losing someone else. And I guess I just lost it? I had so much fury and I almost took it out on Buck, and I knew I couldn’t take that home to Christopher. So I took it out on other people, on strangers who had their own issues.”

“Did that work for you Eddie? Did you feel better after the fights?”

“At first, it was great. I felt so relieved after the first one. But the next morning everything was already churning around again. So I went back. And I found bloodier, dirtier fights. And I went as often as I could, because the only time I wasn’t angry was in those moments when I had just beat my opponent.”

“It almost sounds like you got addicted to them Eddie. Would you say that’s a fair assessment?”

“I guess? I mean, I’ve already resolved not to go back. I knew it was bad and now that everyone’s found out, the guilt overrides the want. I don’t think it’s a true addiction...but I think it could have become that if I kept it up.”

“I think that is very self aware Eddie. Unfortunately, my first sessions are scheduled a bit shorter than usual, so we are almost out of time. Is there anything specific you want to work on before the next time we meet?”

“My son. He’s only eight. I know this has been really rough on him, and right after everything he went through with the tsunami? He sees a child psychologist, he’s always seen one as part of learning how to navigate the world with CP. But he hasn’t asked me what happened. I know he’s curious, and I know no one else has told him. They’re waiting for me to talk to him - but I don’t know what to say.”

“Hmm, that’s an interesting situation Eddie. Would you be opposed to putting me in contact with your son’s therapist? I’d rather not make a recommendation without knowing more about his situation, and I think between the three of us we can work out a way for you and Christopher to have this conversation in the healthiest way possible. Of course, you could always just talk to him. You know your son and how much he can handle, and I think you can be honest with him. I think, at least from the perspective of your own mental health, it would be a good thing.”

“I don’t want to make things worse for him. I’d feel better if you guys actually talked, I’ll give you his number and call him to let him know I did. I want the best possible situation for Christopher.”

“We can definitely do that Mr. Diaz. I’ll be in touch.”

**

Buck and Lena had picked Christopher up from school and dropped him off with Hen and Karen. Christopher was so excited, Buck almost forgot the dread he was feeling about the conversation they needed to have with Eddie. 

Buck thought about cooking, but it turned out that neither he nor Lena were in the mood. So they picked up some pizza and drove over to Eddie’s.

Eddie answered the door with a look of surprise. “Buck, why did you knock, don’t you have a key?” Lena gave Buck a sideways glance, which he ignored. “Where’s Christopher? Hey Lena, what are you doing here?”

Buck smiled. “Christopher is at Denny’s, they’ve got a playdate. I texted you about it?”

“Oh, yeah.” 

“Can we come inside?” asked Lena. “This pizza is going to get cold.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, sure. Come in.” Eddie stepped aside to let them both in. Buck headed straight for the kitchen, getting plates and cups for all of them and setting them on the table. “Let’s eat guys.” He and Lena sat and started to dig in. Eddie looked confused, but joined them at the table.

“Uh, guys?” he started. “Not that I don’t appreciate the company, but I don’t actually need constant supervision anymore. What are you two doing here?”

Buck looked at Lena with a questioning glance. She shrugged and nodded for him to speak. 

“Eddie, Lena and I were talking yesterday. About a bunch of things, but mostly about you. I thought it was a good idea that we all sit down and talk like rational human beings, instead of just circulating secondhand information between us.” Eddie’s expression turned apprehensive, but he nodded in agreement. 

Lena spoke up. “Where did you get hurt Eddie? How did this happen to you?”

Eddie looked defensive. “You know how it happened. Even if the team hadn’t told you by now, you’re the one that told me about the street fights.”

“Eddie, you idiot, I took you to a very specific one! You and I both know that you could  _ not _ have gotten as hurt as you did at Nadia’s place! And that call we took a couple weeks ago? It had to have been you who called - were you the one who saved the guys life, or the one who almost killed him?”

Buck looked at Lena in shock. He knew that she suspected Eddie had saved the guy, but he didn’t realize she thought he could be the one that did it in the first place. 

Eddie looked down, clenching his jaw. “Both.”

Buck gaped at him. “Eddie...what? How? Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Lena scoffed. “The guy was already out of it, but Diaz here thought it was a good idea to give him a sharp kick to the head as well.”

“Those are the rules of that club Lena! Tap out or knockout!”

“You think, that guy that you had punched so hard he didn’t even raise his hands to defend himself from your kick, you think he should have tapped out before you dropped him?”

“I - I wasn’t exactly thinking at the time.” 

“Obviously,” she sneered. 

“Listen, once he didn’t get up, I realized what had happened, that he wasn’t breathing. I cleared his airway and called 9-1-1.” He looked at Buck beseechingly. Buck looked away. He couldn’t stand the pleading look in Eddie’s eyes, and he wasn’t ready to forgive him just yet. He knew Eddie had needed to let out his anger, but he didn’t realize just how much of it he had been holding in, how far he had been willing to go. 

“Buck, Lena, listen to me. I  _ know _ , I know it was wrong and dumb and god, I regretted going to the fight as soon as it was over.” 

“But you went back.” said Lena. “That’s how you got so injured - it was your turn to get knocked out.” 

“Yeah, I did, a few more times after that, actually. It became an obsession. I only felt okay right after a fight, not before or later. At all other times my rage was just simmering below the surface.”

Buck knew he looked as stricken as he felt. “Man, I’ve been back for weeks now. The second day back we talked and you said you forgave me. So why didn’t you talk to me? Or Lena? Or Bobby, or Hen, or Chim or anyone?”

Eddie scrubbed his hand over his face. “It’s not that simple Buck! It’s not just about you, it’s my own personal shit, and I didn’t need to drag everyone else into it. I had it under control.”

“Except you didn’t.” Lena spoke, because Buck was speechless. He was sure his hurt showed on his face.  _ Right, it’s not about me. It’s not my business. He’s telling you to butt out Buck.  _

“I realize that now,” Eddie answered. He looked at Buck, and seemed a little regretful about his words. 

“Listen Eddie, Buck?” said Lena. “I’m going to head out.” 

“Wait, why?” asked Eddie. 

“Because I’ve heard all I needed to hear about you. I’m glad you’re physically okay now, and I hope you’re getting professional help you need, but it’s not really my business if you do. I’m washing my hands of your drama okay?”

“Lena, you’re my friend, of course it’s your business.” 

“I might be yours Eddie, but you’re not mine. You don’t know anything about me or my personal life, but I know all about yours. I don’t have it in me for a one way friendship.”

“Lena, wait,” started Eddie, but she had already stood and walked to the door. Buck and Eddie heard it slam behind her. Eddie put his head down on the table. “Shit, I’m going to have to apologize to her. Another thing to figure out in therapy - why am I such a shitty friend?”

“You’re not Eddie, you’ve just been going through some stuff,” Buck reassured him. “Did you start therapy already? I wasn’t sure.”

“Yeah I went this morning. He’s actually really great, I talked about a lot with him.” 

“You feel like you can be totally honest with him, no judgement, right?” 

“Yeah, I really do.”

“That’s fantastic Eddie. It took me a couple of tries before I found someone like that. I’m glad it was easier for you.”

They lapsed into a bit of an uncomfortable silence. “Buck,” said Eddie suddenly. 

“Yeah dude?” 

“Buck, I want to talk to you about the things I’m working through. But I know you’re going through your own stuff, I don’t want to add to your burdens.” 

Buck chuckled. “Funnily enough, I was thinking something very similar. I’m learning a lot about myself and I wanted to be able to share that with you. But between Christopher’s trauma and yours, I didn’t want to add.”

Eddie looked like he was holding back tears. He reached out across the table, and Buck mirrored him to join hands. 

“Buck, you are my best friend. You are family to Christopher, and to me. I want you to be a part of our lives, and we want to be part of yours. The good, the bad, the ugly. Okay?”

Buck felt his own eyes filling up as he looked into Eddie’s. “I want that too. You guys are so important to me.”

Eddie smiled. “Let’s go sit on the couch. We can grab a couple of beers and bitch about the shitty year we’ve been having. Then, maybe catch a game until it’s time to get Christopher?”

“That sounds amazing, Eddie. I’ll grab the beers and meet you there.” Eddie squeezed his hand before standing.

“Don’t be too long, querido.” Buck looked up sharply, his heart pounding.  _ Querido? Doesn’t that mean… _

“What did you call me?”

Eddie looked red. “Um, I called you amigo. You know, like friend?”

Buck gave him a look. “Eddie, we live in LA, I know basic Spanish, you don’t have to tell me what amigo means.”

“Oh so you’re not a total ditz huh?”

“Hey, just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean I’m dumb!” Buck smiled. He was going to look up querido later, because he was pretty sure...but for now he let it go. He was just glad to be back in a good place with Eddie. That was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Come obsess with me in the comments!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back, sorry for the delay! Lots of good things happening in the next couple of weeks, which is great, but that means it’ll probably be longer between updates again. 
> 
> There’s more smut here 🙈. I’ve upped the rating so no one gets taken off guard. (It’s not super explicit, but better safe than sorry. And who knows, maybe in later chapters it will get more explicit ☺️) As always, skip it if it’s not your thing. It’s the last part of this chapter so you should be able to avoid it if it’s not your cup of tea. (Take care of you! You’re special!)
> 
> And as alway, let me know what you think. The story is moving towards them getting together but I want there to be more buildup, so send ideas my way for in between things you’d like to see! And come obsess with me in the comments because I’m living for them.  
Hope you enjoy!

Eddie felt great. Well, not physically. He had a headache constantly lurking, and sometimes his thoughts were scattered, but the doctor said that was normal. And his arm only hurt when he did something stupid, like knock it against something. 

But he had talked to Buck last night. Really, really talked, about everything. About all the difficult things they’d been through, not only this year. Their whole lives. They had spent hours talking about their childhoods, both the bad and the good. He felt like he knew Buck better than ever. 

_ And I’m more in love with him than ever before.  _ Someone who shared so much of himself with Eddie, who Eddie could share so much of himself with? How could he not be?

Every time Buck had brought up something that made him insecure, he looked worried, as if the knowledge was going to make Eddie think less of him.  _ But he’s so good, so brave, so strong. How could I ever think less of him? _

He was laying in his bed. Christopher was with him, curled into his side. The boy had been really worried that evening that he was going to have nightmares, and asked if he could stay with Eddie. And Eddie couldn’t refuse the kid that. Especially since he wanted Christoper close to him anyway. The kid was fast asleep, but Eddie was just replaying his evening with Buck over and over. 

It had been so long since he’d felt so close to another person. 

_ He’s such a beautiful person. Inside and out. Damn, that outside though. I think I almost kissed him like five times today. His lips are just so...full. And pink. God I want to kiss them. And everywhere else...bite his neck… and his shoulders...aaaand we’re stopping there. _ He had nearly forgotten that Christopher was right there. He had to stop that train of thought.

Christopher snuggled a bit closer in his sleep and Eddie smiled.  _ Alright Diaz, get some sleep. _

The next morning, Eddie woke to hear knocking on his bedroom door. 

“Um, come in?” He said sleepily. Christopher stirred as well, waking up. 

His abuela opened the door. She tried to look stern but Eddie could see the smile in her eyes.  _ We’re her cute boys, she can’t help it _ . 

“Well good morning sleepyheads! You two boys better get up, it’s almost time for Christopher to go to school. Come, mis hijos, get up.” Eddie looked at his phone and was shocked by the time. He had meant to set and earlier alarm, but he must’ve forgotten.  _ A bit distracted, I guess. _

“Thanks for getting us Abuelita. Let’s go Christopher, go get ready.” He ran off and Eddie slumped back in bed. His abuela stared at him. “What?”

“If you want to get back to normal quickly, that includes getting out of bed, not sleeping all day.” He glared at her, but knew she was right. As he walked to the bathroom, he said “Christopher’s got a therapist’s appointment after school, and I’m going too. Can you drive us?”

“Absolutely m’hijo. I’ll come get you and we’ll pick him up.” 

“Thanks Abuelita.” She kissed his cheek. “Anything for you boys, you know that.” She left him to finish washing up. 

Eddie was making himself some breakfast when Christopher came up behind him and gave him a huge hug. “Love you Daddy, I’ll see you later!”

Eddie bent down to give him a kiss goodbye. “Love you kiddo. Have a good day at school.” He followed them to the door and watched them drive off before turning back inside.

_ Another day all to myself. Fantastic. _

His phone chimed, and he saw the reminder.  _ Doctor’s appointment, 11am. Shit I forgot.  _ How was he going to get there? 

Then there was a knock at the door. He opened it and was surprised to find Buck standing there.

“Uh, hey dude. Good to see you, but what are you doing here?”

“I’ve got the day off, I figured you were going to be bored out of your skull alone. So I brought some movies. And cinnamon rolls for breakfast.”

“Wow that sounds awesome, actually. Come on in.”

They walked into the kitchen and Buck put his things down on the table. 

“You actually have perfect timing,” said Eddie.

“Oh yeah?” Asked Buck, already stuffing a cinnamon roll in his mouth. Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, I just remembered I have a doctor’s appointment and I was trying to figure out how to get there.”

“Oh, no problem man, I gotchu,” said Buck around a mouthful of pastry.

Eddie smiled. “I know you do. Thanks. Now pass me one of those, I’m starving.”

**

For what felt like the thousandth time, Buck tried to stop his leg from jiggling. He was in the waiting room, and it felt like Eddie’s tests were taking forever.

Buck wasn’t even sure why he was so jittery. He knew Eddie was improving and it was unlikely that anything would come up.  _ It’s the not knowing really. Wish I could be in there with him. _

Just then, Eddie’s doctor came out. “Come on in Mr. Buckley, we’re finished.” He followed her into her office.

Eddie smiled as he came in, and Buck returned it while taking the chair next to the other man.

“Mr. Diaz,” began the doctor. “I am very, very pleased with your progress. I’m scheduling you for a CT to be sure, but I’m pretty certain the concussion has healed nicely. The x-rays of your arm show that it needs several more weeks. But otherwise you seem to be in perfect health.”

Eddie shot Buck a grin, and Buck smiled back. He was sure his heart was in his eyes. He felt so much relief.

The doctor continued. “I’m comfortable clearing you to begin a regimen to rebuild your physical strength. You’ll have to be careful not to overdo it, but you should feel like you’re back to normal quite soon. I’ll give you the information of some trainers that work with us that can help you pace yourself.”

Eddie looked thrilled. Buck was pretty pleased with the news himself. Eddie would be back with all of them soon. 

“I think that’s it for now. And of course, call me with any questions.”

“Thanks doctor,” said Eddie as they stood to leave. Buck was almost at the door when Eddie said, “Actually doc, one question?”

Buck paused and waited in the doorway. Eddie looked a little flushed, but asked “What about the...other kinds of physical activity we discussed? Do I still have to...abstain...from elevating my heart rate?” The doctor smiled. “All your normal, everyday activities are cleared for you to do, Mr. Diaz. I think you should be fine. I actually think it would be very beneficial.”

Eddie blushed even harder and Buck stared at him, very confused. He gave Eddie a questioning glance, but Eddie didn’t meet his eyes. “C’mon, let’s go home Buck.” 

“Sure, okay. Thanks again doctor,” Buck waved as they left. He thought he caught a smirk from her, but it had disappeared before he could be sure.  _ Must be imagining things. _

Once they were back in the car, Buck finally asked. “What was that about Eddie?”

“Uh, nothing man. Just following up on some previous medical advice.” But his face was still incredibly red. 

“C’mon dude, I’m your best friend! You are contractually obligated to tell me all your embarrassing shit so I can hold it over you forever!”

Eddie scoffed. “I’m pretty sure there’s no best friend contract, nice try though.”

They stopped at a red light and Buck turned to face Eddie so he could use the full weight of his pout and puppy dog eyes. He could tell Eddie was about to give in when there was angry honking behind him.

Eddie smirked. “I’m pretty sure green means go. Keep your eyes on the road buddy.”  _ Damn, so close. What is he so embarrassed about?  _

“I’m joking man, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. It’s not my business.” They lapsed into silence. 

Suddenly Eddie spoke. “Both doctors told me that I shouldn’t…” Buck had never seen Eddie so flustered. “They told me I shouldn’t have sex until the concussion heals, no sexual activity at all,” he finally said in a rush. 

Buck glances over at him, a little shocked. “Why was that so hard for you to tell me? We’ve talked about sex before, you tell me about your dates all the time.”  _ Well, he did before Shannon fucked with his emotions, before I screwed up with the lawsuit. _

“I dunno it just seemed like a weird thing to mention? And it wasn’t super relevant to everything so...yeah.”

“And now it’s relevant? Like why’d you have to get permission? Hot date tonight?”

Bucks stomach clenched as he asked the question but he forced his voice to stay light and his face to stay casual. They were buddies, just pals taking about their sex lives. No big deal.

“No, not at all,” laughed Eddie, and Buck quietly let out the breath he’d been holding. “It’s just, you know, the doctors said nothing sexual at all so I haven’t…”

Buck was confused for a second longer, and then it clicked. “Oh...oh!” Buck laughed. “You mean you haven’t gotten off in two weeks? Wow no wonder you’ve been grumpy.”

Eddie blushed but laughed along with him. He scrubbed his hand over his face before adding. “It’s actually been longer...between taking care of Christopher and being dead tired from those fights, I just didn’t have the energy.”

Buck clapped him on the shoulder. “Well then I better get you home buddy, you’re long overdue.”

Eddie just stared at him. 

“What, Eddie? You know I’m right.”

Eddie shook his head. “Nothing Buck.” He smirked. “You’re a good friend.”

And now it was Buck’s turn to blush. 

**

Later that night, Eddie was finally alone in his bed. Christopher had gone to sleep an hour ago and Abuelita had left soon after. 

The appointment with the therapists had gone really well. The four of them had sat and talked out what Eddie and Christopher were feeling, how they were dealing with those feelings, and where to go from here. Eddie was finally done keeping secrets from his son, and he had never felt lighter about anything in his life. Christopher had been so understanding.  _ That kid is the most amazing person _ .

With the help of Eddie’s therapist and Christopher’s they had figured out how to tell each other about the things they were going through without it being too much for the eight year old. For the first time in a long time, Eddie felt like they were going to be okay. Really okay.

His thoughts drifted to Buck. How Buck’s being around, being a part of this process, was going a long way towards Eddie’s hopeful thoughts.  _ You’re so hooked, Diaz.  _

He remembered the conversation they had in the car earlier. It had been weird for some reason. Sure, they had talked about their hookups before. But Buck had looked decidedly uncomfortable when he brought up the possibility that Eddie was going out. Eddie wasn’t sure what that meant. 

But that blush, when Eddie had told him he was a good friend? God, that was beautiful. Eddie wanted to see that flush on Buck all the time. In other situations. Like, when Eddie was kissing him. Or going down on him. Or fucking him.

He wondered what would have happened if he had asked Buck to stay over tonight. He didn’t want to get his hopes up that Buck was as hopelessly in love as he was. But this was his fantasy - he could imagine whatever he wanted. And he could pretend Buck wanted him just as much as he wanted Buck. 

What if Eddie kissed him? If they were hanging out on the couch? 

_ What if I move in really close? That flush rising on his cheeks as he realizes what’s happening. His breath quickening. I lean in slowly, slowly. Our lips almost touching, our breath mingling. Until finally, finally I kiss him. And we keep kissing. I grab his hair and his hands are in my waist. Digging into my skin.  _

_ I drag myself back and say, “should we move this to my room?” He smirks and says “Abso-fucking-lutely.” We stand and start walking, but the way his hips move? I grab him and shove him against the wall. Grind my body into his. He moans and I swallow it with my mouth. We stay like that for a minute, just moving our bodies together and exploring each other’s mouths. Buck pulls away first this time, and throws his head back as I attack his neck. “Eddie...Eddie…” he pants. “Yes, mi amor?” “Eddie, I want to suck you off.” I groan and push my hips into his. “God, Buck, are you sure?” _

_ “Been dreaming about it for months, so yeah. C’mon.” He grabs my hand and drags me to the bedroom, shutting the door behind us. He wraps me up in his arms again, and this time it’s my neck that’s going to bruise. He maneuvers us towards the bed and we tumble onto it. _

_ Our clothes are gone. Who gives a fuck how. Buck’s lips and tongue draw shapes on my neck, my chest, my abdomen. Settle in the crease of my hip. Biting and licking and- “Buck,  _ please, _ ” I groan. He gives my that smirk of his, that beautiful, mischievous smile. His lips slowly come closer and closer to my dick, where I want them, where I need them. Closer and closer and- _

Eddie came. Hard. He couldn’t do anything except let it happen, his body shuddering as he came down from the high. 

He looked at the ceiling and sighed.  _ And we were just getting to the best part. _

He felt too guilty to keep imagining his best friend with his dick in his mouth, now that he had gotten off. He really shouldn’t have gotten off thinking about Buck. That definitely crossed some boundaries. He groaned, and then got out of bed to clean up.  _ A problem for tomorrow,  _ was his last waking thought that night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends, I'm back!
> 
> This is a bit of a filler chapter, but its laying some groundwork for where I think I'm going with the story. I hope y'all like it!
> 
> *EDIT In my head *The Scene* from 3x09 happens in this story, as does the rest of the playful banter and fun team interactions from the episode. In fact, I think basically most of the episode happens (except the radiation fire), with minor changes so that it fits in my story lol. I just didn't want to rewrite the whole episode into this fic because, hey, it already happened. But the kitchen scene and the flirting and Maddie's issues and Hen and Karen going away are all canon in this story. The kitchen scene happens right after the first scene I wrote here :)

The past month or so was good for Buck. He was feeling like he and Eddie were back on an even footing. _ Mostly. Still wish I had been there for him earlier. _

One issue, though, had been Hen. Buck wished he could help her after that accident, but he knew Hen needed to work through those things away from the rest of them. He had spoken to Karen a bit, to let her know he was there if they needed anything. He knew only time would really help. 

The other big hiccup had been Maddie. She had really been struggling with her own mental health but hadn’t acknowledged it. Then Tara had almost killed her husband, and dragged Maddie into the whole mess. Buck still remembered the defeated look on Maddie’s face when Tara had said she and the douche bag were going to work it out. 

He knew only Maddie could help herself, and this week she had seemed a little better after seeing her therapist. So he was hopeful. 

He had a sort of fallen into a routine with Eddie and Christopher. Eddie’s arm was still healing, but he came back to work, tagging along on calls and helping where he could. Which wasn't much more than offering advice, but Buck had spoken to Bobby. 

“I still regret the miscommunication with you, Buck,” he had said. “I wish I had let you back in some sort of capacity earlier - I hope it’s okay that I’m trying to make up for that with Eddie?” Buck had smiled and given Bobby a reassuring hug. It was nice to know Bobby cared about him, and about Eddie. He had forgiven Bobby a while ago - he understood where the captain had been coming from. It still stung, but he also knew his situation was a bit different from Eddie’s. Eddie just had to worry about staying out of the way so he didn’t re-injure the arm. Buck had been on blood thinners, and any bump or bruise he got could have been serious before anyone realized what had happened. _ And honestly, I’m just glad Eddie is around again, it’s not the same here without him. _

Buck and Eddie were spending a lot of time again, like they had before the whole fiasco. Buck often took Christopher on his days off, even if Eddie was around. He was always going over to the Diaz’s for dinner, Buck and Eddie took Christopher mini-golfing or to the zoo or wherever else he wanted to go. _ It’s normal - we’re just always together. _ Buck smiled to himself. It was wonderful. 

He heard the locker room door open and looked up to see Eddie enter. His smile widened, and Eddie returned it.

“Hey Buck, I was just looking for you.”

“Hey man, what’s up?”

“I was just talking to Abuelita and Tía Pepa, they wanted me to tell you that you’re joining us for Thanksgiving dinner. They said no is not an option, and Maddie is invited as well.”

Buck smiled wider, if that was possible. “I’m so there, but I think Maddie and Chimney got invited to Hen and Karen.”

“Eh, Abuelita loves Maddie but she’ll understand. But she will be absolutely devastated if you don’t come. As will Christopher, but the way.” He smirked. 

“Playing dirty, Diaz, using your son and your grandmother to guilt trip me. Like I said, I’m there. Can I bring anything?”

Eddie laughed. “I doubt it. I’d ask Abuelita but she might be offended at the very thought of a guest bringing something. I’m not even allowed to - she cooks the whole thing. Says it’s her favorite part of the holiday, cooking for her family.”

“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. She is my favorite Diaz, besides Christopher of course,” said Buck. 

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Where am I on the totem pole?”

Buck smirked and stood to pat Eddie shoulder. “Third, obviously. Weren’t you listening?” He laughed and turned to leave the room. He looked back when he had an idea. “Hey Eddie, you and Christopher want to come to my place for pizza tonight?”

“That would actually be great, I really don’t want to cook tonight. We’ll drop by around six?”

“Cool, I’ll see you guys then - my first and third favorite Diaz’s!”

**

“Edmundo, Happy Thanksgiving! Sweet boy, how are you feeling?” 

Eddie smiled as he was engulfed in a warm hug. “I’m feeling much better, Tía, thanks for asking. How was your trip to New York? How is the East Coast family?”

Pepa smiled. “It was wonderful, it was so nice to see my brother and my nieces, and Diana is getting so big! You know her quinces is coming up, I can’t believe I’m going back to New York so soon. Are you going to go?”

Eddie laughed. “Yes, Adelita already told me she would fly out here and kill me if I didn’t bring Christopher to see his cousins. We’re flying out a couple of days before, I’m going to make a vacation of it.”

“Oh that sounds wonderful,” Pepa gushed. “Christopher will love the holidays in New York. But what about Evan, you aren’t going to leave him alone here at Christmas, will you?”

Eddie’s heart started beating faster, but he just gave her a confused look. “He won’t be alone, Tía. His sister lives in LA, and Bobby and Athena are practically his parents.” _ But it would be nice to have him with us. _

Pepa tsked. “You silly boy, you should ask him to come. I’m sure he could use a vacation as well, with everything he’s been through. And I know Oscar and Julia and their girls would love to meet him! My brother is finally more open about these things, ever since Rosa and Isabel both came out to him. Julia too, though it took more time. My sister-in-law can be very stubborn sometimes.”

“Tía, what are you talking about?” He was very flushed. 

“Rosa came out as bi a last year, and Isabel told them she was gay not long after. Don’t you talk to your cousins, m’hijo?”

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. “Of course I know Tía, Rosa and I talk all the time. Well, as much as Rosa talks anyway. But what does that have to do with Buck coming to the quinces?”

Pepa gave him a baffled look. “Well, I figured you were hesitant to take your boyfriend to your Tía and Tío in New York, and I was letting you know that they are okay with it.”

Eddie just stared at her in shock. “Buck...Buck isn’t my boyfriend, Tía.”

Her expression turned to surprise as well. “He isn’t? Could have fooled me. What are you waiting for?”

Eddie took a large sip of his beer. He did not want to have this conversation in the middle of family Thanksgiving. “Can we not, Tía?”

“I don’t understand you Eddie. You of all people should know that you have to grab love when you have it, you can’t waste time.” 

He ignored her. _ I can’t ruin what Buck and I have to ask for more. What we are has to be enough. _

She waved to someone over his shoulder. “Evan, m’hijo, come over here and give me a hug, I missed you!” Eddie turned to see Buck with Christopher on his back, heading their way.

“Hi Pepa, how are you? Did you enjoy your trip? How have we not seen you until now?” asked Buck.

“Seems like you boys have been busy the past couple of weeks. I felt so bad that I was gone when Eddie got hurt, but I’m glad you were around to take care of him.” Buck blushed and ducked his head. _ God he’s so beautiful. _

“That’s what friends are for, right Pepa?” said Buck.

“Indeed,” but she shot Eddie a reproving glance over Buck’s shoulder as she gave him one of her all-encompassing hugs. Then she pinched Christopher’s cheeks, making him giggle, before pulling him off of Buck’s back and into her arms. 

“Mmmm my wonderful boy, it's so good to see you!” she exclaimed, covering Christopher’s face in kisses and tickling him. Eddie watched his son fondly, and glanced over at Buck to see a similar expression on his face. 

Pepa put Christopher down and crouched so she could look at him. “Hey m’hijo, I was just talking to your Daddy about Christmas. Are you excited to visit New York?”

“Yes! I’m so excited, we’ve never been! The cousins always come here, but now I get to visit New York City, it’s going to be awesome. Daddy said we’re staying two whole weeks so we can see everything and go everywhere, even though we have to visit family. Oh and Diana’s quinces! I’ve never been to one, it sounds like so much fun!” Christopher was grinning from ear to ear as he rambled, and it warmed Eddie’s heart. He was so glad to finally be able to do something that made his son so happy. 

“That all sounds very, _ very _ exciting Christopher! I’m not staying the whole time, but I’ll be there for the quinces! Is Evan going with you guys?”

_ What is she doing?? _

Christopher gasped. “Daddy!” he said, turning to Eddie. “We didn’t invite Buck to New York!” He spun to face Buck. “Bucky, you have to come with us, you can’t miss Christmas in New York! And you have to come to the quinceañera before Christmas and meet all the cousins!”

Buck looked at Eddie, slight panic clear on his face. He obviously had no clue what to say to Christopher. “Hey buddy,” said Eddie “I’m sure Buck already has Christmas plans, right Buck?”

Buck looked down uncomfortably. “Uh, actually, I don’t. I think I was just going to tag along wherever Maddie went, but she’s going through a lot with the Doug stuff? I think she and Chim are just going to do something quiet.”

“What about Bobby and Athena?” Now Buck was giving him a confused look. Seemed to be going around. 

“They’re going to Athena’s mom with Michael and the kids, you know that Eddie, we were all talking about it at breakfast yesterday.” _ Oh, right. _

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Forgot.” said Eddie. “Well in that case, want to take two weeks off and come to New York with us?”

Eddie would do _ literally anything _ to keep the look of happy surprise on Buck’s face at his question. _ Coming with us to visit family makes him so happy? _

“That would be so cool Eddie! Christmas in New York? Sounds magical, right Christopher?”

Christopher smiled up at Buck. “Please, please come Bucky!”

“Yes, you should definitely go Evan, it sounds like just what everyone needs,” Pepa chimed in. 

Buck smiled at Eddie, his face shining. Eddie’s heart stopped. 

“I’ll start making arrangements when we get back to your place Eddie. This is going to be such a great Christmas!”

_ What have I gotten myself into? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is THE Rosa Diaz. I saw some fics and headcanons where she and Eddie are cousins and I was like YES ABSOLUTELY. (Bi cousins for the win! :'D) (Also, the actor who plays Rosa's dad, Danny Trejo? Oscar Diaz as Eddie's uncle is my new favorite thing. Go watch the Game Night episode of B99 if you don't know what I'm talking about.) 
> 
> We don't know Rosa's sister's names or ages in canon, so I made up some. In my head Adelia is Diana's mom, and Isabel (named for her badass Abuelita, obviously) is like mid-twenties? Rosa is a middle child, don't fight me on this. She totally is.
> 
> *Edit  
I changed Adriana to Adelita (Adelia, but her fam calls her the diminutive) because Eddie's sister is canonically Adriana, and while I'm so down for cousins to have the same name (and I LOVE the name Adriana), I felt like it could get confusing when writing.
> 
> *Edit2  
Here is a link to a thing I posted on tumblr about my Diaz family tree headcanon, because I was getting confused trying to keep them all organized in my head :'D  
[Diaz Family](https://nilshki.tumblr.com/post/189368464139/lolz-friends-i-actually-spent-time-making-this-so)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again! It’s a long one folks 😂
> 
> Huge thanks to [chelecheese](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelecheese/pseuds/chelecheese) for beta reading! It’s the first chapter with a beta reader so quality is probably a bit better lol! Enjoy!
> 
> For my headcanon Diaz family, see this link to my Tumblr post. I was getting confused so I made a family tree ☺️  
[Diaz Family](https://nilshki.tumblr.com/post/189368464139/lolz-friends-i-actually-spent-time-making-this-so)

Buck had only been on a plane a few times, and somehow each new trip was worse than the one before. He’d have thought with the job he did, running into danger all the time, something like flying wouldn’t faze him. _ I rappel down twenty story buildings, for fuck’s sake. _

That apparently didn’t stop his heart from beating right out of his chest as he sat in the aisle seat next to Christopher. Eddie and the kid were cool as cucumbers. They hadn’t even taken off yet, and Buck was shaking and felt like he was going to throw up. 

Eddie had asked him if he was okay earlier, while in the terminal. At that point he had just been bouncing his leg and biting his nails. Through check in and security, it was all he could do to stay calm so Eddie and Christopher wouldn’t notice. “Just excited energy man,” he’d said to brush it off. But right now he felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

“Hey Christopher,” he heard Eddie say. “Do you want the window seat? So you can watch the take off and landing?” Christopher must have agreed because Buck felt, rather than saw, Eddie switch seats with his son. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the seat in front of him, hadn’t stopped gripping the armrests. 

He jumped a bit when he felt Eddie’s hand on his shoulder and turned to look at him. And promptly got lost in those big, brown eyes. He didn’t hear anything Eddie was saying, though he knew he was talking. 

“Hey, Buck, hello? Can you hear me? Take a couple deep breaths. Can you take a breath for me, querido?” 

Buck felt Eddie’s hands on his face and smoothing his hair. He followed Eddie’s lead and took a couple of deep, slow breaths. The pressure in his chest eased a little. “That’s the second time you called me that.”

Eddie looked relieved and baffled at the same time. “Good, that’s better. What are you talking about?”

“You called me querido just now, that’s the second time you’ve said that to me.” He loved the way Eddie blushed. 

“Uh, yeah, it’s a term of endearment. I call Christopher querido too? Abuelita calls me querido, cariño, you know?”

_ I know that you use those, but you’re more likely to use m’hijo when you talk to Christopher. I’ve heard you use cariño a handful of times, including when you talk to me. But I’ve never heard you say querido to anyone else. Why is that? _

Buck rolled his eyes. “I know what it means Eddie. I told you already, I don’t speak Spanish _ well _ , but I understand enough to get by. I spent that summer in Argentina, remember? I’m by no means fluent, but I know _ some _ things.”

Eddie looked a little pale. “So...so when I say things in Spanish, you understand them?”

“I mean, not everything. You also talk really fast when you speak Spanish, and under your breath a lot, so it’s hard to follow. I know all the curse words you spew though, those were popular at the bar I worked at.” Buck grinned. 

Eddie let out a little sigh and leaned back, also smiling. “Feeling better?”

Buck realized his heartbeat had slowed considerably and his breathing felt normal. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah, thanks Eddie. Not sure what happened.”

“Well, it looked like the beginning of panic attack. Do you know what triggered it?”

“I’m not really sure, I just don’t love flying? In my head I know it’s totally safe, but if I think at all about how high off the ground we go and how there’s literally nothing holding us up…” He trailed off as his breathing increased in speed again. 

“Hey, hey, look at me,” said Eddie, catching his chin with his hand. _ Back to looking at those damn gorgeous eyes. _

“Breathe. You’re okay, I’m okay, Christopher is okay, he’s having the time of his life.” Buck looked over to see Christopher bouncing up and down with his face pressed to the window. They had apparently taken off while Buck was out of it, and Christopher seemed enthralled by the view. Buck gave Eddie a small smile.

“He really loves this.” 

“Yeah, he does,” replied Eddie. “Listen, it’s not that long of a flight. Want to take a nap, or watch a movie? I think a distraction is the best idea.”

“I don’t want to get caught up in my head again.”

“I’ll watch with you. We both know I don’t shut up during movies, so you’ll have constant commentary.” Eddie smiled at him, and everything felt right with the world. _ You’re such a sap, dude. _

“Okay cool. What should we watch?” 

“I downloaded all of the John Wick films to my laptop; I figured it would get me through both flights.” 

Eddie put down the tray table and set his laptop on it. He plugged in two sets of headphones and handed one to Buck before pulling up the movie. Buck tried to get into a position that was comfortable enough for him to both see the screen and not get tangled in the wires from the headphones. 

Eddie noticed him struggling and smirked. “C’mere,” he said. He moved the laptop to Buck’s tray table and pushed Buck so he was facing forward again. 

Then Eddie put his head on Buck’s shoulder. Buck froze. “Uh, what are you doing?” he asked.

“This way we can both see, and you’re taller so this is more comfortable than you trying to fold yourself in half to lean on me. Watch the movie Buck. I want to make fun of it.”

Buck chuckled and leaned further down in his seat, finally relaxing. He watched the movie, laughing at Eddie’s comments and arguing the merits of the movie. But the panic attack must have taken more out of him than he realized, because he felt his eyelids getting heavy and it was harder to focus on the screen. 

“Go to sleep,” Eddie whispered in his ear. “You know how the movie ends anyway.”

So he drifted off, his head resting on Eddie’s. 

He woke up approximately 5 hours later to Eddie shaking his shoulder. “Hey man, wake up. Hellooooo, sleeping beauty, wake uuuuuuup.”

Buck shook his head and laughed. “Did you just call me sleeping beauty?”

“Dude you were out cold, snoring and drooling. I almost had to...slap you to get you wake up.”

“I don’t drool! Or snore!”

He heard Christopher giggle and looked over at him. “You don’t drool Bucky, but you do snore!” 

Buck put his hand over his heart and pulled a face of mock hurt. “Christopher! I thought you were on _ my _side.” Christopher laughed harder at that and Eddie chuckled. 

“Dude, we’ve landed, we need to get off the plane. Welcome to New York.”

**

Eddie smiled and waved as he spotted Rosa and Isabel waiting just beyond baggage claim. He motioned for Buck to follow him and Christopher, and walked over to them. Isabel was bouncing on her toes and Rosa was just standing there, arms crossed and face expressionless- as per usual. 

“Diaz,” she said shortly as they approached. 

“Diaz,” he replied, grinning. “Good to see you too. Hey Christopher, say hi to your cousins Rosa and Isabel.”

“Uch, Rosa you’re impossible,” scoffed Isabel. “Eddie, come here!” She threw herself into his arms for a hug, which he returned enthusiastically, laughing.

“Good to see you honey.” He put her down and turned to see Rosa crouched down, talking to Christopher, who looked enthralled. He hoped she wasn’t telling him any gory stories from the precinct. Christopher would eat that up, but Eddie didn’t need to deal with more nightmares than necessary on this trip. 

“Hey Christopher! It’s so good to see you, it’s been forever! Come here big guy, can I have a hug?” Isabel crouched next to him and held out her arms, and Christopher went into them. 

“Who’s this?” asked Rosa, nodding towards Buck, who had been standing there with all their bags. 

“Hey, I’m Buck,” he said, holding out a hand. Rosa shook it and looked Buck up and down. 

“Not bad, Diaz,” she said to Eddie, without taking her eyes off Buck. _ God I forgot how blunt she is _. 

Buck flushed but smirked at her. “You’re not so bad yourself, Rosa, was it? It’s nice to meet you Rosa.” She returned his grin and shook his hand again. 

_ What the hell was that? Does he flirt with every girl he meets? _

Buck turned. “And you must be Isabel then, it’s really nice to meet you too. Damn, all you Diaz’s are gorgeous.”

Isabel smiled, threw Eddie a glance, and then launched herself into Buck’s arms. “Sorry, I’m a hugger, unlike my dear sister. Welcome to New York Buck, it’s really wonderful to meet you.”

Buck looked a little shell-shocked but he was smiling broadly and laughing with Isabel. Eddie had to stop himself from growling a little. _ She’s gay dude, she’s not into you! She’s just really touchy! Argh. _

Eddie cleared his throat. “We should get going, shouldn’t we?” he asked. “I remember it being kind of a long drive to Brooklyn from here.”

“Oh, didn’t Mamá tell you? There isn’t room at their house for you guys, Adelita’s in-laws are staying there. You guys are staying at my place,” said Isabel.

“Your place?” asked Eddie. “Since when do you have your own place?” 

“Like six months. C’mon, let’s get in the car, I’ll tell you on the way. See you at Vibe tonight, Rosa?”

“Maybe. Bye guys, it’s good to see you all. Good to meet you Buck, love you Christopher. Bye Eddie,” she deadpanned. 

He rolled his eyes. “Love you too, Rosa.” She smirked and walked away. 

Eddie hung back and helped Buck with the bags as they followed Isabel out to the parking lot. “Dude,” he said under his breath. “You aren’t allowed to hit on my _ baby _cousin, okay?”

Buck’s eyes widened. “I wouldn’t man, I’m not that person! Also, isn’t she gay? I’m not exactly the type to go after people I have no shot with.”

“I know, I’m just making sure. She’s young and pretty and I feel like I’ve gotta look out for her.”

Buck still looked a little insulted, and nodded curtly. _ Shit, did I overreact? _

They climbed into the car. As they started driving he asked again. “So when did you move out of your parent’s place, Isabel? 

She grinned. “I moved out like a month after I met Odeya. My girlfriend, I told you about her, right?”

“Yeah, you did. Were your parents giving you a hard time?” 

“No, thank goodness, not at all. After Rosa came out things were tough, but they’re cool now. So I felt like I could tell them. And they’ve met Odeya and they really like her, so it’s awesome. But I’m twenty-five Eddie, I have a business degree and a job, but I was still living with my parents.”

Eddie smiled. “Yeah, I hear that.” 

“Hmm, yeah Eddie, didn’t you move to a different state than your parents?” interjected Buck.

“Shut up man.” 

“Yeah, he did,” laughed Isabel. “So he really can’t judge me.”

“I wasn’t judging! It must have been a while since we talked because I didn’t know any of this.”

“I guess. Hey, you two alright back there?” She glanced at Buck and Christopher in the rearview. 

“We’re great!” said Christopher. “I want to hear about your girlfriend, Daddy doesn’t tell me anything!”

“That’s because I don’t gossip about my cousins, Christopher,” said Eddie. “Unlike the rest of my family,” he added under his breath. 

Isabel laughed at that, then started telling them about Odeya. She owned a club called Vibe that was apparently a hotspot, because Diana had begged for her quinces to be there, and the owners had agreed. Isabel talked about the apartments above where Odeya lived, and the studio in the same building that Isabel had moved into. She went on and on about her girlfriend’s singing voice, which made Eddie grin. _ She’s really in love with her. And it sounds like this girl loves her back. Do they know how lucky they are? _

When Isabel had mentioned that Odeya was bunking at hers while the guys were in town, Eddie had balked. He had expected to use the hospitality of his family, not a total stranger. But Isabel was firm, saying there was more room for three people in the apartment than there was in her studio. 

When they arrived at the apartment, he realized she was right. For a New York place it was big, but they would still be a bit on top of each other. He couldn’t imagine how small the studio was. 

Isabel turned to Eddie and Buck as Christopher went off to explore the space. “Tonight’s actually an open mic downstairs, Odeya will probably sing a lot but there will be opportunities for other people too. Our friend James, he also owns the place and lives in the other studio? He offered to stay in the apartment with Christopher so you two could have some time to unwind after he goes to sleep. You guys should come down, it will be really fun.”

Buck looked excited at the prospect of a night out, and Eddie wanted to go, if only to keep the joyful look on Buck’s face. Some music and beer would be nice, too.

Eddie leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Thanks honey, we’ll talk to Christopher and see if he’ll be okay with that. I’ll text you?” She nodded 

“Bye guys!” She blew a kiss and left, closing the door behind her.

Then there was the issue of sleeping arrangements. The couch pulled out, so someone could sleep there. But Christopher wanted both Eddie and Buck. Eddie walked into the bedroom to check out the situation, and found an absolutely oversized bed. Big enough for the three of them, which he told Buck and Christopher.

Christopher grinned widely. “That’s awesome Daddy!” He turned to Buck. “Will you sleep next to us, Bucky?”

Buck was flushed but he crouched down and ruffled Christopher’s hair. “I would be honored buddy.” He flicked his eyes up to look at Eddie but quickly looked away.

“Alright men, let’s get unpacked and changed so we can hunt down some dinner.”

“Sir yes sir!” said Buck with a smirk, and Christopher giggled.

Eddie rolled his eyes, but smiled. The playful banter was back, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**

Buck was three beers in and feeling good. He was going to have to cut himself off soon, since he didn’t want to be drunk around Christopher, even if the kid was sleeping. Eddie was a bit behind, so he’d gone to the bar for another. 

He’d actually been gone for a while. Buck looked over at the bar and his stomach flipped when he saw Eddie. Standing at the bar. Talking to this girl. She looked young, and cute. Short, super curly brown hair, pale skin. She was incredibly animated, laughing outrageously at whatever Eddie had said and touching his arm. Buck saw red for a second. _ It’s not like he’s even that funny, what is she laughing at. Wait, why is he laughing back? _

Eddie had moved in a little closer and whispered something in the girl’s ear, causing her to blush and giggle. Buck felt sick, and turned back to finish off the last of his beer, trying to focus on the person on stage who was attempting karaoke. 

So he wasn’t paying attention and jumped when Eddie returned and clapped him on the shoulder. He turned to glare at him. 

“Woah, man, what’s the problem? You’re not usually an angry drunk,” said Eddie. 

“How can you be on my back about some mild flirting with young, pretty, girls when you’re over there hitting on a girl who can’t possibly be older than 25! You’re in your thirties dude, that’s weird!”

Eddie looked baffled, but laughed. That made Buck angrier. “Seriously man, why is it okay for you but not for me? Or is it just because she was your cousin? Can I go hit on that girl too, would that be cool? I’m probably closer to her age anyway.”

“Buck, Buck, stop, please.” Eddie had gotten control of his laughter but was still grinning. “Buck, that was Odeya, Isabel’s girlfriend? She came to introduce herself to me, we were making fun of Isabel.”

“But...she touched your arm. And you whispered in her ear. Where is Isabel anyway, why isn’t she with her?”

Eddie chuckled again. “Isabel, the lucky girl, found someone who is somehow more touchy-feely than she is. And I was talking into her ear because it’s fucking loud in here and she couldn’t hear the nickname we gave Isabel when she was a baby.”

Buck felt stupid. “Sorry man, I didn’t mean to imply...I just...it didn’t seem fair.” _ I’m the only one who should be allowed to flirt with you. _

“No problem dude. Look, they’re coming over now, let me introduce you.”

The two brunette girls walked over to their table with their arms around each other’s waists. Buck felt embarrassed all over again. They were clearly in love with each other. 

“Hey Buck, Eddie! You guys enjoying your night?” asked Isabel

“It’s great, this is a really cool place!” responded Buck. 

“Well that’s all thanks to this amazing woman. Buck, this is Odeya, my girlfriend. Dey, this is Eddie’s _ friend _, Buck.” Odeya raised a brow at Isabel, but reached her hand out to shake Buck’s. 

“It’s really nice to meet you. Is it okay if I give you a hug?”

“For sure, bring it in,” said Buck, smiling. At least she didn’t realize he’s been staring daggers at her earlier. Or she at least didn’t have any hard feelings about it. 

The two women sat down with them and they all chatted for a while, listening to the different people who were getting up to sing. Some were better than others, but Isabel and Odeya cheered everyone on regardless, and Buck and Eddie joined in. 

Odeya turned to Isabel after a pretty decent rendition of Jordin Sparks’ "Tattoo". “Hey babe, are you going to sing me your song tonight?”

Isabel grinned. “But if I sing it, who’s going to dance with you?”

“You never dance with me, I just sit and listen to you serenade me. It’s the only time you sing in public, and it’s my favorite part of open mic!”

“You’re such a sap babe, I love you.” Isabel pinched her girlfriend’s nose. “But tonight I wanna dance with you, so I was going to make Eddie sing it.”

Eddie’s head shot up in alarm. “Wait, what?!”

Buck snorted and felt his eyes go wide. He punched Eddie’s arm, exclaiming “I didn’t know you sang, man!”

“I don’t,” said Eddie shortly.

“Yes you do, you have a great voice!” chimed Isabel. “You have to go up there and sing ‘El Amor De Mi Vida’ so I can slow dance with el amor de mi vida,” she added, shooting a cheesy look at Odeya. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Isabel, it’s not like I know all the words or how that goes, I didn’t practice.”

“Okay first of all, _ Edmundo _, it’s fucking karaoke, the words are in front of you. Secondly, I have a very clear memory of you singing that exact song at my quinces so Abuelita and Abuelito could dance to it-“

“Isabel, that was ten years ago!”

“-AND THIRDLY, are you seriously going to sit there and tell me you don’t know every single Ricky Martin song backwards and forwards to the point that you could literally start singing any of them and nail every note, every syllable? Because I know you and I call bullshit.” She leveled him with a glare that had even Buck getting nervous, though he was laughing at the cousins’ antics. 

“Jesus, Isabel, when did your language get so dirty?” She just kept staring at him. Buck looked from one to the other, then exchanged amused glances with Odeya. The other woman whispered to him, “Isabel is really good at getting what she wants with that face, I wonder if it works on family.”

Buck grinned and whispered back, “Eddie does the same thing when he’s trying to reprimand his kid but can’t pull it off. There’s no bite behind it, but it sure looks scary.” They both giggled. 

Isabel had switched tactics, turning her glare into a pout. “Please, please, please Eddie? I know you can, won’t you do this little thing for me? You’ll make me so happy, pleeeeeasssseee?”

Eddie sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, fine! Tell the band I’m up next. You so owe me for this,” he said darkly, pointing his finger at her. 

She squealed and jumped up to hug him. Buck heard Eddie grunt with the force of her embrace, and stifled a chuckle. Not well enough apparently, since Eddie flipped him off behind her back. He and Odeya collapsed into more laughter. 

Isabel turned to kiss Odeya’s cheek, then ran off to the stage. 

“Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?” groaned Eddie.

“We really appreciate it Eddie,” Odeya reassured him. “Meet me next to the stage in two minutes, I’ll show you how everything works.” She walked off after her girlfriend. 

Buck looked at Eddie. “C’mon dude, apparently you know this song by heart. It’ll be great!”

“Yeah, I do, but I didn’t expect to get called out on my Ricky Martin obsession tonight!”

“I mean, you’re visiting family, I don’t know why you thought all your embarrassing secrets were going to stay hidden. GO, get up there and sing your heart out!” He pushed Eddie off his chair and shooed him towards the stage, grinning at Eddie’s glare.

Eddie walked up onto the stage and grabbed the microphone as Odeya and Isabel moved to the dance floor. The first few notes started and Buck watched Eddie close his eyes and take a deep breath. Then he started to sing.

_ Holy fuck. _Eddie had a fantastic voice. The song ebbed and flowed perfectly from his chest, and the longer he sang the more he sank into it, really feeling the music. Buck tried to focus on the couple twirling around the dance floor, Isabel with her hands on Odeya’s waist and the other woman’s arms around Isabel’s neck. They looked so beautifully in love. But he kept going back to Eddie, to Eddie’s face as he sang the words that were obviously so familiar to him. 

“_ Que lo nuestro vuelva a ser/ Porque pude comprender/ Que eres el amor de mi vida/ Me lo dice mi corazón que no te olvida/ Ahora tengo una razón para existir para vivir/ Y puedo ser feliz, porque ahora se/ Que eres el amor de mi vida…” _

Eddie was finally speaking Spanish at a pace Buck could follow, since it was to a melody, and it was doing something to Buck’s heart. It was beating incredibly fast, and understanding the words made it ache. 

Then Eddie looked right at him. And kept singing. _ I’m pretty sure I’ve died and gone to heaven. Eddie Diaz is singing a love song and he’s looking at me. Have I entered some parallel dimension? _

Buck felt like his chest would burst and his face must have been red as a fire engine because he felt _ so hot _. Like he was going to combust. 

The song ended and there were cheers and whoops from the audience, the loudest coming from Isabel. Buck just sat there in shock, unable to pull himself out of the trance Eddie’s singing had brought on.

He didn’t stop staring at Eddie the whole time the other man put back the microphone, waved at the crowd, jumped off the stage, or walked back towards their table. At some point Eddie noticed his gaze and started scratching the back of his head and grinning. 

“Hey Buck, you alright?” asked Isabel, reaching the table at the same time as Eddie. “You look like someone just clubbed you over the head.”

“Wha- yeah, yeah I’m fine. Eddie you didn’t tell me you were a professional level singer!” he exclaimed.

Eddie smiled and looked at his hands. “Only when it comes to Ricky Martin,” he said sheepishly. 

Buck smiled. “Well, it was beautiful anyway man, good job.” They stared at each other for a minute. Buck kept getting lost in Eddie’s eyes. Then he heard someone clear their throat and he looked over at the girls. “And you two,” he added. “You guys were adorable, my heart can’t take how cute you look dancing together!”

Isabel beamed and Odeya blushed, but leaned in to give her girlfriend a kiss. She whispered something Buck couldn’t hear, but it made Isabel smile wider. Odeya turned to Eddie and said “Thank you. Really, that was one of the best things I’ve done in a while, and it’s thanks to you.”

Eddie tried to shrug it off, “It’s no big deal, happy to help.”

Buck grinned. He knew Eddie would rather have avoided this, but it seemed he enjoyed it in the end. _ Maybe I should tell Chim and Hen that we should go out to karaoke more often. _ He shot Eddie a mischievous smile and Eddie gave him a warning look in return. 

“C’mon Buck, it’s getting late, and we’re taking Christopher to the Empire State Building and the World Trade Center tomorrow morning. Let’s go to bed.”

Buck swallowed hard at Eddie’s words but forced himself to act casual. But he didn’t quite miss the looks Isabel and Odeya exchanged, or the flush on Eddie’s face when he saw their glances.

But all of them ignored it, and Buck and Eddie said their good nights and went upstairs. 

To the bed. That they were sharing. With Christopher in the middle, but still.

It was going to be a long night.

**

Eddie always forgot how overwhelming it was to be with his family. He loved them all, dearly. And they all got along, for the most part.

They were just, _ a lot _. Even when it was just his parents and his sisters, he often felt stifled if he hung around too long. When his aunts and uncles were involved, it happened faster. 

That wasn’t to say he wasn’t enjoying himself. Diana’s quinces was definitely a success. The kids looked like they were having an awesome time. Isabel had gotten Odeya to sing “La Llorona” for the crowd, and his Abuelita had cried. She really did have an amazing voice. 

He wandered around the room, talking to cousins he hadn’t seen in awhile, meeting new partners and new kids. His cousin Hector had just become a grandfather at the young age of forty-five. He talked to Eddie for a while about how crazy it was that his oldest daughter was now a mother, and how blessed he felt to have a new baby around. Eddie grinned and congratulated him. “It’s always amazing how our family keeps growing, isn’t it?”

Hector had smiled and clapped Eddie’s back. “It’s good to see you cousin. I’m going to find my wife and get her this drink.”

Eddie spotted Rosa talking to his sister Adriana, and walked over to say hello. 

“Sup, Diaz?” said Rosa as he approached. He smiled and said “Just came to say hi. Hi big sis, how are you?” he asked, pecking her cheek.

“Good, baby brother. Have you said hello to Mom, Papá, and Sophia yet?” 

“Yeah, I talked to them for a while when we first arrived. Introduced them to Buck, and left Christopher to hang out with Mom and Papá. He’s having a ball, he loves all of the dancing.”

“Wait, I haven’t gotten to meet your boyfriend yet! Where is he?” Adriana exclaimed. 

“Adriana, we’ve been over this, Buck isn’t my boyfriend.”

“Yeah but you want him to be,” interjected Rosa. _ What a fantastic time to enter the conversation, dearest cousin. _

“And what makes you think that?” asked Eddie, schooling his features so he wouldn’t give anything away. 

“Dude, you stare at him all of the time. From what Christopher’s told me, Buck is basically a co-parent. You guys are always together, you always talk about him, and you always get this sappy look on your face when you talk about how amazing he is, with Christopher, with you, with Tía Pepa and Abuelita. You’re basically dating already, just without sex. Or talking about your feelings, which is arguably more important.”

Eddie felt his face go hot. _ We don’t act like we’re dating! Do we? Shit. _

“Listen, Eddie, I’m not sure why you’re freaking out about this? You clearly love him, why haven’t you done anything about it?” asked Adriana.

“Sis, just because I love him doesn’t mean I’m in love with him. He’s my best friend, I can’t screw that up.” _ Just because I _ am _ in love with him doesn’t mean I’m going to be with him. _

Rosa just leveled a stare at him. “Eddie, how many fantasies have you had about the man?”

“Ew Rosa, I don’t want to hear about my brother’s fantasies! I’m outta this conversation. Eddie,” she said, grabbing his chin with her hand. “Eddie, you know I love you no matter what? We all do? Mom and Papá and Sophia and Abuelita and the whole family. It doesn’t matter to us who you love, and I thought we made that clear before now. But if we hadn’t I’m telling you now. We. Don’t. Care. As long as you’re in a healthy and happy relationship.” She kissed his cheek and walked off, leaving him speechless. 

He was jarred back to reality by Rosa punching his arm. Hard. “Damn it, what was that for?”

“For being a fucking idiot, that’s what,” she growled. “I had the guts to admit to myself and eventually everyone else that I was bi because I thought you were too, and that you were open about it. But I was talking to your sister before you came over, and you never came out to them? Like they all knew you were but never talked about it. Does anyone in your family talk about anything?”

He just stared at her in open-mouth shock. “Is...is _ Rosa Diaz _ telling _ me _that I need to be more communicative? This is what they mean by the pot calling the kettle black, you know?”

“You’re missing the point. Why didn’t you tell us? I always assumed but I realized you never actually told me. What gives?”

Eddie was floundering. “Rosa I - I didn’t...I’m not, I mean, I AM but…” Rosa just stared at him expectantly.

“Rosa, why does everyone think I’m bi? I literally only figured it out last month!”

She actually looked shocked to hear that. “But...you had a boyfriend. In high school, Jack or whatever his name was?”

“I-what? Is that what everyone thought?? I _ just _figured out in therapy that I was attracted to him back then, how did everyone assume we were dating?”

Rosa’s expression turned amused. “I only visited Texas once when he was in the picture and the whole time I was worried that you two were going to jump each other in public. Seems like even when you’re oblivious, you aren’t subtle.”

_ Shit, shit shit shit. Not subtle? What does that mean for now...for Buck? _

“Is that what Adriana meant? When she said they tried to let me know it didn’t matter? They thought I was dating him and they were cool with it? How have we never discussed this?” Eddie ran his hands through his hair frantically. 

“Hey, hey, Eddie, calm down. It’s all good. You’ve figured yourself out, and now you know your family is cool with it. Whatever happens, we’re all here for you. But you gotta stop pretending you aren’t in love with Buck. We all know, and we all just want you and Christopher to be happy.”

Eddie took a deep breath. “Thanks, Rosa. I appreciate you saying that. But what I said before hasn’t changed - I can’t lose Buck as a best friend, I can’t risk it if he doesn’t return my feelings. We need him in our lives, it doesn’t matter how.” She looked at him a little sadly. 

“Okay Eddie, whatever you say. Listen, I’m going to get another drink, I’ll see you later.” She walked away. 

Shaking his head to clear it, Eddie kept walking towards where he had left Buck and Christopher. He bumped into his Tía Imelda and her husband, and got caught in a conversation with them. Tía started talking about the elementary school she worked at in Miami.

“All I’m saying is, I don’t care what you do in private, you know? But I teach third grade, and these women come to pick up a little girl, and they are holding hands. And they kissed in the parking lot! How do I explain that to eight year olds?”

Eddie swallowed hard. “It’s not that complicated Tía, you just tell them that the girl has two moms. Lots of people do, it’s not that crazy.”

His Tío shook his head. “They shouldn’t be flaunting it in public like that. Kids are impressionable and it’s very confusing for them. And it shouldn’t be your Tía’s job to have to explain it to them. And that little girl? It must be so complicated for her!”

Eddie clenched his fists and struggled not to start yelling. He loved his Tía and Tío, they really were good people, in general. He knew they loved their children and their family. But they had such backwards views sometimes. He wondered what they would say if Ramon or Alexandra came out to them? He had no idea if either of them actually were anything other than cis and straight, but if they were? How could they possibly feel safe, knowing what their parents thought? It made Eddie feel physically ill. He couldn’t be part of this conversation anymore. 

“Excuse me Tía, Tío, I need to use the restroom. It’s wonderful to see you.” He kissed both of their cheeks and walked off. He had to prevent himself from storming. 

He walked into the men’s room, found an empty stall, and locked himself in. He leaned his head against the wall and made himself take deep breaths. He felt shaky and wanted to cry. _ How do people I love think the way they do? How do they not see? Even if they don’t understand, how do they not have compassion? There are real people in the world who’s existences they dismiss like it’s nothing. _

_ What about me? What would they think if they knew I was bi? _

He felt the tears welling up and squeezed his eyes shut. His breath was coming in short pants. 

He jumped when he heard a knock on the door, and tried to gather himself. 

“Hey, Eddie, are you in there? Are you okay?” It was Buck. Eddie cleared his throat. 

“Uh, yeah man, I’m fine, why? Is Christopher okay?”

“He’s fine, he’s with your parents. Can you come out of there?”

Eddie unlocked the door and stepped out, arms crossed. “What’s up, Buck?”

“You look like you can use some air. Want to go upstairs for a minute?”

“I- yeah, actually, I could use a minute of quiet. Let’s go.”

They left the club and went up the back stairs to the apartment. Buck grabbed them a couple of water bottles and joined Eddie on the couch. 

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked. 

Eddie sighed. “Just my aunt and uncle being homophobic, nothing new. I know what they think but we manage to avoid talking about it enough that I can ignore it. It’s not like they’re bad people? But they have some seriously damaging opinions. Like, do they know people in their family are gay? Do they know they hurt them when they say things are are homophobic and transphobic and frankly awful?” He felt the pitch of his voice rise a bit and stopped talking before he choked up. 

Buck put his hand over Eddie’s. “Hey man, it’s okay, I get it. Family can be tough, even when you love them. Do you think they know about Rosa and Isabel?”

“I can’t see how they wouldn’t, those two are totally out. Which, like, not even a little compassion for the feelings of your nieces? And there are a lot of cousins, there’s a good chance some of them are queer and haven’t come out.” _ Like me _. 

“That really sucks. I feel like someone should talk to them about that.” said Buck. 

“Probably. I would, but I don’t think I could do it without getting crazy angry and yelling. Maybe I’ll talk to one of their kids, make sure they’re doing okay, and see if they can figure things out. It just sucks, because we have such an open and kind family? And they usually are too? Except about this.”

He looked up at Buck’s face and grabbed his hand. “Thank you for getting me out of there for a minute, I really needed it.”

Buck smiled. “Not a problem dude, I’m here for you. You know, I could always just go make out with Ramon in front of them. He was hitting on me before anyway. I’ll just go fly my bi flag and make them confront it.”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open. “Wh-wait, wait, there’s a lot to unpack there. First off, Ramon is their son, so probably not the best choice for that. Also, Ramon is gay? Since when?”

“I don’t know man, but he definitely asked me out, so he’s into dudes.”

Eddie had to control his jealousy. “Did...did you say yes? Also, you’re bi? How did this not come up before now?”

“I did not say yes, he lives in Miami and I live in LA, wasn’t exactly conducive to a relationship. And, yeah? It’s not like I was hiding it man. I haven’t hooked up with a guy in a while but that’s mostly because I stopped hooking up altogether after Taylor Kelly. But I told you about that date I went on a couple months after Ali left - Alex? It didn’t go anywhere but I thought I mentioned it.”

Eddie was still in shock. “I guess I just assumed Alex was a girl. I don’t know why.” 

Buck laughed. “I should have shown you a picture. He was hot, worth showing off. Oh well. Anyway, yeah I’ve never made a big deal about it because I don’t think of it as a big deal. Anymore, at least. The rest of the 118 knows, I guess because they knew me when I was Buck 1.0 and I’d sleep with anybody. You came after, I guess it makes sense you didn’t get the memo.”

They sat in silence for a bit, but it was comfortable. Well, mostly. Eddie was warring in his head. _ Should I tell him about me? _

Eventually he spoke up. “Uh, Buck, I’m glad you told me. I actually was working through some things in therapy, things I haven’t had the chance to talk to you about yet? And one of those things is me figuring out that...I’m bi. And I was worried about telling you. I knew you’d be cool with it but I was worried anyway. But now I’m not, because you get it.”

Buck turned to face Eddie. “I do get it. I’m really proud of you for figuring yourself out, Eddie. It’s a big, scary step, I remember. I’m here to help you if you need it, you know?”

“You’re always here Buck, even when I stupidly push you away. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

They both blushed and looked away. 

“Uh, anyway, we should get back to the party, I’m sure people are missing us by now.”

Buck nodded. “Yeah, yeah. After you,” he gestured to the door. 

Eddie smirked. “Staring at my ass?” He heard Buck trip over his own feet and he chuckled.

“What, no, man, just because…”

Eddie turned around and put his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “I’m joking, Buck.” _ Wish I wasn’t _. “I’m bi too, remember? I know you’re a good dude. But you’re also my best friend, and I’m going to make fun of you, same as always. Nothing’s changing.”

Buck smiled, but it looked a little sad to Eddie. He wondered why. “You’re right Eddie, nothing has to change. Even if I catch you checking me out at work.” Buck’s smile turned into a shit-eating grin, and he pushed past Eddie to bound down the stairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all liked it! Come yell with me in the comments, I have too many feelings about this show!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends, we’re back with another chapter! In this one we get the song that inspired the title, “More Than You Know” by Axwell /\ Ingrosso. Go listen to the song because it’s one of my favorites 😂. 
> 
> Huge thank you’s to [chelecheese](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelecheese/pseuds/chelecheese) and [xpaperheartso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xpaperheartso/pseuds/xpaperheartso) for beta reading and giving me general encouragement and advice as I work through this monster of a fic ❤️❤️
> 
> Lemme know what you think of this chapter!

“Hey Christopher, you sure you want to do this? You can always stay.” Eddie searched his son’s eyes for some sign of hesitation, but found none.

“Nonsense, Eddito. He doesn’t want to miss out on the big cousin sleepover! Abuelita and all the second cousins, right cariño?” Abuelita smiled and ruffled Christopher’s hair.

“Yeah Daddy! It’s going to be so fun! Abuelita said there will be ice cream and hot chocolate and that we can stay up until midnight to watch the ball drop!” Eddie smiled and kissed Christopher’s forehead.

“Wow, ice cream AND hot chocolate? You lucky kid!” exclaimed Buck.

“Seriously, we’re super jealous m’hijo,” added Eddie. 

He turned to Abuelita. “Are you sure about this? It’s a lot of kids to look after.”

“I won’t be alone, m’hijo. Oscar and Julia are going to be home, I think between the three of us we can handle eight kids. Besides, Christopher is the youngest, it’s not like they need such taking care of. We’re going to have a wonderful New Year’s Eve, and this way all of my grandchildren can enjoy a night out in New York before they have to go home to their real lives.”

Just then his Tío Oscar walked into the apartment. “C’mon, Mamá, we should get going to beat traffic. You ready for a party Christopher?”

Eddie watched his son bounce with glee. He shot a glance at Buck, who grinned back at him. It was awesome to see Christopher so excited. 

He bent down to hug him goodbye. “Alright, cariño, be good for Abuelita and Tío and Tía, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too, Daddy, I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you Bucky! Happy New Year!”

He giggled as he walked out the door. 

Buck came to stand next to him as he watched Christopher walk away. Buck’s arm came up around his shoulders, and he leaned in a little. 

“That kid is so amazing,” said Buck. “He’s super brave and he’s going to have a blast with his cousins. He’s going to be fine.”

Eddie turned to him. “Yeah, I know. I still worry.”

Buck smiled. “Me too. But tonight you’ve got the night off, and a whole club filled with family, friends, and complete strangers who are ready to dance the night away. Ready to let loose?”

Eddie’s heartbeat jumped at the excited, mischievous grin on Buck’s face. 

“Yeah, let’s finish getting dressed and head downstairs. Isabel said they were opening the doors at 7, and we should get there before the mad rush.”

Soon they were downstairs with the rest of the Diaz cousins, milling around and grabbing tables before the club opened to the general public. Or at least, to those who had bought tickets to what promised to be one of the most popular New Year’s Eve parties in New York. 

Buck and Eddie snagged a table right next to the dance floor. They were quickly joined by the girls and their partners. Eddie introduced his brothers-in-law to Buck again, as well as Adelita’s husband. They all fell into easy conversation as people started coming in and the place got louder. A waitress came over and Isabel ordered a round of tequila shots for everyone. 

“Gotta get the night started off right!” She yelled as they clinked their glasses and downed the shots. Christopher was safe and taken care of, so Eddie had every intention of drinking as much as he wanted tonight. 

They all turned to the stage when Odeya got up there and yelled into the microphone. “Welcome everyone! Are you ready to celebrate the New Year at Vibe?” A cheer went up from the crowd. “Awesome, we have a great lineup planned! Our DJ is top notch and he’s going to have us dancing all night, right, Ryan?” The DJ threw up his hands and the crowd cheered. “So drink up and get on the dance floor!”

Music started pumping through the speakers and the dance floor got crowded really quickly. 

Rosa had grabbed her date and headed off to dance, as had most of the other couples at the table. 

“C’mon Eddie, let’s go dance!” said Buck.

Eddie laughed. “I’m not drunk enough for that yet. Besides,” he added, holding up his injured arm. “It’s not so easy to dance with a cast. I’m gonna get another drink from the bar, then maybe.”

Buck pouted. “Fine.”

Just then his cousin Ramon walked over to them. “Hey, Eddito! How are you, man?” He clasped Eddie’s arm and pulled him in for a quick hug. Then he turned to Buck. “Hey handsome. I know you said no to dinner, but how about a dance?”

Eddie clenched his fists. What was it with all of his cousins and Buck? Romantically or not, they were all over him.

Buck smiled. “Hell yeah, I’m so down to dance! Let’s go!” He grabbed Ramon by the hand and lead him out to the dance floor. Ramon turned around, grinning, to shoot a thumbs up at Eddie. Eddie returned it, reluctantly. Then stalked off to the bar. He definitely wasn’t drunk enough for this.   
  


**

Buck hadn’t felt this carefree in a long time. He wasn’t drunk yet, but he had never really needed to be to have fun. Being out on the dance floor, the crush of bodies, feeling the music? He forgot how much he missed it. To just forget everything else and have fun.

Sure, Ramon was hanging on him a little bit. But he danced with Isabel, then Odeya. Then Eddie’s sister Adriana, then her husband. Everyone was in a good mood, moving their bodies. Laughing good-naturedly at Buck’s poor dancing skills but cheering him on nonetheless. A stranger grabbed his hand and started dancing with him, and Buck went along. He slid his body around the new guy, throwing his arms around his shoulders and fitting their legs between each other’s. Buck threw back his head and just grooved. 

Eventually he got tired and thirsty and headed back to the table. Eddie was sitting there, alone. Brooding into his drink.

“Hey man! Why aren’t you dancing with us?”

“Told you, I’m not drunk enough yet.” Eddie muttered. 

“Well that’s because you’re drinking, what, beer?”

“No, it’s actually whiskey, thanks very much.” 

“Well then why is the glass still half full?”

“It’s good whiskey! I’m savoring!”

Buck rolled his eyes. “Eddie, my man! There is a time and place for savoring whiskey. Trust me, I’ve got some good ones at home, we can do that literally any time you want. Tonight is NOT that time and this club is NOT that place. Hey, miss, excuse me” he said, flagging down a passing waitress. 

“Hello handsome, what can I get for you boys?”

“Four tequila shots, and two Vampiros for after, please.” He flashed his flirty smile, which she returned before heading towards the bar. 

“Buck, are we planning on getting wasted?” Eddie asked, seemingly amused. 

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t get wasted from three drinks. Just drunk, which is apparently critical to you having a good time.”

The waitress returned with their drinks, and Buck rubbed his hands together gleefully. Eddie groaned. “I’m really too old to be doing tequila shots.”

“It’s New Year’s Eve, man. Live a little!”

Eddie shrugged and picked up the glass. He looked at Buck, waiting for confirmation. 

“Okay, here’s the plan. We do these two shots each. Then we sit here drinking the Vampiros until it hits. Then we fucking DANCE!” At that, Buck threw back the first shot. Eddie followed suit, and then they quickly downed the second. 

**

It didn’t take long for Eddie to feel the effects of the tequila. He and Buck were sitting in the booth at their table, and every time Buck made a joke, Eddie moved in closer. _I mean, it’s loud in here. I can’t hear him unless he’s close. _

Suddenly Buck perked up, listening to the music. “Eddie, Eddie!” He exclaimed, shaking Eddie’s arm. “This is my FAVORITE song, we HAVE to dance!”

Eddie smiled. “Okay querido, lets dance.” 

Buck whooped and dragged him out to the dance floor. 

Buck had been right to get him drunk. He hadn’t felt this loose and relaxed in forever. He grabbed Buck’s hip with his good hand and pulled him close so that they could dance together. Buck put his arms on Eddie’s shoulders and his hands behind his neck. Eddie’s heart started beating faster. He told himself it was from the exertion of dancing. 

They moved their bodies together, following the rhythm and the beat. He’s not actually a half bad dancer, when he’s got a partner. He’d watched Buck dance alone earlier, and watched him dance with other people. It was always more recognizable as dancing when someone else was leading. But he wanted to be the only partner.

Unfortunately that wasn’t to be. The song changed and he heard Isabel’s squeal next to him. She pushed right past him to Buck, and the two started jamming out to whatever song was playing. Eddie shrugged and turned, bumping into his sisters. 

“EDDIIIEE, you finally decided to join us, baby brother!” exclaimed Sophia. They looked so happy, so he figured he would dance with them for a while. 

The hours passed that way. He danced with his sisters, with his cousins, with Buck. He got another drink every time he took a break, walking to the bar with whoever else needed a minute. Everyone was joking and laughing and dancing. It was the most fun Eddie had had in a long time. The best parts were dancing with Buck. He was drunk enough that he had an excuse for how he was constantly draping himself over him, dancing closer than any friend really had right too. Their bodies just constantly brushing together. He’d only ever danced with his girlfriends the way he was dancing with Buck tonight. 

Soon it was almost midnight. Odeya got up on stage again, and the music quieted for a minute. 

“Alright my party people!” She shouted into the mic. “It’s almost time to ring out the old and ring in the new! Find that person or people you want to be with when the clock strikes midnight, because this is the last song of the year. Hit it, Ryan!”

The music started up again and Eddie saw her jump off the stage and run towards Isabel. 

Buck grabbed Eddie’s hand and used it to pull him him close. “Dance the last dance of the year with me,” he whispered in Eddie’s ear. Eddie shivered. 

“No one else I’d rather dance with,” he replied. 

“But first, one more shot!” Eddie yelled, laughing. He grabbed one off the tray that the waitresses were passing around and downed it. He felt Buck laughing against him. “You don’t want?” He asked, his words slurring a little.

“Nah hun, I stopped a while ago. Trying to avoid the hangover.” 

_Hun, huh?_

Eddie threw his arms around Buck’s shoulders. “Screw hangovers, let’s dance!”

They intertwined their bodies as much as possible, finding the melody and the beat. 

_“I just need to get this off my chest/Yeah more than you know, yeah more than you know/You should know that baby you’re the best/Yeah more than you know, yeah more than you know.”_

Eddie sunk into the music. It was everything he was thinking and feeling, the lyrics saying what he’d been trying to articulate for weeks. Months. Years. 

_“Your good intentions are sweet and pure/But they can never tame a fire like yours/No it ain't over, until she sings/Right where you wanted, down on my knees/You got me begging, pretty baby set me free/'Cause it ain't over, until she sings/_

_Come a little closer, let me taste your smile/Until the morning lights/Ain't no going back the way you look tonight/I see it in your eyes.”_

Their faces were closer than they had ever been. He could feel Buck’s breath on his face, see his eyes wide and dark. He was sure his were a mirror image.

_“I just need to get this off my chest/Yeah more than you know, yeah more than you know/You should know that baby you’re the best/Yeah more than you know, yeah more than you know.”_

The song ended but they didn’t let go of each other. All around them people were screaming, “seven, six, five!” They just kept staring at each other. He saw Buck look at his lips and reflexively licked them. 

“Three, two, ONE, HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Eddie couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He took Buck’s face in his hand and closed the small space left between them. 

He pressed his lips to Buck’s and promptly forgot everything else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger, I know 🙈 don’t worry the next part is written, and will hopefully be posted soon!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where we left off last night, lol!  
Smut warning for the end, it's pretty explicit this time. Stop reading after these saps talk about their feelings if sexy times isn't your cup of tea. 
> 
> HUGE huge thanks to [chelecheese](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelecheese/pseuds/chelecheese) and [xpaperheartso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xpaperheartso/pseuds/xpaperheartso) for beta reading, adding words and sentences to make it more coherent, and listening to me freak out about writing smut. I'm super appreciative to you guys.

Buck thought he had to be dreaming. There were people all around him, screaming and laughing. The music blasting, the floor bouncing from the movement of the crowd. He knew all of this. 

He just didn’t see, hear, or feel any of it. 

Eddie was kissing him. Eddie Fucking Diaz had his arms around Buck’s waist, pulling their bodies against each other. His tongue was in Buck’s mouth, and Buck’s was in Eddie’s mouth. He couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to breathe. He wanted to go on kissing Eddie forever. It was as if his whole body was saying  _ fucking finally _ . 

Then he heard whistles and cheers from right next to them and felt Eddie pull away. He chased his lips for a second, but then stopped and opened his eyes. Eddie’s sister’s were clapping Buck on the back and Rosa was nudging Eddie and saying something Buck couldn’t hear. His ears were ringing like he’d been clubbed over the head. 

He felt himself being pulled into a hug and looked down to see Isabel with one arm around him and the other around Eddie. “You boys finally got your shit together! Happy Fucking New Year!”

She let them go and pushed them off the dance floor. Buck smiled sheepishly at Eddie and nodded towards the exit. Eddie gave him a huge grin and grabbed his hand, leading him out to the street. 

Once they were outside, he felt Eddie push him up against the wall. He fell under again as Eddie’s lips fused to his, melting into the feeling of  _ Eddie _ . 

Eventually, Eddie pulled away from his lips and started attacking his neck. Buck moaned. “Eddie, Eddie…how drunk are you?”

Eddie looked up at him with a smirk. “Nah...not soooo drunk, ya know? Just a little...tipsy? And horny. Very horny. Fuck I want you so bad.”

Buck groaned and leaned his head back against the wall. He hadn’t been counting Eddie’s drinks, but he knew he wasn’t sober. They couldn’t do this now. 

“Eddie, come on, let’s go upstairs okay?”

Eddie leaned fully into Buck and nuzzled into his neck. “Mmmmm, yes, querido. Let’s go upstairs. We have that big bed all to ourselves tonight…” He started running his hand up and down Buck’s chest, and Buck choked a little. 

“Not...not  _ quite _ what I meant babe. Come on, follow me.”

He lead Eddie up the stairs, trying to ignore the way Eddie was completely hanging off of him and constantly kissing his hand, his back, his shoulders. Each kiss left a trail of fire burning against Buck’s skin, urging him to move faster. 

He finally got the apartment unlocked and maneuvered Eddie into the bedroom. He could tell that Eddie was getting more drunk by the minute. That last shot must have really been something. Eddie was going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning. 

“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you out of these clothes,” he murmured, tugging at Eddie’s shirt. 

“Mmm, you first hot stuff,” was the slurred reply. Buck rolled his eyes despite the blush on his cheeks. 

“You need to get into pajamas. I am not sleeping next to you while you’re drunk and naked, that’s too much to ask of me.”

It was a struggle to get Eddie’s shirt off around the cast, but Buck managed it. Then the other man flopped onto the bed before he could get started on the jeans. He sighed and went to Eddie’s suitcase to get a t-shirt and sweats. He brought them over to the bed. 

“Seriously Eddie, either take off your pants or let me, you’ve gotta get changed.”

Eddie giggled. Actually giggled. “Why don’t you come over here and try to get them off me?” He challenged with a wiggle of his hips.

Buck rubbed his face. “Okay, that’s it. Come here you absolute jerk.”

He grabbed Eddie’s ankles and dragged him closer to the edge of the bed. Eddie just laughed and gave him a look dripping with heat. Buck couldn't help rolling his eyes again. At this point they were going to get stuck in the back of his head. 

Which, at this moment, might be preferable. Because he was undoing Eddie’s jeans and pulling them off. And then Eddie was scrambling out of his boxers, surprisingly quickly for a drunk guy. Buck had to look away. He wasn't going to make it through the night like this. 

“Seriously dude, put on those pants!”

He turned back around to see Eddie dressed but pouting. 

“You don’t want me, querido?” He asked plaintively.

Buck sighed and sat on the bed next to Eddie. He grabbed his chin and looked him straight in the eyes. He leaned in for a quick kiss but pulled back before they got carried away. “I want you so much I can’t breathe, Eds. But I’ve been drinking and you’re drunk and we can figure everything out tomorrow, okay? For now let’s just go to sleep.”

They were sweaty and gross from the club, but Buck didn’t think he could handle trying to get Eddie to shower now. Plus he was too tired to even shower himself.

Eddie nodded reluctantly and scooted up the bed before slipping under the covers. He looked at Buck expectantly.

“Give me one sec.” He quickly shucked out of his dress clothes, ignoring Eddie’s wolf-whistles but allowing himself a small smile. He put on his soft pajama pants and t-shirt and climbed into bed. 

Eddie moved until he was right next to Buck, throwing one arm over Buck and snuggling into his neck and side. Buck froze for a second, but quickly settled in. He wrapped his arms around Eddie and kissed the top of his head. “Yo te quiero,” he whispered into Eddie’s hair. Eddie snored in response. 

Buck laughed quietly and closed his eyes, letting contentment wash over him as he fell asleep. 

**

When Eddie woke up, the first thing he noticed was the pounding in his head. The second was the awful taste in his mouth. The third was the bright, early morning sun hitting him straight in the eyes. 

The fourth was the fact that his head was on Buck’s chest and Buck’s arms were wrapped tightly around him. 

_ When did that happen? _

Memories of last night started to come back. The drinking, the dancing. The kiss.

_ Oh my God, the kiss.  _

The making out, the getting undressed. Being all over Buck.  _ Jesus _ . Falling asleep on top of Buck. 

But he couldn’t remember if they had talked at all. Did he tell Buck how he felt? Did Buck feel the same way? The thoughts were making his head spin. Or maybe that was the hangover. 

He felt Buck stir underneath him and he groaned. How was he turned on and nauseous at the same time?

Buck opened his eyes and smiled down at Eddie. “I bet your body is revolting right now, huh?” he said. Eddie nodded, and immediately regretted the action when it made his head ache and his heartburn flare up.

Buck sat up and caressed Eddie’s face. “Okay, shower first I think. You’ll feel much better. Here, take the Advil and water bottle with you. Drink the whole thing, no excuses, okay?”

He pushed a large bottle from the nightstand into Eddie’s hands along with a couple of pills. Eddie immediately swallowed the pills and washed it down with slow, small sips of water. 

“Good,” said Buck, nodding approvingly. “I’m going to make coffee and see if there are any bagels left over from yesterday. Now, get in the shower, you stink.”

Eddie smiled, but it quickly faded. “Buck, we...we should probably talk about last night, right?”

Buck scratched the back of neck, but he was smiling. “We’ll talk, I promise. Let’s take care of your hangover first, though? And hurry up in the shower because I seriously need one too.”

He walked out of the room. Eddie stood up carefully, continuing to sip the water. He made his way into the bathroom. The first thing he did was brush his teeth. He could throw up just from the taste coating his tongue. Then he looked through his toiletry bag and found the Tums. Thank God he remembered to pack that. He started chewing two while he turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up. 

A few minutes later he walked back into the bedroom with a towel around his waist and an empty water bottle. Buck walked over and handed him a cup of coffee. He took a sip and groaned. “God, you’re an angel. Like a real life superhero.”

Buck laughed. “If I had known you were so easy to please I would have gotten you coffee months ago.”

Eddie smiled and sat on the bed. “You think I’m easy?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. He saw Buck swallow. 

“I, uh, I’m gonna go shower now.” He practically sprinted into the bathroom. Eddie laughed and settled back into the bed, grabbing a bagel from the plate Buck had brought in. He checked his phone and saw that Abuelita had texted pictures of Christopher and the other kids from last night. He scrolled through, smiling at the pure joy on his son’s face.

He looked up when the bathroom door opened and saw Buck coming out, his hair dripping and just a towel around his waist. Now it was his turn to swallow hard. 

“Whatchya looking at?” Buck asked, using a smaller towel to dry his hair. Eddie just stared, dumbstruck. 

“Uh, what?”

Buck chuckled but nodded at Eddie’s phone. “Anything interesting?”

Eddie flushed. “Abuelita sent pictures, wanna see?”

“Hell yeah!” He got on the bed and scooted over so he was next to Eddie. Eddie tried to ignore the fact that they were both only in towels and that their thighs were touching. He held out the phone and watched Buck’s face light up as he flicked through the pictures of Christopher.  _ Is it any wonder I’m in love with him? _

Buck handed Eddie back his phone. “I’m so happy he had a good time.”

“Me too.” Eddie put his phone back on the nightstand. Then he cleared his throat. 

“Uh Buck, we should talk?”

He saw an apprehensive look on Buck’s face, but he powered on. 

“Listen I know I was all over you last night, and you seemed into it, but you were also super gracious when I got out of hand and you were really good to me, and I guess?” He sighed and scrubbed his face. “I guess I just wanted to say that it wasn’t nothing to me? I’m in love with you, I haven’t said anything because your friendship is too important to me and I don’t want to screw anything up, but I am. And last night I was drunk and I had no inhibitions and I kissed you, and I didn’t even ask if that was something you wanted, and the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable, so I want to apologize if I did?” He felt his voice go high with anxiety. “I’m not sure what else to say because you’re just sitting there quietly and now I’m scared I fucked everything up.”

He said the last part staring at his lap. 

“Hey, hey Eddie, look at me.” He looked up at Buck.

“Eddie you didn't do anything I didn’t want you to. Hell, I’ve been in love with you for a long time now. I’ve been attracted to you since we first met, but the closer we became the more I fell in love. Like you, I didn’t want to risk our friendship. You and Christopher are too important to me. And I really can’t believe that you actually love me back.”

Buck had tears in his eyes and Eddie could feel his own welling up. 

He reached out to hold Buck’s face in his hand. “You deserve all the love in the world Buck, and more. How could I not give you a little bit of that?”

Buck gave him a watery smile. “You fell asleep so I guess you didn’t hear me last night. So I’ll say it again. Eddie. Yo te quiero.”

Eddie felt his heart stop. He stared at Buck, dumbstruck. Then he surged forward and attached his lips to Buck’s. 

“You know,” he said, in between kisses. “For a white dude your accent isn’t actually terrible.”

Buck huffed and started sucking Eddie’s neck. Eddie moaned. 

“Argentina.” Buck kissed Eddie’s jaw. “Tending bar.” Tugged Eddie’s earlobe between his teeth. “Two months. Hot people I wanted to impress.” Dragged his tongue into the hollow of Eddie’s throat. “How many times I gotta tell you?”

Eddie couldn’t think anymore. He had forgotten what this conversation was even about. He couldn’t do much except run his hand along Buck’s arms, his chest, his face. 

All of a sudden Buck maneuvered them so he was laying on top of Eddie. Their towels had fallen off somehow. Their bodies lined up perfectly. Eddie was in heaven. 

He ducked his head and started licking and nipping at Buck’s neck, returning the favor. The torture. He loved the sounds Buck made when he did that. 

“Eddie…” Buck said breathlessly. 

“Mmm?”

“Eddie, I want to suck you off.” 

Eddie groaned. Loudly. He surged his hips up into Buck’s.

“You really like that idea, huh?” Buck smirked down at him. Eddie stared into his eyes. 

“Buck. I’ve had fantasies where you say those  _ exact words _ . I feel like I’m dreaming.” Buck blushed and laughed.

“No dream babe. Just lay back and relax, I’ve got you. Besides, I heard somewhere that orgasms really help with hangovers.” He started making his way down Eddie’s body, drawing circles and lines with his tongue and making marks with his teeth. 

“How is anyone supposed to relax when you have a mouth like that?” Eddie complained. He felt the responding smile against his stomach. 

Where it seemed Buck was determined to put a hickey. 

Eddie tried to keep his body still as Buck’s mouth wandered lower.

“Please...please...querido…” he breathed.

“Look at me Eddie,” said Buck, his voice gruff. Eddie looked down to see Buck’s face right above his dick. He almost came then and there. 

“Buck,” he ground out, throwing his head back into the bed. “Please...do... _ something _ .”

“Not until you look at me, baby.”

Eddie groaned but propped himself up on his elbows to look down at Buck.

Locking his eyes on Eddie’s, Buck lowered his mouth. Eddie was trembling, watching Buck like he was in slow motion. Finally,  _ finally _ , he made contact. First, he just pressed a soft kiss to the head of Eddie’s cock, sending a violent shiver through Eddie’s whole body.

“Buck...Evan...this is going to be embarrassingly fast.”

Buck started pressing open mouthed kisses along his dick, dragging his lips and tongue. He paused for a minute and Eddie thought he was going to die.

“Eddie, in a second I’m going to take you. All of you. And you’re going to come. Okay? Right in my mouth. I wanna taste you.” 

Eddie didn’t know he was one for dirty talk, but it turned out Buck talking like that  _ really  _ did it for him. He couldn’t speak so he just nodded vigorously. Buck smirked and then dove right back in.

Eddie almost screamed. Buck basically swallowed his cock whole, right down to the base.  _ Fuck, does this man have no gag reflex? _

He couldn’t stop his hips from jerking up into Buck’s mouth, into his throat. Buck simply moaned, using his tongue to add friction to the vibration. 

“I - I’m gonna come,” Eddie choked out. Buck’s only response was to bob his head in sync with Eddie’s thrusts. Then he pulled off until his mouth was only around the head. He swirled his tongue and sucked and Eddie was done. 

He felt Buck continue sucking through his orgasm, swallowing as Eddie kept coming. Eddie forced his eyes open so he could see Buck’s throat working. It was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen.

He dropped his body back down on the bed, completely spent. Buck moved up to lay on top of him, with a smug grin. Licking his goddamn lips. 

“Come here you bastard,” said Eddie, pulling Buck in for a kiss. He tasted himself in Buck’s mouth and groaned.

He reached down and stroked Buck’s cock, dragging a delicious moan out of the other man. 

“Listen, Buck. I’ve been dreaming about fucking you, except you just literally blew my brains out and I don’t think I have it in me just now. So I guess it’s your turn today.”

Buck looked at him in wonder. “Have you ever...you’ve never been with a guy before, right?”

Eddie blushed and sat up a little, leaning against the headboard while Buck straddled him.

“No, I uh, never did anything like that. But I want to, I want...I want to feel you inside me.”

“Today Eddie? Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

Eddie looked at the ceiling, not answering.  _ Am I? _

“Hey, babe, hey.” Buck started kissing Eddie’s jaw. “I’m a big believer that any sex is ‘real sex’, not just penatrative sex. What we just did? That was really amazing sex, if I do say so myself.”

Eddie grinned and kissed the smug smile off of Buck’s face. “But we still gotta take care of you, querido,” he said, reaching again for Buck’s dick.

“Mmm baby there are sooo many ways we could do that…” he mumbled into Eddie’s mouth. 

Just then they heard the apartment door unlock and Christopher call out, “Daddy, Buck! I’m back!”

“Shit shit shit,” whispered Buck, scrambling away from Eddie. Eddie stared at him in shock. He shook his head to clear it. He jumped up and grabbed his sweatpants from the chair. He ran to the door, opened it a crack, and said, “I’ll be right there buddy, give me one minute,” before closing it again.

He turned to Buck, who was standing next to the bed, frozen in shock.

“Listen, Buck? Hey, look at me.” He went over and put his arms around him.

“I’ll set Christopher up with his iPad and some headphones, I’ll shoo away Abuelita and whoever else is here to drop him off. You just stay right here, and I’ll come back to finish what we started, okay?”

Buck smiled, but it was pained. “As much as I appreciate that babe, I  _ really _ don’t think I can get off knowing Christopher is on the other side of that door. It’s too weird. I’m going to go take a cold shower. A very, very cold shower,” he grumbled. “I’ll meet you two out there in a few.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “You sure, querido?”

“Absolutely positive. Go.”

He gave Buck a quick peck. “I love you, mi vida. So much.”

“Yeah, yeah love you too.”

Eddie chuckled but left the room to go see his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed. Let me know what you thought! Come cry about these babies with me in the comments and on [Tumblr](https://nilshki.tumblr.com/)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is another chapter that got away from me, so I had to split it in two. I'm almost done so hopefully part two should be up soon as well!
> 
> Again a huge thanks to my beta readers, [chelecheese](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelecheese/pseuds/chelecheese) and [xpaperheartso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xpaperheartso/pseuds/xpaperheartso), who edit and encourage and support me even when this story is kicking my ass. 
> 
> No actual smut in this chapter (sad, I know lol), but they are ALL over each other, and talking pretty dirty, so, fair warning.  
Enjoy friends!

“Mmmmm yes baby just like that…” moaned Buck.

He felt Eddie huff into his neck. “We have to stop, querido, our shift is about to start. We have to go inside.”

Buck pouted. “Are you sure we don’t have time for just a little...quickie...before work? We haven’t been alone since New York,” he added, grabbing Eddie’s thigh. Eddie groaned and licked his lips. “I wish babe, I really wish. But I told Bobby we needed to fill out the HR forms and he told me to be on time for work so we could get it done. Come on.”

Buck sulked but followed Eddie out of his truck and into the station.

Where they were greeted with cheers and backslaps from everyone they passed. They looked up to see Chim, Hen, and Cap looking down from the balcony, applauding. 

“Diaz, Buckley. My office, now before the shift starts,” said Bobby. 

Buck grinned at his friends and grabbed Eddie’s hand. “So, who won the bet?” he called up to Hen and Chim.

“Damn, you knew about the bet?” asked Chimney. 

“Eh, I know you guys, and all of you have been giving me grief about my crush for ages, so I connected the dots. Who won, how much?”

Eddie leaned over to whisper in his ear, “Aww babe, you had a crush on me?”

“Don’t quote Parks and Rec at me at work Diaz, you don’t want to know where that will lead,” he hissed back. Eddie raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything.

“No one won, because no one bet on you dumbasses needing to go to a different state to get your shit together! Also, everyone was sure you were going to figure it out before Christmas, so the bet was void and we didn’t have time to place new ones before your little New Year’s Resolutions.” Hen shot them a dirty look but then broke out smiling. “Y’all come here when you’re done talking to Bobby, I need hugs.” 

They waved and walked into Bobby’s office. He was already sitting at his desk, forms waiting. “They’re already filled out, you guys just have to sign them.”

Buck looked at Bobby gratefully. 

“How did you know Cap?” Eddie asked. 

“Eddie, I’ve known since the first time you two looked at each other. These have been filled out, except for the dates, for a year and half now.”

Buck put his face in his hands, cheeks burning. “Oh my god, was it that obvious?”

Bobby laughed. “Buck you went so alpha male on Eddie’s first day I thought you were going to drag him into the storage closet.” Buck felt his face turn an even brighter shade of red and he stood up quickly. 

“Alright,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “Time to go get changed for work I think, thanks Bobby.” He started towards the door. 

“Hey hey Buck wait. Eddie you too. Listen to me boys, we keep it professional at work, okay? You don’t need to act like you’re not together, a little PDA is fine. But if anyone finds you in the bunk rooms, the storage closets, the trucks, anywhere, doing anything that requires the two of you to be alone, there will be repercussions, okay? Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal clear Cap. We’ll behave,” said Eddie. He put his hand on the small of Buck’s back and lead him out of the office. Buck was pouting again. 

“It’s like he doesn’t trust me to control myself at work!”

“Buck, you literally wanted to have sex in the car right outside.”

“Yeah that’s not technically at work!” 

Eddie just rolled his eyes as they walked into the locker room and started changing. 

“Christopher wants you to come over for dinner tonight, he says it's been two days since he’s seen you and that’s too long.”

Buck smiled softly. “I wholeheartedly agree. Want me to cook or bring pizza?

“Hmm with all the holidays there’s been a lot of junk. I’ll buy some groceries, maybe you can make that chicken and rice thing he loves?”

“Mmm, yes, that’s a good idea.”

“And Buck,” said Eddie, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “Pack a bag. You’re staying the night.” Buck felt his throat working as he tried to think of something to say. “See ya later buddy!” 

_ Asshole _.

**

Eddie didn’t think he’d ever cleaned his bedroom as thoroughly as he did while waiting for Buck to show up. Clean sheets, new towels in the bathroom. Laundry tucked away, dresser top set to rights. 

He was nervous. It was Buck, and he shouldn’t be, but he was. He wanted tonight to go well. It wasn’t ideal that Christopher would be around, but he was going to take his shots when he could. They would just have to be quiet. 

He heard Buck open the front door and get attacked by an enthusiastic Christopher. He smiled to himself and walked out to see his boys. 

He leaned in the doorway of the kitchen, watching them start dinner. Buck was teaching Christopher the proper way to clean the chicken and season it. Then they started on the rice, getting everything in the oven. He loved watching them like this. He exchanged glances with Buck every once in a while, and joked and bantered with the two of them. 

It was home. It was family. It was finally real. 

They lingered over dinner, joking and talking and generally enjoying each other’s company. They heard all about Christopher’s new semester, and told him about some of the more amusing calls they’d gotten that day. They continued talking as they cleared the table, put away the leftovers, washed the dishes. They all pitched in, and Eddie's heart was bursting at the domesticity of it all. Afterwards they got Christopher washed up and tucked into bed. 

“Daddy, Buck?” Christopher said right before they moved to leave his room. 

“Yes, m’hijo? What’s up?” asked Eddie. 

“Now that you guys are official or whatever, what do I call Buck?”

Eddie looked at Buck, who looked a little panicked. “Uh, you can keep calling me Buck, or Bucky, buddy. Whatever you want. I’m here for you the way I always am and always will be, no matter what you call me.” Eddie’s heart swelled at Buck’s response. He was glad Buck was making sure to respect Christopher’s boundaries, even if in his heart he hoped that one day Christopher could call Buck “Dad” - because he was basically one already, and he deserved that recognition.

“No, everyone else calls you Buck. But you’re like my other dad now, right? Because you and Daddy are in love. And I can’t call you both Dad, it would get confusing. I was thinking Papá, like Daddy calls Abuelo? Would that be okay?”

Eddie watched as Buck stared at his son with tears in his eyes. “If you’re comfortable thinking of me that way, Christopher, I would be honored to be Papá. I can’t think of anything that would make me happier.” Christopher grinned widely and pulled Buck in for a hug. “I love you. Thank you for being my Papá.”

Buck sniffled. “I love you too kiddo. Forever and always.”

He let go of Christopher and tucked him back under the covers, kissing his forehead. Eddie followed suit. “I love you m’hijo, have a good night.” 

“Love you Daddy.”

They quietly left the room and turned out the light. 

Buck slumped against the wall. He stared at Eddie in wonder, and Eddie could only smile back. 

“How did I get so incredibly lucky? I love that kid more than life itself, and he loves me back?”

“Welcome to parenthood, mi vida. It’s a wild ride.”

“Sure as hell is.” Buck still looked shell-shocked. But Eddie still had plans for the night. 

“Speaking of a wild ride…”

Buck looked up into Eddie’s eyes and raised a brow. “He’s not even asleep yet Eds.”

“Eh, he’ll be out in like 10 minutes. We can just make out on the couch until we’re sure he’s asleep.”

“Mmmhmm, yes, that sounds like a plan, come on.” 

Eddie laughed as Buck dragged him to the couch, sitting down and pulling Eddie on top of him. 

They stayed like that for a while, kissing and nipping at each other, their pelvises grinding together. 

Suddenly Buck shuddered against Eddie and groaned into his neck. 

“Buck,” Eddie huffed out a slight laugh. “Did you just come?”

Buck buried his face in Eddie’s neck, but he was laughing too. “God, that’s embarrassing. I guess it’s been too long, I feel like a teenager.”

“Hmm...maybe now would be a good time to move these activities to the bedroom...will you let me fuck you tonight? Let me see you all spread out for me like I’ve been dreaming about?” Eddie teased Buck’s earlobe between his teeth. 

“Yes...yes God yes. Please, let’s go,” said Buck, giving Eddie a little shove to get him off the couch. Eddie laughed. 

Then they heard the screaming. The looked at each other in alarm. 

“I’ll go,” said Buck. “You take care of...that,” he gestured to Eddie’s crotch, “and meet me in there, okay?”

Eddie kissed him quickly. “Thanks mi amor. Go, he needs you.”

**

Buck made his way down that hall where he could hear Christopher crying, “Buck, where are you? Bucky come find me, help!”

His heart broke to hear Christopher in the middle of a nightmare. Especially when he knew he was reliving being separated. 

He opened the bedroom door and saw Christopher was still asleep, even though he was thrashing around. He quickly climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around the boy.

“Shhh, shhh sweetheart, I’m here. I’m right here, you’re safe,” he whispered into Christopher’s hair. He rubbed his arms, trying to wake him up without startling him further.

Christopher’s yelling abruptly ceased and he sat up, looking around wildly, breathing heavily.

“Papá?”

“Yeah baby I’m here. Come here.”

Christopher folded himself into Buck’s arms just as Eddie walked in. 

“Hey, m’hijo, we’re here. Everything is okay,” murmured Eddie, brushing a hand through Christopher’s hair. 

“Yeah, Papá was here when I woke up.”

“Mmhmm m’hijo. Do you think you can fall back asleep?”

“Can someone stay with me?”

Eddie looked at Buck and remembered the...incident...from earlier. “Papá has to go shower and change okay? I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

“Okay. Love you Papá.”

“Love you sweetheart. Sleep well.”

**

Eddie slammed his head back into the truck as Buck attacked his neck. 

“Babe...baby...Bobby said not at work…” he managed to get out.

“I know, we just haven’t had more than a few minutes alone in like a week. And the shift technically ends in five. We can just stay here, where no one can see us…”

“Buck, this is literally open space, anyone could walk by-“

“Woah boys, wanna cool it at work?”

Eddie looked over Buck’s shoulder to see Lena. “Case in point,’’ he said, shoving Buck off of him. 

“Hey Lena!” said Buck cheerfully. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but you’re kinda interrupting…Whatchya doing here?”

“Just here to pick up some paperwork from Bobby so that all my records are straight to rejoin the 136. I’ll leave you to it.”

“Wait, Lena!” Eddie called as she started to walk off. 

“Yeah, Diaz?”

“Look, Lena, I want to apologize. I was really shitty to you even though you were there for me when I needed it. I want to make it up to you. I think you’re a really cool person and a badass firefighter, and I want to be your friend. For real. If you’ll let me.”

Lena sighed. “I’m willing to give it another go if you are. But dinner and drinks are on you the first, like, ten times.”

“Deal,” he said, grinning, reaching out a hand. She smiled and shook it.

“Later boys. Try to keep it in your pants, okay?”

Buck kissed the side of Eddie’s jaw. “Proud of you babe. Can we go to the bunk rooms now?”

“Nice try cariño. I gotta pick Christopher up from school, and you promised Maddie you’d have dinner at her place tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow when we take Christopher to the zoo.” Eddie gave Buck a quick goodbye kiss and walked out to his truck. No doubt leaving Buck groaning in frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and come yell with me in the comments and on [Tumblr](https://nilshki.tumblr.com/)!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Back with the next chapter! Smut warning for this one, towards the end again. 
> 
> Huge thanks to [xpaperheartso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xpaperheartso/pseuds/xpaperheartso) for the beta!! Editing and catching all my mistakes! 
> 
> Also huge shoutout to Jenny for encouraging me through writing! This chapter wouldn’t exist without your feedback and encouragement and I’m dedicating it to you babe. Her writing is at [chelecheese](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelecheese/pseuds/chelecheese) and is generally awesome so go check it out.
> 
> Song is “Baby” by Lou Rhodes. Enjoy!!

“I can’t take it anymore Eddie! We haven’t had sex since New York! That’s like three weeks!”

Eddie chuckled and Buck looked at him darkly. “It’s not funny Eddie. Aren’t you frustrated?”

“Oh God, yeah, I am Buck. But it’s funny to tease you anyway.”

“Jerk,” grumbled Buck. 

“We’re here,” said Eddie. “Get out.”

“Bossy, bossy, bossy...you know, that’s actually kind of a turn on,” said Buck, dragging his hand up Eddie’s arm. 

“Buck we are at the doctor’s office, we are not having sex here. Let’s go.”

They walked into the clinic and were promptly taken back. Eddie went for x-rays of his arm and then the doctor came in to talk to them.

“Mr. Diaz, I am very pleased to say that your arm has fully healed. We can take the cast off today as planned.”

Buck grinned widely and looked at Eddie, who was also smiling broadly. 

“I’ll get the technician in here,” the doctor continued. “Then you can started scheduling physical therapy.”

Buck watched gleefully as the technician took a saw to Eddie’s cast, laughing at the apprehension in his boyfriend’s eyes. 

“Woah Eddie, your arm looks so pale and sickly. That’s so cool and weird!”

“Buck, you’re like a child. Didn’t your leg also look weird when you got the cast off?”

“Yeah but it's cooler seeing it on someone else,” Buck grinned. Eddie rolled his eyes but looked at Buck with amusement. 

“Think Christopher will get a kick out of it?”

“Definitely. Let’s go home and show him.”

They started walking toward the car. 

“Actually…” started Eddie. 

Buck turned to look at him. “Yeah?”

Eddie crowded Buck up against the side of his truck, and smiled when Buck swallowed hard. 

“I sent Christopher to Bobby and Athena’s, Denny and Harry were having a sleepover and invited Christopher to join.”

Buck lit up and ran his hands down Eddie’s chest. His eyes turned predatory. “Does that mean we have your house to ourselves tonight?”

Eddie grinned. “Better. I got us a suite at the Waldorf. Dinner, dancing, the whole shebang. Just a little celebration.”

Buck’s eyes were the size of dinner plates. “The _ Waldorf?!” _He sputtered.“What’s the occasion?” 

“I’m healthy, our family is happy and healthy. And I have you. What other occasion do I need?” Eddie replied, leaning in to kiss Buck. 

Buck sighed happily, blue eyes shimmering “Eddie, you’re gonna make me cry.” 

The grin Eddie wore sent a pleasant shiver down Buck’s spine, breath hitching as the other man leaned in. “Oh. I’m gonna make you do all sorts of things…” Eddie whispered into Buck’s ear. “Get in the truck.”

“Bossy,” Buck laughed even has his heartbeat quickened with anticipation.

**

“You’d better hurry up and get changed, the restaurant downstairs is the kind of place where they require a jacket,” Buck heard Eddie call through the bathroom door. 

“I dunno Romeo, this bathtub is huge. I vote we just stay here.”

“Buck, I promise we will have time to explore every inch of this suite, _ later_. I want to take you on a real date first. Put on your nice clothes, okay querido?”

Buck opened the door and did a little spin. “How do I look?”

Eddie whistled. “You clean up nice, baby.”

“Not so bad yourself, hermoso,” responded Buck. He loved the dazed look Eddie got when he threw out Spanish.

“We’d better go before you convince me to stay in.”

Eddie grabbed Buck’s hand and lead him to the elevators. 

“Eddie, this is really, really cool,” said Buck as they walked into the hotel restaurant. “Very fancy.”

“Only the best for you, mi vida,” replied Eddie, kissing Buck’s cheek. He felt himself flush as the hostess smiled at them.

“Can I seat you two?” she asked.

“We have a reservation for Diaz,” answered Eddie.

“Yes, of course, please follow me.”

She led them to a table near the window.

“Wow, that’s a gorgeous view,” commented Buck as he sat down.

“Not as gorgeous as the one I’m looking at,” said Eddie, staring at Buck.

He laughed. “Eddie if you keep making comments like that, I’m going to be blushing all night.”

Eddie reached across the table to take Buck’s hand, stroking the back with his thumb. “Good. I love seeing you blush. And flushed and flustered. I plan to make you very flustered.”

Buck coughed. “You uh, you think you can fluster me?”

Eddie just smirked and started tracing shapes on the back of Buck’s hand. He felt his heartbeat speed up.

“Yeah, okay, but two can play at that game.” He smiled impishly. 

Then he stretched out his legs and intertwined them with Eddie’s, being sure to drag a little as he moved them into a comfortable position. He saw Eddie stiffen and turn red, and he smirked.

“God, Evan. You are all leg, how do you reach that far without slouching?”

Buck didn’t answer, just kept rubbing his shins along Eddie’s, watching the other man struggle to keep his composure. 

The sommelier came over just then. Eddie straightened but Buck didn’t react at all. Eddie shot him a glare but spoke to the sommelier, who had brought champagne. 

“Yes, this is good, thank you,” said Eddie. The wine was poured for both of them.

“Did you order the champagne earlier?” Buck asked.

“Yep. Some for now, some for later...there may or may not be a few surprises in the room when we get back.”

“More surprises? Who knew you were such a romantic?”

“Hey, I love romance. Besides, you make me want to be romantic. You deserve romance.”

“Eddie, I’m serious, my face can’t handle any more blushing.”

Eddie smiled and kissed Buck’s knuckles softly. 

They continued to banter and tease and compliment each other throughout the meal. Buck thought that anyone looking at them would be nauseated by how sickly cute they were being, but he didn’t care. 

They finished their food and the waitress came over. “Can I get you anything else? Maybe some dessert? We have some lovely options.”

“Mmmm dessert sounds nice,” Buck hummed, licking his lips a bit for effect. 

“Thank you ma’am, but I’ve actually ordered dessert to our room already. We’re finished here, thank you.” Eddie smirked at Buck when he said that, and Buck’s heart started pounding. 

“Very good, sir. You two have a wonderful evening,” said the waitress, smiling. 

Eddie grabbed Buck’s hand and practically dragged him out of the restaurant. The elevator was thankfully empty when they got in, and Buck backed Eddie against the wall, kissing him. 

“I want you _ now_, gorgeous. Please,” he whined into Eddie’s mouth. 

“Soon, cariño, soon, I promise.”

When they got to their floor, Eddie gently intertwined their fingers and slowly lead Buck to their door. He kept his affectionate gaze on Buck even as he reached for the handle and swung open the door. 

Buck’s jaw dropped.

The entire room was bathed in candlelight, with champagne, chocolate, and fruit on the table, rose petals littering the floor leading to the bedroom. 

“Eddie...Eddie, how did you do all of this?” he managed. 

Eddie smiled. “I picked this hotel because they are incredibly accommodating. Why don’t you pour us some champagne, I’m going to put on the music. I promised you dancing.”

“Eddie, love...I don’t need-” Eddie cut him off with a kiss. 

“You take care of me all the time, mi amor. Let me take care of you tonight.”

He turned to plug his phone into the speakers on the table. Buck somehow managed to pour two glasses of champagne as the opening chords of a slow song came on. 

Eddie came over and grabbed a glass. “To us,” he said.

_ “These days I don't have a clue/About this thing called love/And all the things it puts us through/And I used to hold it like heaven above/But I love it when you call me "baby"/ _

He drew Buck into his arms, setting down both glasses. He started spinning them around. 

_ We've been hanging out a while now/Trying so hard not to say/Three little words that weigh so heavily/And could really blow our cold away/But I love it when you call me "baby"/ _

Buck was dizzy, but he didn’t think it was from the spinning. 

_ We've both been there before/All broken hearted and sore/And you can never ever be sure/But there's something about this/Makes me want more/ _

_ These days I don't have a clue/About this thing called love/And all the things it puts us through/And I used to hold it like heaven above/But I love it when you call me/I love it when you call me/I love it when you call me "baby"/Baby, baby, baby, baby/Baby, baby, baby, baby/Baby, baby, baby, baby.” _

“Please kiss me Eddie,” he breathed as the song ended. “I can’t wait anymore.”

Eddie slowly moved his hands from Buck’s waist, up his sides, to frame his face. He drew their heads close together and placed a gentle kiss on Buck’s lips. 

**

Eddie slowly backed Buck into the bedroom, never moving his hands from Buck’s hips or his mouth from Buck’s lips.

When Buck’s legs hit the edge of the bed, they gave way, sending them both tumbling. Eddie started laughing and kissed the side of Buck’s neck.

“Eddie,” Buck gasped. “Hurry, Eddie.”

“Why, mi amor? We have all night. I plan to make very good use of it.” He leaned back a little to look at Buck, who was staring up at him in wonder.

“Eddie, I’ve wanted you to fuck me for months. And you told me you wanted that too.”

“Oh I do. And I plan to. Only...this isn’t just a fuck, you know? I want you to know how important you are to me. I want to show you.”

To Eddie’s shock, Buck started crying. Not full on, but there were definitely tears streaming from his eyes. 

“Oh, querido, what’s wrong?”

He sat up, bringing Buck with him and putting a hand on his face.

“We don’t have to do this tonight, okay? I know the whole romance thing can put a little pressure, but we can just be here, together. I’m just as happy cuddling with you all night, yeah?”

Buck gave a watery smile. “Baby, God, you’re so sweet. Nothing is wrong. Everything is right, everything is so right. You make me feel so much, is all. So much. Also, I love you, but I swear if you don’t fuck me tonight I’m out.” 

Eddie snorted. “Note taken. But like I said, I’m in no rush. There are so many things I want to do to you, with you…”

Buck raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Well let’s get started then.”

He practically launched himself at Eddie, straddling and kissing him. 

Eddie backed up so he could lean against the headboard and grabbed Buck’s hips to bring them flush with his. He swallowed Buck’s moan and put his hands under Buck’s shirt to feel the skin of his back. 

He pulled away for a second, breathing heavily and staring at Buck’s red, swollen lips.

He gently brought his hands to Buck’s collar. Slowly, he undid the first button of the dress shirt. And then the second. He could hear Buck’s breathing quicken, feel his heartbeat thunder. But he didn’t look at his face, focusing on each button and the new skin it revealed when undone. 

When all of them were opened, Buck quickly shrugged out of it. Eddie finally looked up, laughing. “Impatient, are we?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” said Buck breathlessly. “Your turn.” With much less finesse, he quickly undid Eddie’s shirt and tugged it from his shoulders. Eddie shuddered from the feel of Buck’s hands on his bare arms. 

Buck leaned down to nuzzle Eddie’s neck, pressing soft kisses. “I want to take off your pants but I also don’t wanna move from your lap,” he murmured.

“No rush babe.”

Buck huffed out a laugh. “Yeah see, that’s where you’re wrong.”

He ground his hips into Eddie, grinding their dicks together through their clothes. Eddie moaned and grabbed Buck by the back of his head. He closed his eyes and just savored the feeling for a moment. Then he put his arms around Buck’s waist and flipped them, so Buck was lying flat on the bed and Eddie leaning over him. 

“Uh uh, cariño. If it’s all good with you, I’m in charge tonight.”

“Mmm that does sound very nice…” But Buck smirked and brought his hand to Eddie waistband, running a finger along the edge. Eddie shivered, his stomach tightening and cock twitching.

“Evan...god you have such good hands…” He moaned before finding Buck’s lips again.

“I love making you lose control,” Buck murmured, fingers dipping further below the fabric. 

Eddie growled and grabbed Buck’s wrist. “We are _ not _ rushing this, Evan Buckley. Should I tell you what I’m going to do to you? Or should I just get started?” He saw Buck’s throat bobbing furiously and he grinned wolfishly. “Well?”

“Both. Everything. I don’t know.”

“Hmmm, up to me then?” He stroked a finger down Buck’s cheek. “Where shall we begin? Pants, I guess. I want to see you naked again, it’s been too long.” Buck nodded vigorously and started to sit up, but Eddie put one hand on his chest and pushed him back down. “Allow me, mi amor.”

He moved to straddle Buck’s legs and began undoing the other man’s belt. Then unfastening and unzipping his pants. Tucking his hands under the waistband of Buck’s pants and boxers, slowly pulling them over his hips. Murmuring encouragement when Buck lifted off the bed a bit so it was easier. He watched in fascination as Buck’s cock came free. “Mmm so gorgeous, querido. Already so hard.” Buck laughed breathlessly.

“For you? Always.”

Eddie smiled and pulled Buck’s pants completely off, moving back as he went. 

“Stay right there,” he said, standing to shuck off his own clothes before climbing back into the bed. He put his hands on Buck’s ankles and slowly drew his hands up his legs, watching Buck’s eyes roll back and his muscles tighten.

He drew his hands up Buck’s thighs, over his hips, around to his chest. Brought his face up to Buck’s to place a kiss on his jaw. 

“Now I’m going to kiss you.”

“Thought you already were.”

“No babe. I’m going to explore every inch of your skin with my lips. Maybe some tongue and teeth. I want to know what you taste like. I’m going to start with your ears, because I’ve been dying to bite them for ages.” Buck moaned and ground against him, but he just kept talking. “Then your neck, leave a few hickeys. So everyone knows you’re mine. Then every one of your tattoos. I’m going to trace the patterns with my tongue, okay? Been dreaming about that since I saw the one on your hip.”

Buck had started moving his hands to Eddie’s ass, trying to bring them closer together. So Eddie took his hands and pinned them above his head. Smirked as Buck gulped.

“I’m not done talking yet. I’m going to taste your dick, another thing I’ve been wanting forever. I’d like to suck you off. But I don’t think I’m gonna. Because I want to watch you come when I’m inside of you.”

“God, Eddie, could you please be inside me _ now? _”

“No, querido, I haven’t tasted you yet. Haven’t gotten my dessert.”

“Well then can you please _ get to it_?” 

Eddie laughed. He didn’t think he’d ever laughed this much during sex. Didn’t think he’d ever been this joyful when he was with somebody.

He made good on all his promises, kissing and licking and nipping his way down Buck’s body, drowning in the sounds Buck made and melting at the way Buck’s body reacted. The way his abdomen tightened when he sucked a spot on his belly. The way his hips stuttered when he gently bit at the crease of his pelvis. The way he panted and moaned when Eddie finally got his mouth on his dick.

“Oh god, Eddie, you’re so good at that. So so good.” 

“Hmm I think you forgot your own rule, Evan. Look at me.” He watched Buck force his eyes open, face flushed and bottom lip caught in his teeth. _ God, he’s so beautiful. _

Buck whined as Eddie pulled away and got off the bed. “What? Where are you going?” 

Eddie didn’t answer, just opened his suitcase and dug out a bottle of lube and a box of condoms. 

He came back to the bed, where Buck had sat up in confusion. 

“Can’t fuck you properly without these.”

Buck grinned. “Someone’s been doing their homework.” 

Eddie leaned in for a kiss. “Months ago babe. First time I ever enjoyed doing research.”

Buck grabbed a condom and make short work of putting it on Eddie. _ Oh my god. Don’t come just from him touching you. You still have things to do. _

He moved, slowly, so that Buck was lying down again. Opened his legs, settled between them. Stayed like that for a minute, kissing his boyfriend and letting the entirety of their bodies touch, skin to skin. Then he reached for the lube.

“Are you ready, querido?”

“Oh god am I ever. Please, Eddie.”

Eddie got a generous amount of lube and moved down Buck’s body again, kneeling between his legs and kissing his abdomen as he brought one hand to brush against Buck's opening. Reveled in the shudder that went through Buck. 

He slowly worked one finger into Buck, marveling in the heat and the tightness and the sharp inhales and exhales from Buck.

“Talk to me baby. How you doing?”

“Good. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. More, Eddie. More.”

Eddie smiled indulgently up at the man he loved. He put his mouth back on Buck’s hip and added another finger, slowly working him open. 

The pad of his fingers brushed one spot and Buck keened and arched off the bed. Eddie grinned. “Guess I found the sweet spot. Lemme make sure I know where it is…” He put his fingers back in that spot and added some gentle pressure.

“Eddie!” Buck’s voice was practically a sob. “Gonna come if you keep that up,” he panted. “Need you in me.”

“Yeah? You ready querido, you sure?” asked Eddie, adding a third finger.

“Yes! God, please…”

Eddie withdrew his hand and Buck whined. He moved back up Buck’s body until their foreheads were touching. He nudged his cock at Buck’s opening, grabbing some more lube. 

He felt himself shudder as he worked himself in, inch by inch. 

“Faster, Eds,” Buck breathed.

He shook his head, closed his eyes. If he kept looking at Buck’s wrecked expression, he was going to come. 

“Need to go slow. Need to last…”

He was finally, finally, fully in Buck. He paused, allowing them both time to adjust. _ Don’t come. Not yet. You need to get him off. You need to see what he looks like when you do this to him. _

“Eddie, god, you need to move. Like, now.”

Eddie pulled out, and slowly, slowly, thrust back in. He wanted to make Buck feel every inch, every small movement. He wanted to feel Buck around him, he wanted to get lost in the feeling.

“Faster, faster.”

“Uh uh. Slowly baby. Feel me? Feel me here?” He nudged that one spot with his cock. Buck whined. So he ground down a little harder. And watched Buck’s face. Watched his eyes roll back, his neck arch. Felt him clench around him. Felt him come apart around him. Between them.

He couldn’t hold back anymore. He thrust once, twice, and that was it. He buried his face in Buck’s neck as his body jerked and shuddered. 

He carefully pulled out of Buck and rolled over onto his back next to him, panting. 

“You just fucked my brains out,” said Buck, his voice a little wondrous, and very raspy. Eddie rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. 

“Told you I could fluster you,” he said, grinning. 

“Yeah, yeah, you wrecked me, you smug bastard. But I think I wrecked you right back.”

“You most certainly did, mi amor. It’s never been like this.”

Buck looked him in the eyes and Eddie felt his heart clench. 

“I love you Eddie.”

“I love you right back Evan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all like it! Lemme know what you think in the comments and shout with me here and tumblr about these babies!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to [xpaperheartso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xpaperheartso/pseuds/xpaperheartso) for the beta!! Editing and catching all my mistakes, putting in action so it’s not all dialogue and adding the awesome ending line.  
Also a huge shoutout to a whole crew of people on the I’m Your Buddie Discord server who volunteered to talk to me about tattoos so that my zero experience with them didn’t ruin the story. I don’t want to list in case I forget someone but know I appreciate it so so much!!  
Enjoy!

“So, I had an idea. Don’t laugh.”

Buck looked at Eddie in surprise. “I would never, babe. What’s your idea?”

Eddie felt a bit bashful. “Well you’ve been talking about getting a new tattoo for Christopher? And it got me thinking - I want to have a tattoo that matches one of yours. A new one or one of your old ones, whatever.”

Buck ducked his head sheepishly. “I was...actually thinking the same thing?” It was Eddie’s turn to be surprised. 

“Really?” He grinned. “You’re such a sap.” He put his arm along the back of the couch, against Buck’s shoulders.

“Oh look who’s talking, Mr. Don’t Laugh at Me,” said Buck with a smile and a half-hearted shrug. 

“Well, what were you thinking, then?” Eddie asked. 

Buck blushed bright red, which made Eddie even more curious. He pulled back his arm and turned to face Buck fully. “What is it, mi vida?”

“Well...I had been thinking more in the context of...well...wedding bands? Since we can’t wear rings while working? But I wasn’t going to bring it up for a while, I know we’re just settling into this relationship and not ready for that yet-”

Eddie cut Buck off with a kiss. “I would ask if you were proposing but you just nixed that. Anyway, I think that’s a fantastic idea, down the road. But what about right now?”

Buck shrugged. “I don’t know. What were you thinking?”

Now Eddie felt his face getting hot. “Do you remember the song that was playing when I first kissed you?”

Buck grinned. “‘Course I do. I loved that song before, but now it’s my favorite.”

“Well, at the time, I felt like it was saying what I was feeling perfectly, you know? How there was so much about how I felt about you that you didn’t know, couldn’t have known. And I think the sentiment still holds - I love you more than you could _ ever _know, because I don’t have the tools to convey how much I love you-”

Buck surged forward to kiss him, and for a few moments, they got lost in it. 

Buck broke the kiss to speak, breathing heavily. “I feel exactly the same way, Eddie. I love you so much more than words can describe.”

Eddie felt like his heart was going to burst. “Well then, my idea was for each of us to write ‘more than you know’ and get that phrase in each other’s handwriting on our forearms.”

Buck’s eyes were shining. “Let’s do it.”

**

Like everything else they did, it took a bit longer than they wanted it to. Buck actually found someone he wanted to do his tattoo for Christopher first.

Eddie had known that Buck was going on his day off, but they had kept it a surprise for Christopher. Buck had told him the general idea but nothing else. 

When Eddie came home that evening, Buck was practically dancing with anticipation. 

“When should I show you guys?” He asked Eddie, bouncing on his toes. 

“Well I’m starving but I’m also dying to see it, so your call.” 

Buck smirked. “Let’s eat dinner then. I brought Chinese from that place near my apartment that Christopher likes.”

Eddie shook his head. “You’re such a tease. Alright, let’s eat.”

When they had finished, Buck promised Christopher a surprise for when they finished cleaning up dinner. Christopher whooped excitedly and hurried to complete the tasks while Buck went to change into a pair of shorts from his drawer in Eddie’s room.

He came back to find Eddie and Christopher on the couch. 

“Daddy, do you know what the surprise is?”

“I do buddy, but I’m not going to spoil it for you!” He reached over to tweak Christopher’s nose. Buck watched from the doorway, his heart bursting with warmth. He loved those boys so damn much. Sometimes he surprised himself with the amount of pure, unadulterated love and adoration he felt toward them. 

“Hey guys, want to see my new tattoo?”

Christopher yelled while bouncing his legs. “You got it? You got it today? I want to see!”

Buck laughed and came to stand in front of the couch, lifting his left leg onto the coffee table. “Voila,” he exclaimed, gesturing to the inside of his calf.

He watched Eddie’s face light up and Christopher squeal and squirm with glee when they saw the surprise ink.

Dory. In her cute, adorable baby phase with the big eyes that reminded him of Christopher when he looked at something in wonder. Black and white, nice and simple. It didn’t say it, but they all knew what it meant. _ Just keep swimming. _ Christopher had inspired him with those words when he had despaired of ever working with the 118 again. Those words had given them both hope when the water had trapped them on the ladder truck during the tsunami. Buck knew he could get through anything because of Christopher and Eddie and their love. He would just keep swimming, because they were his home and nothing on earth would keep them apart.

Christopher launched himself into Buck’s arms and Buck pulled him into a tight embrace. “I love it, Papá! You got Dory for me. I love you.” He snuggled into Buck, small arms holding on tightly.

Buck sniffed back tears as he held Chris to him. “I love you too, baby boy.”

**

Eddie had forgotten how painful this was. He hadn’t gotten a new tattoo since Christopher was born.

He tried not to let it show, though, because Buck was right next to him, watching. Holding his hand. Which was nice, but he’d been through beatings and a broken arm. He couldn’t show pain for _ this_. Especially since he was sure Buck would be stoic for his turn. 

It was worth it though, to see it finished. Buck’s writing, on his skin. It was exhilarating.

He should’ve complained about the pain more, because turned out Buck was a baby about it.

“Dude, you have like a million tattoos? You have one on your hip for fuck’s sake!”

Buck glared at him. “Yeah that was torture. Worth it, but painful. This is also painful, okay?”

Eddie laughed and kissed the hand he was holding. “It’s okay mi amor. You yell and bitch all you want.”

“Fuck you,” but Buck laughed. Soon he was done too. 

Buck went to admire his tattoo, using the mirror to see it from all different angles. Eddie came to stand next to him. 

“You alright there Eds? You’ve got that look…”

Eddie was more than alright. He grabbed Buck’s wrist just below where the new ink ended and gently brushed his thumb at the pulse there, feeling it jump when Buck’s heartbeat quickened. 

“My handwriting is on your _ skin _ Buck. You’re _ mine_.” 

Buck blushed but chuckled. “Is that why you wanted this, to brand me?” His blue eyes flashed wickedly. “Hmm, I like possessive Eddie.” He used the hand Eddie wasn’t gripping to grab his hip and pull them close. Eddie gasped. “Well guess what, Eddie? Mi vida? You’re mine too. And I’m never letting you go.”

Eddie smiled up at the love of his life and leaned in for the kiss. 

“Then I guess we’re stuck together,” he murmured against Buck’s lips, mouth curling up into a smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it folks! I’m definitely going to continue this universe in companion fics, I’ve already got stuff in the works. But this particularly story felt like it needed to come to a close. I hope you all enjoyed this ride as much as I did, and I hope you’re happy with how it turned out! Thank you for the continued support and reads and kudos and comments. I never expected this much positive feedback and it’s encouraged me so much.


End file.
